Friday, 9 March 2012
AN ODE TO HELEN
Oooooh Helen, put the iron away. I think I am going to start a feminist protest group in your name! (You have to have a cause luv, if you are going to be the star, and quite frankly, I've had it up to here with Kate and her diva demands. She says she has been studying you, and is just getting into character. Would you please reconsider Angelina, or maybe Jennifer A? But I digress. I am quite liking the whole anti ironing thingy. That could raise a whole lot of passion out of menapausal women. The steam of hot flushes combined with Zannussi's latest is an explosive mix. That lightbulb moment when you realise the sky won't fall in if you don't iron the t-towels. Its a bit of an epiphamy. Shit, giggling here, it might be ephany, where the feck is val? lol
Incidentally, the best tip I ever had, was to fold the nets when you put them in the machine, and hang them straight back up wet. I never ironed a net from then on! And put tops (shirts, jumpers, etc) on coathangers straight from the washing machine, basically, wherever you can - doorways, handles, whatever. Young son has a disproportianate fear of coathangers, I have no idea why, but it gets the washing dry and ironing will be a thing of the past. Just don't go out in daylight or anywhere respectable. It also helps to tell teenage boys that ironed jeans are nerdy!
On the downside, your children may scream hysterically when they go into drycleaners and need therapy for ever more. But to avoid ironing, a risk worth taking I think. Bless 'em.
I haven't given up ironing entirely, it was just that, I made myself a golden rule, I wouldn't iron, unless I had a glass of wine in my hand. And I was very strict. That same rule applied, even if it was I was awakened from my slumber for an urgent shirt for work. I was in danger of becoming a total alcoholic and losing my job, so I gave up the ironing.
Ps. Thinking of variations on the words Helen and Foundation at the mo, Hmmmmmm
Pps. Am thinking of inviting Jodie Marsh to audition?
Ppps. Are you limber?
Now, if I can just figure this out Helen, I am going to post it on my blog as an ode to your goodself! :-*
Pppps. I in no way think you resemble Jodie Marsh, lol, just not forgiven you for scolding me over leaving my M&S chocolate peanuts next to my v.hot adapter. Yes, and it hurts to say this, they were mush. I just feel that you could have been a little more sympathetic.........