Wednesday, 28 August 2019


For the first time ever, I think, Donald Trump has mentioned Jeremy Corbyn, more precisely, his fear of Jeremy Corbyn and fear for his new best buddy Boris Johnson.  And Boris, it would seem has taken a page straight from Trumps book of how to abuse the Law and the Constitution and get away with it.  How long before Boris starts shouting 'fake news'.

To be fair, he might as well start with it now, because his statement explaining why he was shutting down parliament, avoided Brexit completely.  His concern now, is Crime, the NHS, the Infrastructure etc, that is, domestic politics over the biggest crisis of our time.  The tories have ignored domestic politics for years, but suddenly it is their number one priority.  Now Johnson's constant referencing to increasing police numbers and focusing on our safety make sense,  perhaps he is hoping to use his water canons?

Already social media is alight with calls to action, marches, peaceful protests. civil disobedience.  The last time a wannabe dictator shut down parliament, Charles 1, it resulted in Civil War and the loss of his head.  We are probably on the brink of civil war as I speak.  The pompous ass that is our Prime Minister probably trash talked our previous Prime Minister (a woman!) and our European allies (feckin liberals) with the wrecking ball that is Trump.  History is being made, we are living it, we should be recording it, we should be reacting to it.

Parliament, including many tory MPs have overwhelmingly rejected a 'No Deal' Brexit (twice)and put to the vote, they would probably do so again.  What Boris Johnson is doing is unconstitutional and undemocratic.  But he hasn't won yet, and he can't win if the entire country comes out against him.

And I don't think there can be any doubt that Boris Johnson is aiming for a no deal Brexit. Donald Tusk has made it clear that they (Europe) will not budge on the question of the Irish Border and there isn't one.  If a peaceful solution were available, someone would have thought of it by now, so Johnson is almost certainly going with 'f**k Ireland', probably on the advice of his new bff.  This brief parliamentary sojourn I would imagine will be a very busy time for Boris Johnson and all his billionaire pals.  A time in which great fortunes will be made by those 'in the know'.  A time for new shipping companies with government contracts for example, to actually buy some ships.  

Johnson is sweeping aside the wishes of the majority in order to force through a catastrophic cutting of all ties with our friends and neighbours in Europe.  He wants us to do the equivalent of a 'moonlight flit', leaving behind all our past ties/loyalties and leaving a trail of debt, so a tiny percentage (less than 2%) can add to their billions.  My heart goes out to all those small businesses who are dependent on trading with our European neighbours and who have established networks to run their companies.

I am terrified for the NHS and especially those like diabetics who need life saving medication every day.  Will supplies of insulin be uninterrupted?  Are people stockpiling, should we be stockpiling?  And the stockpiling applies to pretty much everything.  How many familiar groceries will disappear from our shelves?  What about our nurses?  We all know how much the NHS depends on foreign nurses, will they all disappear?  ?Will right wing Boris shut the door on immigrants and refugees?  Will we become an insular society of nationalists, hell bent on returning to Victorian times.  Victorian Times were particularly good for the rich, the tories and the employers, they could literally work and starve their employees to death without the interference of Health and Safety or Human Rights Courts in the Hague.

Boris Johnson will be like Trump.  Cutting loose with Europe without any promises or pledges will allow this right wing tory government to bring the working classes back to the days when they had no option but to work long hours in inhuman conditions.  They want us subjugated, they want us to know our place, and they want the upper hand in all future trade negotiations.  In a nutshell they want to reverse all the gains made for ordinary people by the Unions and the Labour Party.  

There is no honour to walking away from Europe as Boris wants.  That won't matter to him because he is shameless.  But it will matter to each and every British citizen and the way in which we are seen forever more in the eyes of the world.  

But I started with Trump so I will end with him.  His backing of Boris Johnson is one of the best things that could happen for Jeremy Corbyn.  A vote for Boris is a vote for Trump, and even hardened conservatives might struggle with that.

Saturday, 24 August 2019


'I met a gin soaked, bar-room Queen in Memphis'.  Well bless my cotton socks and happy anniversary today to Honky Tonk Women everywhere, and especially to the Rolling Stones song which was number 1 in the US and the UK, 50 years ago.  And thank you James Melville for pointing it out.  My cotton socks need blessing, because after all these years I had no idea just how raunchy the lyrics of said song were.  True, being taken upstairs for a ride is pretty unambivalent, but the honky tonks and the gin soaked bar queens are a revelation.  I always thought the words were 'I met her in so far...…..something, something, Memphis', though to be fair, I have never really tried to sing along.

