MUM'S THE WORD

I've known many people with pristine homes, the ones where you have to take your shoes off at the front door and there is not an overflowing ashtray in sight.  I often wish I had the courage just to turn up, out of the blue, and catch them in tracky bottoms with the remains of their spag bol down their fronts.  I sort of picture them surrounded by half empty boxes of KFC and lager cans, like Wayne and Waynetta.  I can only dream.


I haven't quite reached the point where Kim and Aggie have to unearth me from under a pile of newspapers, miscellaneous crockery and a few dozen moggies, but I don't lose any sleep about a bit dust on the skirting boards.  I also now happily wear odd socks.  I refuse to be dictated to by a pile of laundry.  Should I be run over and rushed to hospital, my undies are clean, but my last words will probably be 'I couldn't find the other one'. 


I am suffering from empty nest syndrome at the moment and sharing my Dine in For Two with an elderly mutt called Barnabus Bubble.  His table manners are appalling and his conversation isn't up to much, but he is a good listener.   He agrees with everything I say, and is quite happy to march alongside me, as long as he can stop for a wee at every lamp post.  Another plus, is that I don't have to share the wine, and I get two puddings. 


But I digress.  I need a cause.  I have had it in my head for a long time that women of a certain age are badly negelcted.  Its bad enough that we see our lovingly prepared meals sitting on the side on the command of 'I'll have it later', and we are unappreciated by society in general.  We have a wealth of wisdom and experience that is largely untapped and definitely not rewarded.  We face difficult times, our children especially, so many kids are being criminalised by Judges who are handing out sentences that reflect society's outrage, but are disproportionate to the crime.  We should be laying the foundations for our childrens' futures, not building more prisons to house them.