Anny and Bree, you are making me wistful. Maybe there is a perfect man out there somewhere just for me. I am presently in love in Sheldon from The Big Bang. For those not familiar with this divine creature, he the lanky geek, a sort of cross between Dr Spock, Stephen Hawking and a daddy long legs. He is adoreable, I just want to bring him home and make him chicken soup! My tastes in men are very diverse. I can go from Gerrard Butler in a gladiator outfit (phew, hot flush) to the divine Niles from Fraser. [loving the word divine at the mo, so please excuse excessive use]
I always say looks never bothered me, at the tender age of 14 I fell in love with Galen from Planet of the Apes, I saw past the unusal features and the excessive body hair hair, I just loved him. Sadly, I kind of stuck with that whole simian thing for many years thereafter, which is a whole other story. Don't worry, I will give you fair warning so you can get the tissues and the gin at the ready, and oy, Helen don't forget the Maltesters (2 boxes for £2.50 in Co-op)! You can have a couple yourself for setting me off giggling.
But back to the perfect man, still smitten with Sheldon at the mo, but will try not to let biase my judgment. To be honest, if I had to go back and start all over again (heaven forbid, phew, its the only thing that puts me off Buddhism, I'm just not sure I could fully commit to that whole coming back again and again, and next time I might come back as a rat), but I digress.
I made some very strange choices when I was young, free and single. Would I really have rolled up me pencil skirt to climb onto the back of a Hells Angel's fake Harley? It wasn't quite the romantic experience I expected. He wasn't a real Hell's Angel and I was no biker chick! I screamed like a banshee nonstop, lost one of my false eyelashes and a stilletto and he cried like a big girl when I threw my remaining shoe at him.
For brevity, I will go off and continue along these thoughts. It is going to be hard to come up with a recipe for the perfect man without my beloved Sheldon being a main ingredient (he is just sooooo cute, pull yourself together woman) and I am torn because Anthony Bourdain (he loves a puff and can cook) has to be in it, ditto Salvador Dali and a couple of table spoons of Mo Molam (also liked a puff and solved Ireland problem) - Not sure if that makes me gay, or just plain wierd, lol.
Saving the best til last, the divine Marlon Brando (yes, smoked the demon weed Bree) whose feet I would have happily died at, the man was a God!
Come on girls, hubble bubble, toil and trouble, who else do you want to chuck in the pot?
Chuck in the pot?? Well I like Tom Hanks...and I think there's a lot more to Tom that just a nice guy..I like Matt Damon..now I just know he's a nice guy...BUT DO WE WANT NICE GUYS OR DO WE REALLY WANT DARK AND DANGEROUS GUYS? they give ya the thrill chills but are they lifelong material? Well they usually know they attract women like flies around you know what...and they think women should be grateful he is with them and unless he meets a mirror image of himself in a woman he'll always think they were lucky to snare him so I dont see them as staying material..I kinda always liked a guy who had a little scar on his cheek or near his eye..looked like he's lived a bit and battled a bit but most of all I liked confident guys..not over confident but sure of who they were...when I met mr annie he was pretty confident..(he even had a tiny scar where his brother hit him with a stick when he was 8) now what gave this guy the confidence he carried I wondered...Mmm
ReplyDeleteas I got to know him (he told me as soon as I met him he was going to marry me) I found out he was one of six kids and as a child lived with his parents in a room and kitchen in the Tenements of Glasgow..outside bathroom..(God, I was fascinated at that bit) but all of them had to muck in with running the household and jobs done before leisure time...out with the milkman at 5am to save up for a bike..4 out of the 6 went to grammar school, mr annie included--- and took French and Latin at school (that impressed me a little bit considering he was from Glasgow) and from 17 to 68years old (he still holds down a wee job of a few hours a week) but he's put his family before anything he might have wanted to do...so who do I throw in the pot? mr annie of course..so dont look for the best looking guy..he probably loves himself more than you love maltesers Bell..you want someone who will put the washing out if he needs to (including my big knickers (he picks up the phone and says..."airport..no flying for a few hours until the washing is dry cos me wifes knickers are on the line and it's very windy out") he puts body lotion on my feet and legs cos I cant reach with my sore leg and he doesn't seem to notice they need waxing or the celulite or the puffy ankles...he takes over anything I cant manage...why would I put anyone else in the pot Bell? I adore him and he adores me..and his confidence came from knowing at a young age just who he was.
I like Tom Hanks, especially the way he goes to premiers and chats to the ordinary people behind the barriers.
DeleteThe rest of your post warmed the cockles of my heart and I totally understand the confidence thing. My first (memorable) boss, oozed confidence (he was known as The Silver Fox in the legal world and I would blush and lose the power of speech when he spoke to me. Of course those shy, maiden days have long gone, and I now ask to see six months payslips, before I let a fella buy me a drink - eat your heart out Samantha Brick.
Delighted you are a big pants woman like myself Annie, I couldn't be doing with those cheese slicers, and try to detect signs of lying in women (and bizarrely some men)who say they are comfortable.