I was not quite a teen in 1969, and the love of my life was Davy Jones of the Monkeys. The adorable Davy set the high bar for the men in my life from then on. Pity I didn't stick with it.  David Cassidy was divine, Donny Osmond cute, but my heart lay with the playful and childlike Davy Jones. 

Like many from my age group and background, for the first part of my adult life I was oblivious to anything outside my own orbit.  I was unaware that 'pop' songs, or heck, music throughout history contain subversive and political messages. I knew they sounded rebellious, but I didn't know why.  And that the same applied to art and literature all those 'vanities' that I am drawn to. My entry into higher education was an awakening, within 6 weeks I knew there was no turning back.  However, despite all that, it has taken me 50 years to discover the Rolling Stones were labelled the bad boys for good reason.  And wtf does 'blow my nose' mean, lol?

My plan was to write a blog tomorrow, thus giving Trump an opportunity to make a complete arse of himself at the G7, he is an endless source of material.  Last year saw him sat in the naughty chair with his arms folded with Angela Merkel and all the other world leaders looking down on him.  I actually think Trump is facing historical defeat next year, he will lose by the biggest margin in Presidential election history. While the strength of his base may have increased, the numbers haven't, and even his most ardent fans are now stating publicly that he is a raving lunatic.  In losing the trade war with China, all those farmers who voted for him have lost their future livelihood.  China was their biggest customer.  

Happily his ratings are plummeting (he judges everything by ratings), mostly because of his stupidity.  How does he think calling an entire (huge) ethnic group ignorant and disloyal will help in the polls?  Racism and cruelty is not as popular as Trump believes it to be.  Eventually, even white, blue collar men without a college degree, will ask themselves 'what if he comes for me next?'.  And he could, at the drop of a hat, look how he fat shamed one of his supporters at last week's rally? 

There are so many similarities now between Trump and Hitler that Godwin's Law is officially off the table.  Hitler in the 1930's was able to seize control of Germany, despite having a small base like Trump, because he took control of the army, the police and the media.  Trump probably dreams of sending the troops into liberal areas just to beat the shit out of them, but he is restrained thus far because the USA is a democracy.  Soldiers and the forces of law and order swear allegiance to the Constitution, not to the mob boss in the White House.

But it would be remiss of me not to comment on our own bumbling oaf who has today just had his arse whooped by Donald Tusk.  Tusk has #Mr No Deal trending and not in a good way for our PM.  Europe are standing firm with Ireland, and quite rightly.  Those of us who remember 'the troubles' in Ireland know what the realities of a border in the island of Ireland would be catastrophic.  Who could be so callous as to throw away the Good Friday Agreement? All those willing to settle for No Deal that's who.

Thursday, 22 August 2019


Homeless families  in London are being housed in shipping containers.  That's the top trending news in the UK today.  August 2019, not August 1919 or even August 1819, here in one of the richest most advanced nations in the world, in the 21st century, human beings are being housed in shipping containers.  How does any tory politician go into any negotiation with leaders of more advanced countries, without being beetroot red with shame!  18 years of the nasty party and this is where we are.

And we are here, because the masses, all those of us not in the top 2% of high earners and billionaires, are stupid enough to believe that that these entitled, privileged, greedy, blood thirsty (foxes!) upper class dotards know what is best for the rest of us.  The idea is ludicrous, but for many, those upper crust inbreds are preferable to a kind, honest, incorruptible man who wants to change the UK just as dramatically as the Labour Government of post war Britain.  Imagine a Britain that invests in science, technology, the arts, a Britain that welcomes talent from all over the world and builds on our collective knowledge?

The myths about Jeremy Corbyn are created and circulated by those with vested interests in keeping honesty out of government.  And to that I would add a potential Prime Minister unwilling to turn a blind eye to atrocities that are going on in Palestine.  It is not anti semitic to condemn the actions of Israel, and from what I have observed, most Jews do. I saw today that 79% of American Jews voted for the democrats, Trump's pro Israel stance is not winning them over.  Whatever, it is absolutely crazy to suggest Jeremy Corbyn is in any way racist.  It's kind of like Trump projecting all his crimes on, well everyone else. Honest broker Jeremy is being accused of all the despicable traits usually associated with the right wing of the tory party.  

