I suppose arguments online turn ugly because posters can hide behind an anonymous image that they have created, that may or may not, be based on their real life.
The chances are that they post as their 'new selves' their avatars, their alternate personality, their cartoon character, the person they want to be. They can abuse those they hate behind the anonymity of their poison pen and the (fake) moral fibre and respectibility of their online personas.
I don't take the insults personally, I have studied enough psychology to know that they are projecting their own failures, inner fears, etc, onto moi, I almost pity them. I can't imagine anything worse than that 'fear of being found out'. I experienced quite a bit of it, during my convent years, and made a vow never to have that horrible feeling again. Its kind of a mixure between guilt and shame brought on by catholicism.
It can cause fat old newspaper magnates to throw themselves off yachts and desperate unmarried mothers to stick their heads into the gas oven. It sort of brings to mind the ethics of Moll Flanders (great gal) on being thrown into Newgate, who wept, not for her crimes, but for being caught.
I don't think I could write anything anonymously, I can see good reason why some people do, they don't take possession of their words, usually for the 'guilt and shame' reasons aforesaid. Their screen character is detached from their real world, and heaven forbid their colleagues, or friends should become aware of their anti-social posting and views.
However, rest assured. I stand by the word 'honour' - it was a particular favourite of a very dear friend of mine. I respect the unwritten code of anonymity in this cyber world. I have no interest, nor desire to unmask anyone or restrict their posting. In some ways I even approve of anonymity, it often allows people to say more than they would, to be more natural.
As for tearing apart my looks, I have no problem in growing older, I had a ball getting here. My days of dressing as Catwoman and seducing young lotharios are long gone (well, thats the way I tell it). I was fortunate to be drop dead gorgeous when I was younger, so happy to step aside for the younger, cleverer and prettier to shine, that is as it should be. I had my days in the sun, and happy to drink wine and sing 'Memory' with old mates and discuss glam rock and Harold Wilson.
Bell I am the same what would be the point of writing as someone different.. what you see is what you get with me.. however even as me there is the guilt and worry after.. as you dont have to be catholic to have those feelings.. I was the youngest and had it drummed in to me.. never to say what you think that might hurt someone.. or.. children were seen and not heard in our house.. and my dad only had to lift his finger and there would be silence.. it was a time of children getting the belt.. the ruler in school.. and in general children did as they were told.. then the 70s.. I was a child of the that time.. became a black sheep of my family.. they were such good times and worth it though.. but I also think compared to today.. I was very innocent.. we all were.......................
ReplyDeleteOh, I didn't mean Big Lynn there Sue, she didn't have an honourable bone in her, and I loved her for it! lol. In the nicest possible way of course.
DeleteNo I am refering to a long lost love, Brickers, the soul mate I was too young to appreciate at the time. He was an old school solicitor and he introduced me to Buddhism, which I think illustrates his eccentric character. He was Uncle Dynamite, and he called me 'old thing', lol. I feel he is someone I will meet again. On the rare occasion I get drunk, I think he might be Barney Bubble but I have never yet been able to woof along to 'Oh Flower of Scotland' and until he does that, I'm not convinced.
In my book I have explained how dysfunctional my childhood was and it is difficult for me to understand the perspective of coming from a regular family, that is mother, father, kids. I did witness friends homes, where discipline, tradition and religion were dominant, but I cannot understand being scared of your mother or your father. In many ways, that is a worse betrayal, if you will forgive my saying.
I think it was a much 'stricter' world all round then Sue, but even some of the old hippies have turned into Mrs Buckets and they're not happy unless they are upsetting someone.
Do you know what I am thinking Bell.. you are missing your dear friend.. and by writing about her you are imortalising her.. and I think that is so lovely.. you were a good friend... xx
ReplyDeleteYou know what I think Bell, is that anyone who tears someones looks apart is insecure about themselves and wants to be accepted by others who do the same. They probably don't even mean what they write and when they hit 'post' they either nervously giggle or gulp.
ReplyDeletePeople who post under anon are cowards and imo detest any kind of confrontation and lack balls and courage of their conviction.
Hiya RSue xx
I think it is a bit sad really, and the days I put mascara on before taking the man in my bed a morning cuppa, are long gone, lol. He can have a slug of vino espano, with dogends in, and like it.
DeleteI jest. I wear my battle scars with pride. As I get older I think of most formidable women I have known, and have to say, my Irish Grandmother topped the list. She was known as Mame, to everyone in the village. She could scare the bejesus out of you or make you laugh and laugh until you cried. She always said exactly what she thought out loud, and followed it with 'God Bless Them' and a sign of the cross. Of course she was totally insane, but memorable. She found her own nirvana with her homely kitchen an open fire, and going to mass. Though I think her real reason was, because she didn't want to miss out on all the gossip after.
I think anonymous screen names are best Inta, because it allows people the freedom to rant, rave, whatever, without fear of their families being put in any wierd situation. And that is quite understandable. That is why I respect that particular unwritten code, no-one should be in fear of being chased or stalked. Everyone has a right to privacy.
The poison pen stuff is bizarre. Mostly along the lines of 'why don't you shut the f*ck up, no-one is listening', signed Europeboard Friends, lol.
I quite like that my ideas offend them, it reminds me that I am doing something right.
tinker.
ReplyDeletePeople who post under anon are cowards and imo detest any kind of confrontation and lack balls and courage of their conviction.
Me.
Yes but that's not always true, what about someone named Albert Non or Angela Non. It must be very confusing when thay have to sign their name.
http://www.facebook.com/Naturesdrop
I miss my dear friend ted , god knows where hes gone ? from denise
DeleteI applaud your philosophical approach to growing old, Cristobell, just as I concur with your suggestion that it is how you get there that matters. It separates those who live or have lived from those who experience life from a vegetative state.
ReplyDeleteLet me offer two quotes from the great Arthur Schopenhauer
1) The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
Hitch4557
2) Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
Hi Bell i'm SO glad i found you again..your a 'good' medicine for me! I love your writing..i have found my sense of humour has increased lately ..and my inner strength ..any my oh my a dark humour is now in place too! Please say hi to the people that matter...and kiss my ass to the rest!
ReplyDeleteAmore xx