Saturday 3 March 2012

I MISS YOU YGL GUYS

YIKES, I have done it, I am here, I think........... peeping out from behind the curtain, I thought I had better chuck in the drama queen analagy before my enemies find me, and haven't yet found smilies, but still looking, wink, wink, meanwhile will get a libel lawyer on standby. 

I am missing me old mates, me old muckers, that gang of granny thugs, who used the aol message boards to knock seven bells out of their equally decrepid YGL room mates with their zimmer frames especially on a Friday night, when the gin bottles came out with a vengeance and sure as eggs is eggs, you could always guarantee it would end in a punch up. 

For nearly 5 years we met up constantly, regularly, to the point of obsession and in need of psychiatric help.  Some might be relieved to know that when I confessed that particular addiction to my own shrink, he said, not to worry at all, it is the 21st century equivilent of chatting over the garden fence.  But back to the Europe Board, that became the Penny pickers, or something like that - an especially hilarious time when we could insult each other with accompanying graphics - lots of fairies and pigs! The Penny Pickers became the YGL, as we declared an amnesty in our search for a new home in which to abuse each other.  All pretence at never wanting to set eyes on each other again was put aside, as memories of Selectedsgate flooded back, to all our shame.  I think I used the feck a lot.   

Really hit home how much I missed you lot this week, especially with the loss of the legend that was Davy Jones.  Only another menopausal old bird of whatever class, faith or creed, will understand the sheer grief of his passing.  He put the first twinkle in my pre pubescent eyes, he made me see boys in an entirely different life.  Up until then, I had always viewed them as dirty, smelly creatures to outwit if I couldn't outfight.  It was like an awakening, an epiphe, Davy Jones was a God!  OK, a bit over the top, but I used to run home from school to watch the Monkeys!  RIP Davy, you made us all Daydream Believers............

But back to our board, I am sure we would all have grieved together, and shared our fond memories...........  ahh, but we always managed to unite for the important things.  Annie would be making plates of sarnies and vol-au-vents, to pass around at our impromtu Davy Wake, Bree would have a big auld stew on the hob, and Pauline would be asking us to take orf our shoes, in case we damage the real wood flooring.  I would place me Doc Martins next to Mandy's (fake) Jimmy Choos, and we would start the evening calling each other dahlink, sweetie, and luv, before moving onto biatch, slut, and similar terms of endearment as the evening progressed, ahhh, those were the days. 

Some might be hearted to know I have finally had my hair done.  It became essential, I was starting to look like one of those loonies you always hope won't sit next to you on the bus.  My son said, I looked like an escapee from a dementia unit.  He's very blunt.  I have had it cut with a full head of highlights,  Should explain that I had to go from dark to blonde here, and it was a problem shared.  I sort of look semi-human now, which is a relief to many.  I took some time out to become hemit for a while.  Of course I didn't have the requisite cave (sadly), but this society's equivilent, I got old and became invisible.  I go to the shops without makeup, I dress for comfort, not style.  I feel that if my photo became public I would be used as an example.  That's what 40 years of booze, drugs and a disproportionate love of profiterols does to ya.  I wanted to look like Jane Fonda, but I look more like Anne Widdicombe.  Its not the look I was going for at all.  I tell myself I have that 'I think I am really ugly' phobia thingy, but I am afraid that if I tell that to my shrink, he will say, 'nope, its not a phobia, don't go out until it gets dark, and wear a headscarf'.  

But this blog is not all about me me, ha ha, I'm looking for me old sparring partners.......  sally, or should I say Dr. Evil, put the cat down for a mo, Prn, I miss ya!  Listening to your views kept me hanging onto the wobbly and wide road, as opposed to the straight and narrow.  Annie, get out the wink, wink, teapot. 

17 comments:

  1. Ohhh look at you blogging :-)

    (Just writing this as a test)

    I agree about the breaking news bit, was always the first place I went when something happened to see who knew what from where.

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    1. Do ya wanna raise a glass to Davy and join in on a chorus of Hey hey for the Monkees? hic

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  2. Hi Bell! Funny as ever............. Jolly xxxxx

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  3. I have a horrible feeling it will all be downhill from here Jolly,lol, I've just opened the wine!