Harry and Meghan.  I have confessed, I think, to having a soft spot for Wills and Harry, and now too Kate and Meghan, despite being a socialist.  Harry and Meghan will be pounced on whatever they do, because, mostly because, schhhh, Meghan isn't white.  And that's quite a lot for a Daily Mail reader to take in.  Quick pass the smelling salts.  That they make a beautiful couple and it's high time the royals married outside the family, should boost their approval rating, not lower it.  I love both of them. Harry for being a cheeky chappy and Meghan for being her own woman.  I know we should all be concerned with our carbon footprint, but it's a bit much to demand a Duke and Duchess should set off on a bicycle made for two or, heaven forbid, a rowing boat.  I think the young Royals are doing a terrific job on the popularity front, much better than their predecessors.  Except maybe Princess Di.  

It's incredible to think that a President of the United States could be so easily be taken in by what started out as an inter office prank.  He actually believed he could buy Greenland, just as easily as he could buy and build a luxury condo in Azerbaijan, no occupants required when you are merely money laundering.  Rather than admit he had been pranked, he went along with proposed purchase of Greenland idea as if it were a real thing.  The world meanwhile were rolling on the floor laughing, as the great eejit in chief dug himself deeper into the hole.  Now he has been further humiliated by the President of Greenland pointing out that the whole idea is absurd, but all he's got is 'we are the United States you can't speak to us like that'.  Sadly for the citizens of the US, he uses the collective 'we', when he personally is being insulted.

And back to Boris Johnson.  Gawd 'elp us.  More specifically, gawd help the island of Ireland and everyone who makes their living hauling goods from one country to another.  Are we going to see ships queuing up in the Irish sea, lorries backed up from the border with Ulster?  Jeez, the loonies are officially now in charge of the asylum.  The outlook is good for those who want to make a quick few billion and run, but for those who depend on ongoing trade for generations to come, not so good.  

So happy that one of the more odious members of the Royal family could be about to have his collar felt.  I doubt he is popular with anyone, least of all the press corps, so they will all be digging away.  I once read, it may have been in the fawning butler's book, that HRH Prince Andrew was bad tempered in the morning, known to throw whatever came to hand at the hapless servant with the task of waking him.  I like to think said servant spat in his tea.  The US happily, does not rule out felons on the grounds of their royal blood, so let's hope gropey old Andy is called to account for himself.

Wednesday, 21 August 2019


UPDATE 21.08.19

I have vowed to continue with my blog even if I have only one reader left.  Even, even, if, that one reader left is myself.  I write mostly, it must be said, to amuse myself.  That is, I try to encompass in my writing features of some of the best writers I personally, have ever read because they wrote in such a way that their words touched me deeply.  I don't copy them per se, but I draw on those parts of their writing that resonate with myself.  All very narcissistic and very self centred I know, but I figure if something makes me chuckle, it will makes others chuckle too. Among my heroes is Bertie Wooster and his delightful Uncle Dynamite, on the Uncle Dynamite front, I strive to be the female equivalent, the most important thing any one of us can do is spread sweetness and light.

As can be seen, I am in the manic stage of bipolar, the fun bit, where I am on top of the world.  It totally makes up for the long drawn out depressive episodes.  It's probably the bit where arty types become creative and productive because it is accompanied by the belief that you can do anything. If you are stuck in deep depressive episode, the manic highs may as well be a million miles away and never expected to be seen again. I have learned to love them, my friends and family, not so much. 

But enough of the misery!  This blonde new, yes I'm going to say it, wild thing, is ready to hop on the back of a Harley and hit Route 66!  (arthritis permitting).  I have, not only my mojo back, but the ability to turn my very short bob into a massive 60's beehive, a la Dusty Springfield.  From a distance (Jupiter says Smartarsedson), and with a low light, I could pass for Dusty!  

Returning to my opening paragraph.  A writer writes always.  It is what we do and if we are enlightened, we appreciate each and every reader of our work.  It is validation that our words are resonating with others, perhaps we are putting into words what others are thinking?  I like to think to think it is the latter, which is why I like the interactive nature of this forum.  

