Wednesday, 31 December 2014

THE RELUCTANT DIETER'S GUIDE TO HEALTH AND WEIGHT LOSS's%20guide%20to%20health%20and%20weight%20loss

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A year ago, at almost 57, I was nearly 5 stone overweight, size 22,  fat sick and manically depressed.  By giving up processed food, following a high fibre, low calorie diet and taking up 40 minutes exercise a day,I have lost nearly 5 stone, most of it when I began to take exercise.  I have more energy now than I did in my 20's and am loving my new size 12 clothes!  As a food lover and exercise hater, I inadvertently stumbled across the easiest way in the world to lose weight and keep it off forever more and I want to share it with everyone! 

I approached my own weight loss regime by wondering how much I could eat, and how little exercise I could get away with.  Not the most enthusiastic approach in the world, but it worked!  As I began to get my health back, and it happened within days, I realised how ill I had been, and it all began with a 30 year old exercise tape! 

There is nothing complicated in my diet plan, it won't cost you anything more than £1.99 on Amazon, and if you take the helm as I suggest, you will be back in control within weeks. Who knew control of your waistline could also give you control of your life, but it does and I highly recommend it!

I have also opened a Reluctant Dieter's Facebook page ( for anyone who wants to share their stories and tips and get a bit of moral support and advice along the way.   

Happy New Year to all my readers.  There's a big welcome to all on my new facebook page, come on in and grab a glass of bubbly, or whatever takes your fancy, not the waiters please, and we can start conquering the world, one pound at a time!  Cheers!

The Reluctant Dieter's Guide to Health and Weight Loss, by Cristobell, available on Amazon 01/01/2015 :)

Sunday, 28 December 2014


At my fattest and looking like a lumberjack!

December 2014 - the New Me
On New Year's Day, I will be publishing my account of how I lost over 3 stone in 3 months, and how my life changes have cured by Type II Diabetes and brought my blood pressure and cholesterol back within the normal range.  I have gone from a size 22 to a 12 and am doing more now than I ever did when I was younger. 

My diet plan is the easiest one you will ever do, and will last you a lifetime.  I urge you to please buy my book, its a good giggle (I hope) and full of useful information in less than 100 pages!  The changes I made can be achieved by anyone.  Best of all, it won't cost you a thing, apart from £1.99 on Amazon! 

If you like my book, and I hope that you, please take a moment to comment and share.  My writing career ended because of my opinions on a high profile case and my books come under savage attack. This book is a (largely) politics free zone, my only hope is that I can get the message out there that losing weight and keeping if off is easy!


I’m not the result of a laboratory experiment or a year spent with a formidable personal trainer and a cupboard full of goji berries, simply a middle aged fat woman who took control of my life, lost over 3 stone, and got my mojo back within 3 months. It wasn’t painful, I never went hungry and I will never return to eating the harmful addictive food I ate before.

Best of all, I took myself out of the fat belly danger zone and brought my high blood pressure and high cholesterol back within the normal range and my Type II Diabetes has gone. 

High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol and Diabetes Type II, make up the huge variety of symptoms that combine to form Metabolic Syndrome, that nasty killer condition that ensures we rarely see old fat people. Our bodies simply cannot cope with carrying all that excess weight around and we are not aware that we have got it until we drop down dead. Alternately, when we haven’t got it anymore, we can see just how ill we were.   

At the age of 57 I had pretty much resigned myself to being overweight and unwell for evermore. It was all part of the ageing process wasn’t it? With middle age comes middle aged spread and acceptance that all the dreams I once had now lay in my children. I had written myself off.

There was no such thing as a successful diet, because as soon you return to ‘normal’ eating the weight piles back on. As far as I could see there were two choices, an extended miserable life of lettuce leaves or a shortened life of eating the food I enjoyed. There had to be a better way and I was determined to find it. 

And find it I did, and I want to share it with everyone who has ever failed at dieting, or even succeeded, because the very gentle diet and exercise routine I suggest YOU create, will be manageable, but more importantly, sustainable for life. Unfortunately, the diets drawn up by other people (experts) consist of foods we can’t afford and aren’t available in our local shop. If you are planning the menus, you make the choices.

