Sunday, 31 January 2016


In response to Mimi on MMM

You are a good egg Mimi, many thanks.  Tis true it is the 'blurting out' that has got me into much trouble over the years, especially with jobsworth bosses. I simply can't do things 'the way they've always been done' without question, and they don't seem to like that, but such is life, the conformists usually sided with the bosses and I was out on my ear.

Being ostracised is pretty much a way of life for me, from the playground, to the convent to the office to the world wide web, lol.  The nuns tried to 'cure me' by taking away all my privileges (watching tv, pocket money, going out) and sending me to Coventry for 3 months.  It was the school holidays and not a soul was allowed to speak to me, nuns, staff, kids, my friends (especially) and my own brother.  Happily  big bruv, friends and a very kind 'Aunty' went behind the nuns' backs and broke the rules.  I was only 13 at the time, and if it wasn't for the fact that my head was permanently stuck in a book, I would probably have gone insane.

It didn't cure me.  It made me angry, I spent my days plotting my revenge, just as Scarlett O'Hara waved her fist in the air and swore never to be hungry again, I waved my fist in the air and swore I would never be silenced again.  I would speak the truth, not their lies, and I didn't care about the consequences.  No matter how much they beat me, or isolated me, I was never going to give in and I was going to tell the world what they did! 

Having experienced living in fear, and reading copious books about martyrs at that time, all the punishments hardened my resolve.  I remember my 14year old self, telling the Romeo who broke my heart, 'you can't ever hurt me - I've been tortured by experts!'.  I was a drama queen even then, and was toying with the idea of becoming Jewish (anything to piss off the nuns).  I had just read the heart wrenching and very disturbing Auswitch followed by the very inspiring Exodus and wanted to go live in a kibbutz with a Ben Canaan and fight Arabs, I was gonna get the nuns later.  The whole 'Jewish' thing was short lived however, once people got over the shock of seeing of a freckle faced, stroppy teen with mad paddy hair, wearing a Star of David, I got bored with it.  Very few were interested in my reasons for becoming Jewish, apart from one kindly 'Aunt' who pointed out there was rather more to the Arab/Israeli war than handsome, olive skinned freedom fighters. 

My crime on the 'coventry' occasion incidentally, was taking an unexpected visiting mother into the dining room where her 5 year old son was being forced to eat regurgitated cheese by a particularly sadistic Uncle and telling my own mother where I got my black eye from.    It was listed as 'Disloyalty' in the Punishment Book, a universal excuse for atrocities everywhere as I have since discovered. 

Some of you may wonder why I have argued the case for Andrew, particularly as he has been so scathing of me in the past.  The simple reason is that I passionately hate the words ban, banish, ostracise and caste out.  It is a horribly cruel punishment and rarely warranted. There are far kinder ways to modify peoples' behaviour - taking away their means to communicate being the least effective.  It is the internet equivalent of 'off with their heads'.

I know Candyfloss would argue that I delete posts, I can't censor them btw, I have no way to edit the comments, and it is true, I do delete outright abuse, I'm not going to supply a platform for loons to rant and rave aimlessly.  But do you know what, I very rarely get posts like that these days and can't remember the last time I have had to delete anything.  Every forum or blog finds its own level, the contributors eventually harmonise, they either up their ante (and vocabulary) or they sink to the level of  the lowest common denominator - as has happened with CMoMM and JATKY2.   

My honesty is not intended to hurt, I usually add humour to take the edge off.  I actually think dishonesty is far more hurtful because it achieves nothing and it plants the seeds for more sinister and worrying emotions.  When given the option, most people choose truth everytime.  And it doesn't have to be hurtful, we have the ability to make our words harsh or kind, it is entirely up to us.  We are a highly evolved species, educated way and beyond our predecessors, not only can we speak, we can communicate with thousands at the touch of a button,  but many have still not worked out that no-one is forcing them to read, watch, look at, or listen to, something that they don't want to.   It will make no difference to them, but it will deprive those who want to read, watch, look at etc, said item and there is something a bit mean about that.   

Those who state twitter etc, would be so much better if certain individuals/ or minority groups were removed, are deluded if they think this will give their lives an upward boost.  When you are on the lookout for something to offend you, you will always find it (confirmation bias).  There is absolutely nothing I can, or will do (and this is not directed at you Mimi, you accept, 'I am as a I am') to appease my critics.  Where would a writer begin if 'certain' topics were off limits?  Don't mention suicide in case someone's Aunt's neighbour two doors but one, had a family member die that way?  It reminds me of that Fawlty Towers 'don't mention the war' episode.  The more you can't talk about a person or a subject, the more you want to. 