It is unfortunate that my name and scribblings have been so horribly tarnished by my views on the Madeleine McCann case.  But ce la vie, I have never written anything I do not believe to be true, so my conscience is clear.  Whichever way you look at the case it is sad, on so many levels.

I want now to move on.  To write about the sort of subjects that interest me and that I hope will inspire readers to write in and express their thoughts.  There is a great line from Marx, Groucho not Karl, who apologised for raising an offensive subject, by reassuring the audience 'if ya don't like that one, I have plenty more', or thereabouts.   I have avoided so many subjects because I am already so unpopular.  Hopefully, with this new attitude, that will change!

Avec Pompadour!

Yeah, I'm blonde!

I don't know why I booked my hair appointment a week in advance, then added to the pain by making the appointment in the afternoon, doh!  

I am in the middle of a major anxiety attack, an attack that has literally lasted all week.  Today I will discover what lies beneath all those boxes of colour, and even more frightening, what it will be like facing the world with white hair!  

Happily I am quite accomplished at being able keep my internal screams of anxiety to myself, and at this point I am having to as there is no such think as 'hair crisis line', and my friends have stopped talking to me.  I jest, they are on standby, pink gin and ice at the ready ha ha, I'm hoping one will visit a patisserie.

Ah well, the scaffold awaits, I'm off for the chop.  If I survive I will put up pictures later!

Eeek, I am a blonde!  Sadly, the blonde is not so striking in the pics as it is in real life, pure white and ash blonde, I honestly don't recognise myself, lol.  I went off to the hairdressers, like a condemned man (or woman) to the gallows!  If the dear girl had said I will have to attach a cage of rats to your face while I do the bleaching, I would have said 'okey dokey', so resigned was I to the horrors that were to come.

Of course it wasn't like that all, quite painless actually, my mate came along to have her hair done at the same time (only a cut), but it made for quite a giggly, girly, afternoon and we hit the pub straight after!  

I cannot even begin to say how delighted I am with my new white/ ash blonde hair.  I have so over thought the whole going grey process, that I was fully resigned to going into the hairdressers as 'middle aged' and coming out 'old'.  But the most surprising thing happened - it didn't age me, apparently it has taken years off!  And it's not just me saying it! I'm even thinking of all the things I can get away with, not as a white haired old lady, but as a blonde bombshell, tee hee.  The first thing I'm gonna do is have a make up tutorial from a drag queen, a tad bizarre I know, but it's on my tick list, along with partying with Jack Nicholson in New Orleans and having a coffee in the Seinfeld cafĂ©.  

Hairdressers and barbers I am sure, absolutely have their finger on the pulse when you get chatting.  Apparently my 'age group' are among their most 'adventurous' clients.  Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did point out the 'last chance saloon' factor, lol, who cares if we dare to wear our hear purple.  

As much as I want to be 'free from the dye' and released from the shackles of the 'white skunk' line, I don't think I am going to abandon colour or should I say colours from here on in.  I love the idea of temporary colours that I can play with and wash out.  I just don't want to be imprisoned anymore!

Thursday, 15 August 2019


Apropos of nothing at all really, I have decided to share my going grey transition.  As most people know, giving in to the grey is a life changing decision.  And it doesn't just affect women, I remember my dear old Dad hiding his Grecian 2000, in case anyone should discover he was 'colouring' his hair.  

As my regular readers will know I am currently 'trapped' in a watershed, I can't make my mind up about anything, except, with absolute determination, I am not going to dye my hair anymore! On that I am absolutely resolute, and I have now said it publicly, yikes.

I have always spent an inordinate amount of time and money on my hair and, despite my sins, it remains as tough as old boots and still does pretty much what I tell it to. And it has been through much, from the time I dyed it black as a teenager and spent an entire day in the hairdressers having the colour stripped out.  Black hair and freckles, really not a good a look.  I spent the next year buying highly priced specialist shampoo from an alchemist shop in Covent Garden to soften the strawlike texture.  

Then there was the time I decided to go blonde and another full day in a hairdressers chair.  Fortunately the damage was not as great as the first time around, but the result was still more brassy yellow than ash blonde. But the ending was a happy one, over time with regular cuts and highlights added, it became divine.  Almost too immaculate, I was teaching at the time and one of my students asked if she could touch my hair, and was it real.  