When I bit the bullet and started my diet and exercise program, I fully expected it to go on for a very long time before seeing any results. The startling fact is, the opposite was true. The effects were almost immediate (within days), even with my ‘I really don’t want to do this’ half arsed approach, it worked. I leapt with joy at discovering how easy and pain free losing weight was going to be, but with a tinge of regret - if only I had known I could shift 3 stone within 3 months, painlessly and with minimal effort, I would have done it years ago! 

As cheesy as ‘if I can do it, anyone can’, might be, it applies. I’m an a stereotypical, post-menopausal Fat Fifty Female, who has tried every diet, failed and sought solace in a sausage roll. The only exercise I got was the short walk between the living room and the kitchen, with the occasional trip to the supermarket to stock up on double cream and packets of BOGOF sweet things. That I was anti exercise was a given.  

I lost the weight without any treadmills, without any humiliation and without ever going hungry. That losing weight is hard is a myth, it’s not, it’s easy. That doing exercise is painful and unpleasant is also a myth, it’s not, it’s easy and indeed fun and it doesn’t need anywhere near the amount of time and dedication that is implied.

Most of us are put off dieting and exercise because we are always being told how hard it is and we have horrible memories of diets that banned things. We are put off before we begin, because the results they are selling us are out of our reach. Much as we would like to run around the local park in lycra, or swim ten miles before breakfast, we can’t because we’ve got laundry to put on, kids to get to school and some explaining to do to our boss about the report we didn’t finish yesterday - and probably why we are late - again.   

Alternately, if we have spent the last ten years moving gently from bed to sofa to comfy chair (via the fridge), a couple of hours on a treadmill would probably kill us. We need to take baby steps, and every little helps. 

The diet and exercise plan I suggest, will be the easiest and most effective you will ever do, because you will fit it around your own lifestyle. If you are eating with the family, you simply need to up the veg and decrease the proteins and fats. You wont need to go out and buy anything special. If you are lucky, and your family are learning about food with you, they will accept the brown bread and loss of coco pops without complaint. 

This isn’t a dieting book per se, I’m not a health food guru and I have much yet to learn. Its simply an account of how I did it, and the hurdles and pitfalls I faced along the way. If anything it is ‘The Reluctant Dieter’s’ Guide to fitness and weight loss, because if my half arsed approach to healthy eating and exercise worked, I am sure there are others out there who will do much, much, better!

Anyone Can Lose Weight                                   
Obesity and Depression            
How Depression Takes Hold            
Reasons to Live                    
I Must Create My Own System          
Because Your Worth It             
The importance of your own space         
I absolve you of guilt              
Reasons our waists expand and our
Health deteriorates              
Your Doctor Won’t Save You           
Understand your body              
The technical bit                
Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS)            
Make a Plan                
Learn about food and nutrition             
How to create your own diet            
Choose Good food, not Bad           
Get the legwarmers out              
What I buy and eat               
How to keep the weight off            

Sunday, 14 December 2014


So I wonder who the Brazilian couple expressed a desire for a child to?  Err, lots of couples desire children, for many its why the get married.  Has 'we hope to have children one day' translated to 'we are on the Algarve to steal an English child'.  Would a couple who desired a child (not in the normal way) really go to the Algarve and spread the word around that they were planning a kidnap? And of course, this couple who desire a child are Brazilian, and sadly Brazil is a nation who's Capital's streets are littered with thrownaway children, children who's disappearance no-one would notice.  Any couple who desired a child in Catholic Brazil wouldn't face many problems.

Whenever these childless couples theories appear, you cannot help wonder why said abducting childless couple would ignore the two sleeping babies (choice of boy and girl) who shared the same room as Madeleine?  Why squeeze past the two cots to steal a child who was almost 4?

I sometimes wonder if these theories come from Mr. Ludicrous himself, they become more and more ridiculous as the months/years go by.  No wonder the McCanns have made appeals to the public for convincing abduction stories - 'what do YOU think happened' the pro's challenge, 'and give a step by step account of exactly how they did it'. The Ideas Department is open for business.