Having been young and naive and gone for the blue eyed blond that everyone thought was drop dead gorgeous and envied me the hunky boyfriend, he was nothing more than a clothes hanger, a clever man but too lazy to use his brains, unless it involved smoking cannabis or getting rat arsed he didn't want to know, made millions of promises to look after me if i should fall ill, huh i should've got it in writing!
ReplyDeleteNow i have the bee's knees and wouldn't swap him for the world, he treats me as i deserve to be and makes me so happy, always making me laugh and would do anything for me. He's not drop dead gorgeous, he's handsome but more than that he has a personality, and i know he'll be there for me no matter what!
Wouldn't want to put anyone else in a pot, i've been lucky and given a second chance and that'll do me nicely.
I bet the blue eyed adonis is now balding and fat, and probably spends his nights down the pub, guzzling pints and stuffing ferrets down his trousers!
DeleteSounds like you the good 'un there!
Read this. It's very "grounding":0)
ReplyDelete“I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is witheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore-- despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have 'that thing' even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination-- the complete and merciless devaluation of self.
WOW! That sounds like the story of my life, especially understood the sick, crazy and depleted bit! I remember reading about a little lovesick Italian girl who would answer the phone, then put it back down again. If it wasn't Mario, it wasn't anyone.
DeleteBrian Ferry did say that "Love is a drug!"
ReplyDeleteWe all get sucked in but thankfully some value us and don't abuse us like a shared needle. Love in the wrong hands can be disasterous, it's not love it's called controlling, they aint happy unless they're calling the shots!
I don't know if that is exclusive to men anon, the controlling thing that is. some people have that need, and some, freakily, like to be controlled. I suppose if it works for them........ It has never worked for me tbh, if someone tells me what I do, I instinctively do the opposite. I just don't understand how couples fall into each other's routine?
DeleteThink i'm still looking for the love of my life, better get a bloody shift on though as i'm getting tired of hanging about, would also help if he's rich to boot but that isnt a necessity lol.
ReplyDeleteI've been in lust loads of times and mistaken it for love now & again but dont think i've ever been truely in love, would probably come as a bit of a shock to im indoors but its the truth.
Married my first hubby because I think it was expected, at 17 when we met everyone we knew were getting engaged and planning a wedding and I think we just followed suit, he was sort of handy though because I couldnt wait to get pregnant lol he was a good man and provided for us (although I had always worked) he was great round the house and had mastered most DIY skills by the time I left him, emotionally he was useless though and thats what drove me away in the end.
When I met the current im indoors it was all bells & whistles, 11 years younger than me he definately pressed all the right buttons and for quite a few years we survived mostly on passion, I had two small children when we met but they quickly turned into teenagers and being with someone who seemed at times to be holding onto his own teenage years made it bloody hard work and all of a sudden the passion didnt seem nearly as important, we muddle along ok for the most part but he's not the love of my life and if truth be told I dont think i'm his either lol.
The last 20 odd years have probaly been a bit of waste for the two of us but most of it has been ok, so.....I havent found my perfect man and to be honest I dont know what he would have to be like either.
I know what you mean about the difference between love and lust. I wouldn't have missed the lust part for the world, but usually found that had a 2/3 year lifespan for me, tops. I wouldn't have missed the tumultuous relationship either, as mad as that sounds. I think everyone should go through the torment of waiting for that fecking phone to ring!
DeleteAfter that you have got to think of the future. Do you really want someone to switch the football on when you want to watch Come Dine With Me. Ideally, you should have separate wings in a large house. Or several houses, like the Blairs. I am sure its what keeps them together.
I think you have it sussed Bell, well for me it works living apart but still together. He has his place i have mine to retreat to when you feel stifled and you do at times but it's the meeting up however frequent, it feels like a date and you both have to make an effort and no slobbing about in jim jams, hair undone and looking unkempt (thats for when you're alone lol). It's the best of both worlds, you're both always at your best because both are still trying to please the other and there's no retiring into slovenly ways or annoying habbits which can grate on each other the way they do when living together, ok, you know he/she snores,farts, pick their nose whatever but you can do it in the privacy of your own home and don't need someone telling you off for doing it!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's the companionship, just having someone to talk to, to listen to, share hugs when your day has been rough, yeah the sex can be great but nothing beats the contentment of knowing there is no pressure to perform and all thats required is cuddles, the knowing there is someone there when you need them even if you do live apart.
I think contentment rates higher as you get older and it's the quality of sex not the quantity, if it happens it happens but isn't the be all and end all. Before the present o/h i went through a phase of having "fcuk buddies" purely for sex because i thought that was what i wanted/needed, yeah sure the sex was mind blowing, hot and steamy, but i soon realised it wasn't really what i wanted, apart from the thrill and excitement it was damn well dangerous and stupidity on my part, anything could have happened!
I was like Bev married young because it was expected and the more i was told i was too young the more i dug my heels in! It's a true saying "marry in haste repent at your leisure!"