Then there was the world's worst haircut.  I had at the time found a wonderful hairdresser close to where I worked, she cut my hair exactly as I asked her to.   My confidence in her reached such an extent that I allowed her free rein.  Ok, the world's worst haircut began with the world's worst decision, and I recall it here as a word of warning, never, ever, let anyone with scissors do what they want!  The horror dawned on me when she asked if she could shave one side of my head.   I then looked more closely at her own man like haircut and stature, and thought oh feck, she's going to turn me into a punk rocker (it was the 80s') and I had to go back to office!

The haircut was awful.  There was absolutely nothing I could do with it to make it look feminine.  It reminded me of a time in childhood when my brother cut a clump of hair off the top of my head.  Nothing could be done, I had a 'tuft' thereafter.  People who knew me didn't know what to say, people who loved me said it will grow out.  Even now, I shed a tear as I recall those miserable months with terrible hair.  Sadly, I am shallow enough to equate bad hair with misery and good hair with happiness.  Bad hair days are accompanied by 'I can't go out looking like this' and 'I don't want anyone to see me'.  Neglecting my hair and letting my grey roots show is my first obvious sign of depression.  From photographs taken over the course of a lifetime, I can tell, simply from the hairstyles whether I was 'up' or 'down' at the time.  When I lost my dear old Dad, my hair grew to waist length, I just couldn't bear the thought of going to the hairdressers because I always used to go show him my new 'do'.  

But returning to the grey.  For the past few years dying my hair had become an unpleasant chore.  And it was becoming more and more frequent.  Within days the grey around my hairline would reappear, and within a week, the white line down the middle would become obvious.  I have reached that stage of the battle where it really is time to surrender.  I colour my roots with light brown or dark blonde, but regardless my hair is dark brown and shades thereof, due to the layers upon layers of dye it has had over the years.  There will be no subtle difference between the badger line and the dyed hair!

I am now at the two month stage, or thereabouts, I didn't record the exact date, but it was shortly after a haircut where my hairdresser recommended that I embrace the grey, it's currently very fashionable!  I began mulling the idea over from then on.  Actually, I did more than mull, I began to watch every 'going grey (or gray in USA)' video on YouTube.  I was looking for a quick, easy way to transform.  The 'day in a hairdresser's chair' is an option, but it involves continued dying and upkeep, something I permanently want to ditch.  I feel as though my hair has kept me hostage to boxes of dye and hairdressers for more decades than I care to remember.  And that includes my fringe - I have no option but to have my hair cut regularly because my own efforts at fringe cutting would make a good comedy montage.  

Saying 'feck you fringe' has been one of the most liberating moments in this process.  I have been teasing it up and back, going with the cow's lick I have fought all my life, so I have a wonderful half platinum, half brown quiff where the fringe used to be.  I am actually pushing all my hair back so my white hairline is exposed.  I have gone from hating it, to loving it, and wishing it would grow faster.  I am examining it each day with a microscopic mirror to see what colours are coming through.  It seems to be predominantly white, as expected, I'm almost 62, but I am thrilled with that.  Nature is taking that extra platinum step, that I was too much of a wuss to take!  I'm finally going to get that Jean Harlow, Marilyn Monroe look, I have always secretly craved, albeit it's going to take about a year and half!  

People and I include myself, often equate being grey, or white, with images of cauliflower perms or abandoned tresses.  The badger line gives an unkempt, too busy or too depressed, to care look.  Wise women understand that they can do just as much with their grey/white hair, as they can with dyed hair, and then some!  I am quite liking the stark white 'Morticia' streaks and am looking at the purple and blue shampoos - Mrs Slocombe eat your heart out! 

I have watched many videos of women who have kindly and thoughtfully, shared their going grey journeys on YouTube.  They all share a kick-ass confidence that I have found inspiring.  From a feminist perspective, they stand alongside their male peers, in saying 'yeah I'm going grey, so what?'.  There is nothing I admire about Theresa May, except perhaps she didn't appear to hit the bottle (dye).  Ms. May was part of that small demographic of academic and wizened women who have never bothered with such trivialities as plucking their eyebrows or painting their toenails.  Admirable for their confidence, they achieve their ambitions au naturale.  Sadly, having discovered at a young age, all the fun things I could do with my hair and face, I was never going to go down that route, so my transition will be slow and painful.