The McCanns are in the unhappy position of having to create and distribute abduction stories on an almost weekly basis. For all the negative publicity that emits from Scotland Yard, they must have a story ready for the Sundays to counteract it.  Stories full of hope - especially now we are hitting the Season of Giving.  The coffers are low. Madeleine is alive and being cared for as a Princess in a castle in Sao Paolo, give generously and WE, her parents, will get her home.  Please ignore the man behind the curtain Scotland Yard, they were only pretending to look for a body, they are really closing in on the couple looking after our Madeleine.  In light of these new developments, we will shortly be releasing a 'tanned' age progression picture, so the search can go on in Latin America, where the power of prayer is greatest. 

Of course they have stopped with the 'sightings', they weren't sustainable after Scotland Yard were on the case. Once all those helpful people sending in photographs and 'might have been Maddie' stories, realised they were liable to have them checked out officially and charges of perverting the course of justice might follow, they dried up. 

We are told the Portuguese police believe Madeleine was taken by a Brazilian couple and Scotland Yard believe she was killed in the apartment by bungling burglars who fled with her body, and somehow managed to bury her in the vicinity immediately after the alarm was raised.  These inept burglars, came away from the apartment without so much as a wallet or a TV (though they did manage to clean up) have kept their dark secret for 7+ years, despite over £2m being offered as a reward?  Err, Ok, the public will buy that.

You can see why the McCanns are having problems with their spin.  Absolutely none of it stands up to scrutiny.  For example, at some point the theories of the PJ and SY will have to tally - only the Portuguese have the power to prosecute anyone for this crime - so at the moment, we are left with a Brazilian couple who desire a child ignoring the two sleeping babies and clashing with a gang of bungling burglars in Apartment 5A during one of the half hour checks.
Neither gang came away with what they wanted, but they did manage to run around with a mop.

Before anyone pounces on me for being disrespectful, I do not create these stories they emanate from Team McCann and are showcased by the British press.  The UK media work on the assumption that the public will accept as gospel, everything they tell us.  Unfortunately for 'the establishment' the internet has thrown open the doors to information our forbears could only dream about and they have lost control of the news.

The case of missing Madeleine McCann has revealed to lots of ordinary people the extent to which their trusty daily newspapers have been lying to them.  The truth about Madeleine's disappearance is a only a click away, and more and more people can see that what the UK media are telling us about what happened in Portugal, bears no resemblance to the truth.  The world is now a global village, and news isn't restricted by borders.  What happens in Portugal doesn't stay in Portugal.  What the British newspapers have been telling us since the McCanns started to wield their Carter Ruck sword (with public money) bore no resemblance to the investigation as it was being reported in Portugal, and contrary to what the Establishment might believe, the British public are not stupid.  

For whatever reason the British Establishment and the British media chose to believe the word of two neglectful parents over that of the Portuguese police, a stance that was doomed to end in tears, a lot of red faces and Lord knows how many millions.  7+ years on where are we?  A childless Brazilian couple and a gang of inept burglars.  Hands up those still convinced this was an abduction? 


Friday, 12 December 2014


'After this week, Smithman will the central focus of glamour-girl, Vogue-featured 'I paint my nails to impress the men' DCI Nicola Wall.
Tony Bennett.

Ooh that got has got my feminist heckles up this morning (angry face).  My blood is boiling. Tony's reference to 'painting nails for the men' reveals so much about his attitude to women, and indeed the 21st century and so too the dimwits who support his creepy misogynist stance.  Of course Vogue would be interested in a high flying female detective, it is read by women worldwide! We like reading about other women and especially those with powerful careers. We don't want to read about women who are barefoot, pregnant and shackled to the kitchen sink. 

What the hell is wrong with a bit of glamour?  Must DCI Wall wear tweed suits and brogues with her hair slicked back in order to be taken seriously? Is her nail polish and lipstick a distraction to the men? In that case what about the cute young male detective whose hair falls so seductively over his brow when she's brings him tea, should his bangs be cut off or stuck down Hitler style to prevent any outbreaks of attraction in the workplace?