I think I have probably been trolled more than anyone commenting on this case, yet I still oppose any restrictions on Freedom of Speech.  We all have the right to choose whether or not we want to be offended, I choose not to be.  I see the  anonymous trolls as the inept, social inadequates they are.  They are hiding from me, I am not hiding from them.  Tis true I have developed the hind of a rhinoceros, but I cannot understand how people can be so offended by words they read online.  And I don't understand how removing the writer of those words, would make their lives any better.  The idea of going into meltdown because some Norman no mates living hundreds of miles away mentioned the 'rape' word, is absurd.  There are far greater dangers on our own doorsteps. 

During 'Sungate' lol, I got a taste of what it was to be amongst the world's most hated.  My grinning mush in the centre pages of the Sun reduced one poor anti's mother to tears apparently.  I was right up there with the Yorkshire Ripper, Ian Huntley and Heather Mills.  The hysteria gave me an insight into how Brenda Leyland must have felt.  Many haven't forgiven me to this day, and I doubt they would have forgiven Brenda, had she lived.  The most enlightening part of that experience however, was the shocking realisation that so many of the 'antis' were exactly what the MSM thought they were.  Nasty people using the case of  missing child to go under cover and torment strangers online. 

Having been on the McCanns Blacklist (Death Dossier), I could fully understand why people had to keep their identities hidden (I had nothing left to lose), but I hadn't realised how many were actually using anonymity to unleash all their hatred and hidden prejudices against victims they selected online.  And luckily for them, they quickly found like minded chums more than happy to join in with their malicious games.    As this case nears an end, the different camps will become more distinguishable.   Those with their 'right, dead right' theories have given us every detail of their research, yet they have never told us 'why'? 


  1. The 'death dossier'???

    Lucky you, no longer on it - do you know why you were taken off the list and who else was or still is on it?

    1. The death dossier was a blacklist run by supporters of the McCanns, containing the names of all the critics of the McCanns, together with as much personal information as they could gather.

      It was to be used in the same way it was used on Brenda Leyland, that is the McCann supporters were going to inform the employers, friends, relatives, neighbours etc, of the online behaviour of those on the blacklist.

      The section on myself ran to 100 odd pages, they were/are collecting everything I post online even stuff that was not McCann related.

      The Wiki Hate List as it was known, appeared for several years on the McCann supporters site Stop the Myths. It was whooshed after the death of Brenda Leyland.

  2. Hi there Cristobell, Mimi here.
    I had to write that on MMM because you remind me so much of my friend and coincidentally, we all worked together as legal secretaries ! Although she occasionally blurted things out to the head Partner (and was right in most of our eyes) she just about got away with it because she had been there such a long time and was indispensable.

    I have some empathy with you because I have also put my head above the parapet (not at the solicitors IMA) and stated the obvious in 3 jobs where some managers were absolute dick-heads. I was consequently manipulated out. The unfairness, even at a tribunal, made me ill, all because management all stick together. It`s absolutely vile.

    I`ve probably been tamed more than you - just seen what the world is like and given up. I`ve given up saying some things out loud in inappropriate places but I admire those that do. You`re a fighter - I`m not.

    Although I don`t agree with everything you have written (especially about CF and MMM and also Murat), and certainly don`t have your courage and fighting spirit, I get where you`re coming from. You have insight and a talent with words.

    1. Many thanks Mimi - I am sure we probably have many similar stories about working for solicitors eh? I had a few long term jobs, but I liked 'temping' in London the most, going somewhere new every week, and of course, the 80's was a boom time :)

    2. Mimi, you rock! You are one of the wisest commentators about and a thoroughly good egg. xx

    3. Yes, I'm a Mimi fan too 07:15, and agree she is one of the wisest commentators on this case. :)

  3. My, you do like to think that you're clever don't you? You see yourself as some latter day Joan of Arc brandishing a flag called, 'Truth'( YOUR truth )Just because you move against the tide doesn't automatically make you some heroic revolutionary . Maybe you're wrong and everyone else is right OR are you so delusional you think it's the other way round? You spread dissent on every forum that you lay your pen just for the sheer hell of it. Or do you have an ulterior motive?

    1. If I am Joan of Arc, are you one of the trussed up bishops brandishing a pitchfork?

    2. No. I said , you SEE YOURSELF as a Joan of Arc. Nobody else does. And there you go again, taking the high moral ground . You DO have a thing about pitchforks don't you? Wonder why that is.