Funnily, reaching that level of acceptance has alleviated much of the pain.  So too, has simply stating, 'I'm letting the grey grow out'. It has, psychologically at least, taken a load off.  I don't want to be carted off to the psychiatrist again.  I jest.  But seriously, people do seem to be staring at me more than before.  Being a nut, it's hard to know if it is part of the paranoia, or maybe it's just because I am staring at them, especially those who have embraced the grey, are thinking about embracing the grey, or those determined to dye until the end.  

But I'm not quite as confident as I may now appear.  I have to confess, I dived into charity shop one day last week and bought a sun hat.  True, it was sweltering hot and sunny, but it was the glimpses of my sweaty, white/brown head in the shop windows that sent me running for cover.  Unfortunately, it didn't fit my fat head (I think it was child size) so I had to re-donate it elsewhere.  I have now invested in a variety of headbands.  Not to hide the grey but to enhance it, I push the dyed hair back to let the grey show, using the hairband to create a white pompadour quiff, 1940's style.  Voila!  I am surprised at my own boldness - I have hidden behind a fringe for my entire adult life.  It started off as hiding perceived wrinkles (age 16), and remained as a shackle from then on.  For some reason I saw pushing my hair back off my face as too open or too vulnerable, as though I were revealing my flaws to my enemies.  
Now the simple act of pushing back my once fringe to expose the white, gives me a feeling of empowerment.  It kind of says 'yeah, this is the new me, and I like it!', lol, maybe not quite so aggressively.  

Should I give in to the grey? is a question we all ask ourselves, men as well as women.  And it is a question most of can't avoid, because colouring, hiding and masking is the norm, opting out and choosing to be grey, is the exception.  It is a life altering decision, fundamentally it is making the transition from middle to old age.  We can, with our dyed hair, cling onto our middle age status ad infinitum, especially if we chuck in botox and surgery, but the fixings are cosmetic, they can quickly be washed away in a shower of rain or a hot flush.  We get to a point where we are fooling no-one.  I should perhaps make that realisation more specific to myself, in that I have reached that point, where even I, very brutally I might add, am asking myself, who am I trying to kid?

Ps.  It is two months (or thereabouts) since I wrote the above, and I have caved!  Red faced, shamed emoji!  Or at least I am on the way to caving, hair appointment booked for Wednesday, lol.  Unfortunately, my retro 40's, headscarves and headbands do not make me look like Lana Turner, they make me look like Mrs Bush, the elder.  The stark contrast between the dark, dark, brown of my growing out dyed hair against the bright white of the incoming roots is ghastly, it looks like an intertwining of Elaine Paige singing Memory (in full costume) and Phoebe's Smelly Cat. A kind vet would put me out of my misery.  

I am going to have most of it cut off!  Yikes!  What's left will be bleached mercilessly and toned to match my natural Platinum (I have to pinch myself when I say that, I could not be more excited!). I have tried blonde before (and loved it) but I have never gone full 'white white'.   I am not expecting the full 'Jean Harlow' at the first attempt, but I feel I am within touching distance.  

I will shortly catch up with the latest pics.  Apparently I did not ditch the dye in April, just after my last haircut, my last haircut was in March, so I am a good 5 months in.  This is the stage where most transitionees cave!  Either, a pixie cut, highlights and lowlights, or as I am doing, bleaching the colour out.  I have nothing but admiration for those who choose 'cold turkey', and I gave it a good try, but whilst browsing at grey wigs, I realised it would be a lot cheaper to blend (with bleach or whatever) what I have with the 'incoming' than going all 'Beyonce' for the next year.  

Anyway, I hope the 'video' works, my knowledge of technology remains abysmal.  Apologies for getting away from the McCanns and politics and devoting an entire blog to something so trivial as going grey.  My lifetime's saving from total insanity, has been my ability to be so easily distracted.  Brexit blah! Maniac Trump blah! the end of the world, blah!  My incoming grey hair, stop the press, hold the front page, feck, I have lost forever, the attractive, formidable, young(ish) woman I once was.  With white hair I am officially old.  Hey you, go join the 'grey' vote over there.  I don't feel relevant any more.  I am part of the past, not part of the future.  It feels so weird, because, it literally feels like yesterday when the Beatles were singing 'Yesterday'.  