What a dull old world this would be if it were ruled by Tony and his devoted followers, a world where a glimpse of stocking is something shocking and heaven knows. Apologies I drifted away there.

Tony's bizarre statements reveals that his theories are growing closer and closer to those of Team McCann - they are united on Smithman, and now it seems they are united on criticising Scotland Yard. I can't help wondering what the old rogue is up?

Tony is a man of strong religious beliefs, that include creationism, and he has a fixation on the weird sexual practices of other people, a fixation shared by lots of religious zealots and wannabe saviours of our morals and our children.  I don't want to focus on their sex lives, I haven't yet had my breakfast, but they seem to believe there are legions of devils among the rest of us having Roman orgies in our bedrooms.  They believe they have given 'all of this up' to follow the divine path, and are therefore superior and have earned the right to stand in judgement.  It matters not that other peoples' sex lives are probably just as dull as their own, what is actually driving them is the product of their own (very disturbed) imaginations and logic has long been discarded.

Tony believes there is an international paedophile ring operating in PDL that runs through and up to the highest echelons of British society and he wants to be the Christian soldier who drives them out with his trusty sword.  He cannot accept that Madeleine's disappearance could simply be the result of a tragic accident (or indeed murder) and opportunist parents.  There must be paedophiles in there somewhere.  On the 'paedophiles on every corner' front, he and Jim Gamble are singing from the same hymn sheet. 

Robert Murat was selected as a patsy very early on.  He was a single man, living with his mother and shock horror, he had a bit of porn on his computer.  All the other stories about him, I won't repeat because they are so offensive, but Tony Bennett bought them hook line and sinker because it suited its own ideology and agenda.  Here was someone he could hate even more than he hated the McCanns - a sexual deviant! However, I have no doubt, when the true story of Robert Murat being made an arguido emerges it will be clear that he was 'fitted up' with the profile, the anonymous tip off, and the bizarre bestiality stories from childhood - obviously created by a big fan of [i]Criminal Minds[/i]. 

Today will be very interesting indeed.  Tony Bennett will be jumping for joy if RM is made an arguido again, if he is, it will confirm a whitewash.  If he isn't Tony will claim the whitewash continues. Whatever the outcome, it looks as though the McCann case is heading towards the perfect storm and it is being led by an attractive, glamorous female who knows rather more about the ways of the world than an antiquated preacher who twitches at nail polish. 

Thursday, 11 December 2014


Yes, the cat's out of the bag, its official, the McCanns do not like the Smith sighting!  Well of course we have known that for years, but those trying to convince people otherwise have now been proved categorically wrong.  The Smith sighting has always troubled the McCanns deeply.  If Smithman didn't bother them he would have been shouted from the rooftops because his running through the streets with a child supported an abduction story.  A man who looked like Gerry carrying a child that looked like Madeleine in PDL at kick off time is just too coincidental in my opinion.  Lets hope DCI Nicola Wall heard the McCanns dismissal of the Smith family evidence.

All in all a terrible day for the McCanns I'd say.  I think they stayed away because it kept the press away - clearly they were not expecting things to go well.  Bad sign too that Isabel didn't show up.  Law is another form of showbiz for ugly people and barristers are as narcissistic as they come.  The lead barrister in a 'winning' trial wouldn't miss the last day's summing up for love nor money. Its their moment in the spotlight, the time they present all their knock out blows (if they have any) and slam home all the words they have been preparing for months, if not years, that Isabel would miss the final act is bizarre.  I read that she had another court case, but frankly if I were client, I would be livid, and if they are not, then its because they have already given the case up - a real possibility, they might be saving cash, her non appearance has saved them the cost of two barristers for the day, as it was the childrens' barrister spoke on behalf of all the claimants.  Are the McCanns now finally cutting back?  If they are, its a weird time (and place) to choose and shows how much faith they have in their case.

