Well that's it, I have finally done it. I have applied for a passport after so many years. Where am I going? Who knows? Wherever lastminute.com takes me, ha ha. I jest, (or do I?) I have only recently discovered, via letter through the door, that I am to be a pensioner! Whilst I am delighted to be getting there (look at the alternative), I am somewhat astonished, given my previous life of drunkenness, partying and debauchery. Feel I should check literal meaning of debauchery, but what ho.
Naturally I didn't party all the time (although I would have liked to), I simply followed the advice I read in Joan Collins' autobiography many moons ago. She was a big star at the time and much admired for her youthful looks (being over 40). Partying she said was her secret, she went out, she glammed up, by comparison, her settled down, respectable friends were getting old before their time. I liked that, though it was probably because it suited my life choices at the time.
But back to that passport. What I took from Miss Collins' book was the 'glam' bit. That has always stayed with me. Especially the makeup. My first, and arguably favourite job, was working on the makeup counter in Woolworths. If I could only rescue one thing in a fire, it would be 'fek the passport, where's my makeup bag'. I think the same would apply if half the world turned into zombies, what do you grab? A gun? lipstick?
But the passport. Naturally, the picture mean't a lot. Actually, everything, if I'd had a passport, I would have had a trip to Turkey for a face lift before getting a passport! Doh! I jest I wouldn't have gone that far, but I did bust out the Charlotte Tilbury. And I took a lot, a lot, of selfies. Taking a picture of a 65 (almost 66) year old face san jowls, wrinkles and age spots is a difficult (but not impossible) task. I then used an 'App' to make my chosen (very flattering imo, a bit Audrey Hepburn) pic passport ready. Sadly, today it was rejected! And I am hurt, I always take these things personally. I could point out why it was rejected, but for a bit a fun I will put it up here to see if the eagle eyed can spot what went wrong.
My next, not nearly so nice, pic has now been submitted, but I'm not publishing that! Why do official pics always make you look like a resident of a gulag? Yes, dear reader, there are jowls, and even bags. It's hideous! Sadly, at this stage of life with every pic, I am always thinking 'what's going to go on the tombstone'? Please don't let it be that one. My love to all who have taken a minute to pop in, take care.