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  4. Coooo eeee Bell :) Wondered where you'd got to......I miss you and everyone as well :( I was going to email you today but got completely wrapped up in the forum, some of your old friends are there, you know your fellow countrymen well a women actually lol.

    Just eaten a whole tub of Ben and Jerrys phish food, if I'd have known you were here earlier I'd have left you some or maybe thrown it at you lol

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    1. Ha ha ha, might you be Helen? wink, biatch on the Ben & Gerry's, but probably a good thing, terrified to ask what fish food is?

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    2. Nope not Helen :) Mmmm Phish food, little chocolate fish, marshmellow whirls and rich dark chocky ice cream. Yummy yum yum lol

      Bree's on her way so watch out!!

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    3. Oh shit, did this on one of those spur of the moment thingy's and she will kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Let it be known, I plead insanity!

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    4. Lol Bell, she narky with you as she wants to be the star of your blog, just given her full insgtruction to get in here and how to kick your ass :-)

      Helen

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  5. Im first comment on here :-)

    Im finding this a bit tricky though as I thought it would put my name on and didnt.

    Helen

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    1. Haven't got a clue how it works Helen, just thought I would dip a toe and find out! Tbh, the boys are sick to death of me going on about Davy Jones and the Monkeys! (sad face) - and one of his pal's said 'who'se he?' which hurt like a dagger to the heart

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  6. Blast out some 'Daydream Believer' at the boys, that'll teach em :)

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    1. Do ya know what, I asked if they had any Monkey's albumns in Asda yesterday, they were great old songs weren't they? Ones you could sing along to! The nice lady at the checkout knew exactly what I mean't, and we bonded instantly. Ahh, the bliss of talking about the old days with people who were there!

      On another note, am halfway through my bottle of Rose, and seeking out 'When You Were Sweet Sixteen', to play and sob too, because I totally missed out on singing Auld Langs Syne this year. But I digress.

      And Tinker, I'm way ahead of you on the revenge front, will sing it to them live, I am chuckling as I envisage their horror stricken faces! I am still stringing out the whole invalid thingy, just had an operation, etc, so pretty sure I can use guilt to nail them to their seats. The poor Bubble has gone a bit mutton in his old age, so hoping he will listen without the need for handfed titbits, or his bowl raised up to his poor old snozzle. I'm pretty sure he is stringing us all along with sad face that says 'you will have to carry me', he managed to bite a cat's ear the other day!

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  7. I am soooooo loving your Blog sweetie.

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  8. It is entirely my pleasure, Bell, as your company was one of the silver linings of the dark, dark YGL cloud. I trust that your head is undamaged, that the dog survived its close encounter with your feet and that the door remains in serviceable condition. I enjoyed your quoting Noam Chomsky on YGL and your being such a determined, logical and persuasive advocate for the legalisation of cannabis. Hitch

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    1. Hitch, I am simply chuffed that you are reading here. When I started reading about Noam Chomksy, I couldn't stop! Gawd bless Wikpaedia! I was still reading as the sun came up. What an amazing man, human being. Inspiring. I have also watched several subversive films of late, I will pretty much watch anything to avoid Ricky Gervais and the BBC and Film 4 usually put out a kooky film after midnight.

      Dog is undamaged, you will be relieved to know, though it is hard to tell, he is ancient and weather worn, lumps and bumps everywhere, deaf as a post and blind in one eye. But he has settled into that 'I'm the king', and could die at any moment throne quite comfortably, and we all rush about trying to pre-empt his every whim. I have noticed however, that when stricter people are in charge, he can manage the stairs, and hobble off to get a drink,on his own, no problem. I have always been very gullible, hence my support of the tories in my tender years.

      I note what you say, re cannabis, and I will draft something, the law is ludicrous and someone far cleverer than myself, thinks legalising the stuff would solve the recession. Hmm, you have got me scratching my head.

      However, the whole 'banning' thingy, gets my heckles up and the remains of the mini me Margaret Thatcher is appalled that anyone has the right to dictate to me, a pretty wizened and astute old bird, what my poison should be. How dare they!

      I have never met anyone who has given me a convincing argument to cling onto these archaic laws.

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  9. welllll hellllloooooooo guya, hope you all doing well xxx
    jill (sherrybabes)

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