But I will end on a happy and tad drunken note (I am drinking pink gin).  Ditching the dye has been ffffing hard, my hair has always been my crowning glory.  It is the one thing in my life that I have never scrimped on.  It came above groceries and mortgage is all you need to know.  Every woman, and maybe even many men, know how great it feels to walk out of a hairdressers with a stylish new 'do'.  My dear old Dad, bless him, would always reach in his pocket and say, go get your hair done, to bring me out of a depression.  He was ahead of his time

My anthem, if I have one, is, I get knocked down, and I get up again.  And nothing helps me get up again like a new 'Do'.  Watch this space!  I feel forever blessed that I have readers who have stayed with me, even during this 'tumultuous watershed' where I don't know where I am going.  I am kind of hoping that my new look (whatever it might be) will take me into a new 'wise old woman' stage.  I won't be expected to look cute and gorgeous, but I will anyway, (I'm going to be such a bitch when I am a platinum blonde lol).  I think I am going to push the boundaries I would never dared when I actually was young and gorgeous, lol.  Jeez I would so much love to have a convo with my 16 year old self.  I'll have to make up for it by having a convo with 16 year olds everywhere, especially those who are my blood relations.  

But please, stay tuned.  I have, after much pontification (is there such a word? I'll risk it anyway, lol), decided to share my going grey journey, with you with my much appreciated readers.  I have done, nothing much at all lately, but bless you, you have stayed with me.  When I started my blog I vowed to continue even if I had only one reader.  I just love writing and I feel immensely privileged that there are other people who want to read my scribblings.  

I don't know what the feelings of my readership is towards me, I'm going 50/50 love hate.  I'm being optimistic here.  My postbox suggests maybe, 30/70 hate.  The 70 being mostly Dave, who is outraged by everything I say.  Z, by the way is the outraged 60+ former alpha male here, who still thinks he can put me in his 'little woman' place.  If I were a 'She Wolf' from the days of Olde, I would slay him!

But chuckles.  I am a little bit drunk now so going off to listen to 'Honky Tonk Angels' and Elvis being so lonesome he could cry.


And that is a major ouch for a self confessed narcissist.  Oh Lord, the gift yea gi us, to see ourselves as others see us, as Robbie Burns once said - or thereabouts.  I'm pretty sure he wasn't referring to the difference between the gorgeous young thing I see in my dressing table mirror and the rather odd, aged looking woman I see in the selfies and pictures I take, but his words are strangely applicable.  I fear the camera is more accurate than my own lying eyes!  It reminds me of an incident not so long when I caught sight of myself in my son's wing mirror.  'Good heavens', said I, 'I'm not half as good looking as I thought I was'.  'Finally!' said SAS (Smart Arse Son), implying he had been trying to tell me that for years. Fortunately, I found it amusing, like the time he told me my body dysmorphia was quite justified.

On the home front, my rebellious decision to embrace the grey has not gone down well.  Those who know and love me (a very small circle) are finding it harder to accept than I.  They fear I will no longer be the person they know, right now I'm more mumsy than nanny-ish, I'm not ready (they say, bless 'em) to move into the nan group, to settle among the placid, cauliflower permed knitters of breakfast cereals. I'm not sure that patronising advert represents any nanas these days, most are just as vibrant and fashionable as their offspring and are just as likely to have long, well-kempt, flowing locks. The long hair grey hair transitions I have watched, have been spectacular, true they too have to go through the awful ugly duckling stage longer than those who cut it all off, but their incoming grey adds unique highlights to the styling of their hair.

Among many of the grey videos, were women who gave in to the urge to have all their dyed hair cut off pixie style. Pixie style is another option for the impatient, but a drastic step and a horrific way to discover short hair just doesn't suit you (see tragic tale above).  There is nothing to hide behind.  Unless you have the exquisite features of Audrey Hepburn or Mia Farrow, I would say avoid.   

I find actually, that I have a new admiration for those women who embrace the grey, whatever route (no pun intended) they take.  Each must have gone through the transformation one way or another, through highlights, or cold turkey and their patience has paid off.  One of most exciting parts of the journey, is not knowing what colour you will end up with.  I'm not religious, but I do believe in nature.  It has far more sophisticated colour palettes than L'Oreal, I look forward to seeing what it throws at me. 