Some are predicting the McCanns will appeal if they lose.  I don't think that will happen.  This trial has been a huge embarrassment for the parents, I don't think they ever expected it to go this far, in fact, I think they truly believed that Goncalo Amaral would pay up as everyone else had and it would be another easy win.  They waited until Goncalo's book had been out for a year before they brought proceedings (allowing the royalties to stack up) and at that time they were at their most powerful.  Their coffers were full and the great and the good were putty in their hands. 

Unfortunately for the McCanns, the long delays in Portuguese Court proceedings has seen a complete turnaround in their fortunes and the way in which the public perceive them.  Seven years on and after multiple legal actions against anyone who criticises them, the McCanns are now seen as greedy and unscrupulous and that they are demanding cash from the detective who was searching for their daughter takes bizarre to the extreme.  Another case where we have seen this is Jonbenet Ramsey, the Ramseys sued 'Jonbenet's Avenger' and the case settled.  However, the McCanns don't have the resources or the clout of the Ramseys (well they did for a short while) and they didn't bargain for the strength of character shown by Goncalo Amaral.

The McCanns desperately want this trial to go away with as little publicity as possible.  They tried to settle almost two years ago, but Goncalo Amaral was having none of it.  He wanted his day in Court, and what we may well be seeing now is the McCanns squirming.  They take no pride in this case and no-one, other than sycophant Summers wishes them victory - the case doesn't even get a mention on the Facebook page, strange as you would think they would appreciate the support of their 610,000 followers. 

I did a rather pessimistic blog yesterday (I was in a grumpy mood), but today I am feeling rather more optimistic that justice will prevail.  The (female) Judge in the Lisbon trial wasn't in the least impressed with Gerry's strutting and dissing of the dogs' evidence, and the fact that their lawyer droned on about them yesterday gives away their weakest spot. Well two weak spots, the dogs and the Smiths sighting have them rattled enough to use the damages trial to refute them publicly - even at the risk of annoying the Judge still further by going off topic. That, imo, is very telling indeed.

Wednesday, 10 December 2014


Never in the entire history of crime worldwide have a  police force devoted so much time and trouble to steering suspicion away from the obvious suspects. 

Armed with an open cheque book, and who knows what agenda, for more than 3 years Scotland Yard's finest continue to investigate non English blue collar workers who may or may not have been in PDL when Madeleine McCann disappeared.  White British professionals are not suspects or people of interest.

The failure of Scotland Yard to investigate the 9 people who were there, the ones with the means, motive and opportunity to make a body disappear, has reached the stage of excruciating embarrassment for the entire UK.  

It all began with the UK's bizarre decision to accept the word of Gerry and Kate McCann above that of the Portuguese police and authorities.  From then on the parents were seen and portrayed by the British Mainstream Media as victims of a bullying and corrupt foreign police force who were trying to blame the McCanns because they were incapable of investigating the abduction properly, ie, in the far superior British way.

The only ones who appear to be bullying and corrupt right now are the British (and what the hell are they doing investigating a crime in Portugal) - as they pull in yet more Portuguese citizens and accuse them of a crime they couldn't possibly have been involved in.  It doesn't seem to matter, that these men (and maybe women) will have to live with the shadow of suspicion over them forever more, in fact it doesn't seem to matter how many lives are wrecked to keep the abduction story going. In my more optimistic moments, I think that Scotland Yard are acting out some of elaborate plan, but they wouldn't harm innocent people in the process would they?

Well 3 years on, Scotland Yard haven't found an abductor either, and its not for want of trying.  Now the British police are back in Lisbon to 'supervise' the next round of interviews, while the suffering parents are up the road, trying to extort over £1m from the detective that the British had removed from the original investigation!

I wish I could speak and understand Portuguese, because at the moment I can only imagine how 'What the Fuck' translates. 

As a postscript, I'm now starting to wonder just how far 'they' are prepared to go to validate this 'abduction' story. If all of this is subterfuge then why are they involving so many innocent people? Can it be justified at the end of the day? Poor Brenda Leyland actually died as a result of the sick game that is being played out to protect this couple, it's not just the Portuguese who should be asking wtf, we should be as well.