My shoulder pain has now spread to the other one. I have already informed my doctor, that she has got it all wrong, I doubt very much I have plain old osteoarthritis, its bound be rheumatoid, lupus, or psoriasis arthritis, and I am going to end up hideously deformed. Stop chuckling my hidden admirers, lol.
I daren't look up 'will I get a hunchback' and an elongated nose on google, because I don't really want to know the answer. I already have the cackle. I can already see a future of shopping online and frightening small children. I am sort of making a list in my head of the pluses and minuses.
Far from being ashamed, I am telling everyone, complete strangers, and I am becoming very much acquainted with a lovely pair of old Irish sisters, who love nothing better than having a natter and a fag, and go on about the terrible pain that comes with it. We always end up giggling.
Arthritis, has its pluses. It is great for getting out of making a cup of tea and it is a card you can pull at any opportune moment. Telling people, you are too damm drunk, or off your head, never illicits much sympthy. Whereas, arthritis can be googled by anyone and the accompanying pain is proven. I should have asked for a copy of the x-ray, to be produced when I want to suggest a take-a-way. Being a drama queen has its downside.
I am definitely becoming more and more like my mother (still think I am possessed),and loving the excuse to boss people around, can't reach, don't feel like it, etc, can all be directly attributed to it. I strongly suspected she had me pushing her around in a wheelchair for the hell of it. It was a whole power trip, and she was loving it, she even called me Jeeves, and would keep her walking stick handy, in case any mere mortals in Morrisons, didn't make way for her. Have you ever tried to manoevre a wheelchair with a trolley attached through a crowded supermarket while said invalid is sitting comfortably, chuckling her head off, and shouting 'I want that one, I want that one' whilst waiving a walking aid as a dangerous weapon. I always expected to be pounced upon by a swat team of swarthy he-men dressed in black, whenever we went shopping. Or the swat team may have been part of another daydream, but lets not go there........... its 1.15am
Alas, it is only a dream, what with my arthritis! I would be OK with a guy who was good company, but couldn't be doing with all that 'how's your father' and definitely no more ironing shirts for anyone who is not a blood relative. I also have a proviso, that says, 'former revolutionaries preferred, and if they look and sound a bit like Antonio Banderas, can play the banjo and enjoys discussing politics. In the event of none of the above applying, no objection to smoking will do. I may have a future where I will have to be filmed from behind a screen, and past the watershed. I can't afford to be too choosy. On the plus side, I could let Disney know I will shortly be available for 'witch' parts, with minimum make up required. I really must stop googling diseases.
I actually had a friend fall asleep on me the other night, but I carried on talking regardless. My son was giggling away, and said I was like one of those strange people at parties who carry on talking to the comatose. Cheeky Sod! He said I bet you won't put that in your blog! Best say, nite, nite,