Going grey really is a case of 'mind over matter'.  On the one hand we can see it as a permanent enemy at the gate that we have to go to war with every two weeks ad infinitum, filling in the holes with spray paint and polyfiller or we give in to the biblical glorious crown. The bible holds grey haired folk in high regard, one of the few things I agree with.  It is strange how one day you can look at some things, the dreaded badger line, with sheer terror and shame, and another day, you can see it as a symbol of empowerment.

The truth is we are all acutely and unrealistically thinking that others are scrutinizing us with a magnifying glass.  This is entirely in our heads, even in the heads of those we consider sane.  It makes us painfully self conscious, paranoid, even though we have no need to be.  Most people think about themselves 99% of the time.  Unless you have gone out in your pyjamas, or if male, are walking around with your fly undone, everyone you encounter will instantly forget you.  It is not even a memory to forget, you simply didn't register.  Whilst we may think the whole world is watching us and looking out for any flaw, they're really not. When the grey kicks in, they will treat you as an old person, that is, exactly the same way as they did before.  See 'you're fooling no-one' above.    

Ps.  For anyone still here, apologies, I'm trying to cut/delete a former blog that was abandoned, but seem to be lacking the cognitive abilities, hic, oops, sorry!  

Tuesday, 13 August 2019


In reply to Z, who immediately pointed the finger at the Clintons.

Good heavens Z, you have completely bought into the whole Podesta pizza parlour mythology in the same way as Trump's Deplorables.  Clinton, a retired President has much less to fear than Trump, a sitting President. Note, there are no women in the Epstein case, accusing Clinton of sexual assault and rape.

Trump on the other hand is a Co-Defendant with the now deceased Epstein, accused of raping a then 13 year old.  Her statement is very detailed, graphic and believable - it's a description of behaviour by Trump that is always on display, he even brags about it.  Now imagine a sitting President accused of raping a 13 year old? A case that I hope, will still go ahead despite the death of one of the Defendants.  Just how much will the Deplorables put up with?  

Donald Trump has a long history of sexually assaulting women Z, at least 23 have come forward.  That's a pattern.  He bragged about leering at half naked teenage girls in their dressing room, he believes 'as a star' he has a right to do that. He thinks his Benny Hill like slobbering and groping is one of his most attractive traits.

Jeffrey Epstein was in a prison run by Trump's Justice Department under supervision of Trump's (bent) Attorney General, Bill Barr who is said to have visited Epstein shortly before he was found dead.  Trump has spent his entire career employing thugs and minders to make sure his despicable behaviour is kept under wraps.  See a list of all the Trump aids currently in prison or awaiting sentencing.  He acts like a mob boss, always has.

Ok, that has not so far included murder, that we know of, but when the stakes are this high?  As I said above, imagine a sitting President on trial for raping a 13 year old? Imagine that case is just the tip of the iceberg?  What if they start looking more deeply at Trump's 'model agency'.  Epstein claimed it was he who introduced Melania to Trump, was Melania one of Epstein's girls?

Donald Trump is a desperate man, his life of crime is catching up with him.  It is only the Presidency that is keeping out of jail, once he is out of office, he will have every Justice department in the USA prosecuting him.  He is completely without shame, so as the rest of us ponder on which of his crimes disgraces him and his family the most, he will be labelling himself, quite proudly, as the King of Scumbags.  'No other person (or President) has lied to so many people', he will brag, and perhaps even 'no other mob boss reached the highest office in the land'.  He may even have a book or blockbuster movie in the pipeline, bragging about his life of crime and everything he got away with.  He likes to brag about things he got away with, 'they let you do it when you're star'.  He cannot resist bragging about his ability to con people.  He believes for example that he has Kim Jong Un in the palm of his hand, with promises of luxury Condos all along the North Korean coast.  Kim Jong Un meanwhile, still thinks Trump is a dotard, and is outmanoeuvring him at every turn whilst continuing with his missile tests.

The Epstein case I am sure, is far from over.  Not least, because Trump has made so many enemies within his own administration, the Justice Department, the CIA, he has literally spat on every beloved American Institution.  It would be impossible to count, just how many people are determined to bring him down.  Right now, the walls are closing in and Trump is becoming increasingly more manic.  Even in the midst of a catastrophe, his visit to El Paso, his head was elsewhere, where it always is actually, on numbers, polls and social media hits.  He is so obsessed with his popularity that he can't think about anything else.  Not even the heart breaking tragedy of the poor little mite he and his soulless wife used for a photo op.