In response to Mimi on MMM
You are a good egg Mimi, many thanks. Tis true it is the 'blurting out' that has got me into much trouble over the years, especially with jobsworth bosses. I simply can't do things 'the way they've always been done' without question, and they don't seem to like that, but such is life, the conformists usually sided with the bosses and I was out on my ear.
Being ostracised is pretty much a way of life for me, from the playground, to the convent to the office to the world wide web, lol. The nuns tried to 'cure me' by taking away all my privileges (watching tv, pocket money, going out) and sending me to Coventry for 3 months. It was the school holidays and not a soul was allowed to speak to me, nuns, staff, kids, my friends (especially) and my own brother. Happily big bruv, friends and a very kind 'Aunty' went behind the nuns' backs and broke the rules. I was only 13 at the time, and if it wasn't for the fact that my head was permanently stuck in a book, I would probably have gone insane.
It didn't cure me. It made me angry, I spent my days plotting my revenge, just as Scarlett O'Hara waved her fist in the air and swore never to be hungry again, I waved my fist in the air and swore I would never be silenced again. I would speak the truth, not their lies, and I didn't care about the consequences. No matter how much they beat me, or isolated me, I was never going to give in and I was going to tell the world what they did!
Having experienced living in fear, and reading copious books about martyrs at that time, all the punishments hardened my resolve. I remember my 14year old self, telling the Romeo who broke my heart, 'you can't ever hurt me - I've been tortured by experts!'. I was a drama queen even then, and was toying with the idea of becoming Jewish (anything to piss off the nuns). I had just read the heart wrenching and very disturbing Auswitch followed by the very inspiring Exodus and wanted to go live in a kibbutz with a Ben Canaan and fight Arabs, I was gonna get the nuns later. The whole 'Jewish' thing was short lived however, once people got over the shock of seeing of a freckle faced, stroppy teen with mad paddy hair, wearing a Star of David, I got bored with it. Very few were interested in my reasons for becoming Jewish, apart from one kindly 'Aunt' who pointed out there was rather more to the Arab/Israeli war than handsome, olive skinned freedom fighters.
My crime on the 'coventry' occasion incidentally, was taking an unexpected visiting mother into the dining room where her 5 year old son was being forced to eat regurgitated cheese by a particularly sadistic Uncle and telling my own mother where I got my black eye from. It was listed as 'Disloyalty' in the Punishment Book, a universal excuse for atrocities everywhere as I have since discovered.
Some of you may wonder why I have argued the case for Andrew, particularly as he has been so scathing of me in the past. The simple reason is that I passionately hate the words ban, banish, ostracise and caste out. It is a horribly cruel punishment and rarely warranted. There are far kinder ways to modify peoples' behaviour - taking away their means to communicate being the least effective. It is the internet equivalent of 'off with their heads'.
I know Candyfloss would argue that I delete posts, I can't censor them btw, I have no way to edit the comments, and it is true, I do delete outright abuse, I'm not going to supply a platform for loons to rant and rave aimlessly. But do you know what, I very rarely get posts like that these days and can't remember the last time I have had to delete anything. Every forum or blog finds its own level, the contributors eventually harmonise, they either up their ante (and vocabulary) or they sink to the level of the lowest common denominator - as has happened with CMoMM and JATKY2.
My honesty is not intended to hurt, I usually add humour to take the edge off. I actually think dishonesty is far more hurtful because it achieves nothing and it plants the seeds for more sinister and worrying emotions. When given the option, most people choose truth everytime. And it doesn't have to be hurtful, we have the ability to make our words harsh or kind, it is entirely up to us. We are a highly evolved species, educated way and beyond our predecessors, not only can we speak, we can communicate with thousands at the touch of a button, but many have still not worked out that no-one is forcing them to read, watch, look at, or listen to, something that they don't want to. It will make no difference to them, but it will deprive those who want to read, watch, look at etc, said item and there is something a bit mean about that.
Those who state twitter etc, would be so much better if certain individuals/ or minority groups were removed, are deluded if they think this will give their lives an upward boost. When you are on the lookout for something to offend you, you will always find it (confirmation bias). There is absolutely nothing I can, or will do (and this is not directed at you Mimi, you accept, 'I am as a I am') to appease my critics. Where would a writer begin if 'certain' topics were off limits? Don't mention suicide in case someone's Aunt's neighbour two doors but one, had a family member die that way? It reminds me of that Fawlty Towers 'don't mention the war' episode. The more you can't talk about a person or a subject, the more you want to.
I think I have probably been trolled more than anyone commenting on this case, yet I still oppose any restrictions on Freedom of Speech. We all have the right to choose whether or not we want to be offended, I choose not to be. I see the anonymous trolls as the inept, social inadequates they are. They are hiding from me, I am not hiding from them. Tis true I have developed the hind of a rhinoceros, but I cannot understand how people can be so offended by words they read online. And I don't understand how removing the writer of those words, would make their lives any better. The idea of going into meltdown because some Norman no mates living hundreds of miles away mentioned the 'rape' word, is absurd. There are far greater dangers on our own doorsteps.
During 'Sungate' lol, I got a taste of what it was to be amongst the world's most hated. My grinning mush in the centre pages of the Sun reduced one poor anti's mother to tears apparently. I was right up there with the Yorkshire Ripper, Ian Huntley and Heather Mills. The hysteria gave me an insight into how Brenda Leyland must have felt. Many haven't forgiven me to this day, and I doubt they would have forgiven Brenda, had she lived. The most enlightening part of that experience however, was the shocking realisation that so many of the 'antis' were exactly what the MSM thought they were. Nasty people using the case of missing child to go under cover and torment strangers online.
Having been on the McCanns Blacklist (Death Dossier), I could fully understand why people had to keep their identities hidden (I had nothing left to lose), but I hadn't realised how many were actually using anonymity to unleash all their hatred and hidden prejudices against victims they selected online. And luckily for them, they quickly found like minded chums more than happy to join in with their malicious games. As this case nears an end, the different camps will become more distinguishable. Those with their 'right, dead right' theories have given us every detail of their research, yet they have never told us 'why'?