    3. 09:02 I see you picked up on the pitchforking, yet passed on the trussing up, lol.

      No, Joan of Arc was an adolescent crush, whilst I liked the idea of leading an army, I wasn't so keen on the spit roasting.

      These days I see myself as more of an old wise woman, I've kind of learned what works and what doesn't and I can laugh about it.

      I did toy with the idea of fashioning myself a 'mentalist', but this has led to much hilarity in my circle, with my sons saying if I remove the last 3 letters, they will go with it. They are currently looking for a third signature on a Sectioning Order. They did at one time force our reluctant pooch to add his paw print, but I pointed out, it was given under duress and therefore not valid.

      At the moment my dreams are vague (I am in a depression), so I see mysef more as a moping Virginia Woolf, than a kickass Katniss Everdeen. Going off track, if I were the mother of daughters, I would put the God awful 'Pretty Woman' on the bonfire and replace it with the Hunger Games.

      My dreams these days vary between drinking cappuccinos with the avant garde in a Brighton café, to taking off Agatha Christie style and writing travelogues from exotic hotels around the world.

      But then again, I still want to fight against injustice and cruelty, I feel compelled to use my knowledge and personal experience to try and help children who are vulnerable NOW.

      Unhappily, I still revert to that teenager sobbing myself to sleep because there was nothing I could do to help the 'little ones', I couldn't even help myself. That feeling of powerlessness and guilt still torments me to this day. As I mentioned earlier, I had read 'Auswitch', and I was horrified that so many people had stood by and done nothing.

      I have been reassured again and again that the horrors that went on in the Convent were not my fault. But if anyone has suffered depression, they will understand, we manic depressives always blame ourselves.

      When we were very much younger, my brother always used to say I would end up as one of those mad old women who wear turbans, use long cigarette holders and drink gin. He wasn't far off to be honest, these days I rather see myself more with a glass of champers in one and a ciggy in the other, rather than having a burning ember shoved up me kilt.

  4. Rofl. adored the death list, does it specify by which method the sentence will be executed? Will it be the pyre or is it suffocation when a certain member of TM simply sits on the victim?

    1. Re the above reply, a death list is not the same as a black list and you are not another Brenda Leyland, however hard you try to give yourself that martyr status. I can well believe the stop the myths site had a 100 pages on you in comments. That is not the same as TM bothering to compile such a file on you and ir's higly unlikely that you would onow what it contains, if it exists at all.

    2. Stop the Myths Wiki Hate List ran for years 06:10 - in fact they were quite proud of it. Jayelles and Tigerloaf especially.

      It contained the names of anyone criticising the McCanns online and it was used to threaten, intimate and frighten off those who questioned the abduction story. Basically, what happened to Brenda was going to happen to everyone on that List. Given the very nature of the List, a suicide was inevitable.

      It wasn't a list of comments 06:10. It was copied and pasted sections of my work online with their own particular warped interpretations, designed to make it look as though I was trolling the McCanns. Their efforts were pathetic btw, that's why I didn't get a knock on the door from Martin Brunt.

      You are the one using the martyr analogy 06:10, Brenda was an ordinary woman who didn't believe the abduction story, as I am, and indeed all the other people who were on their Wiki Hate List.

      The 'List' was such an obvious distortion of peoples' words and motives, I'm astonished that Sky News gave it any credibility whatsoever, the police, thank God, didn't.

    3. You find the fact that the Stop the Myths Wiki Hate List resulted in the death of an innocent woman, roll on the floor funny 18:18:?

      As I have said many times, some of you McCann supporters have no idea how much you reveal about yourself with your words.

  5. Ros - did you have a problem with people "copied and pasted sections of my work" - if you posted the comments - why not accept that you did?

    You describe it as "work" - interesting.

  6. As Roz likes to paint herself as glorious rebel with a cause, that devil may care master of penmanship with a penchant for hilarity but has NEVER been offensive herself, I wonder how she explains accusing people of being child abusers as normal discourse?

    I find it amusing that you Roz, compare people's reaction to you as on a par with the very worst murderers in British history? Do you really think you are that important to people?

    You admitted in that debacle of a SUN interview that you enjoyed being a troll and got a buzz from the verbal fisticuffs. Can you not see you fell hook line & sinker for that set up?

    BTW, it's Auschwitz not Auswitch. That's not being a pedant, it's basic spelling and courtesy to its victims.

    It is obvious that our youngsters are receiving an appalling education ( I understand you were a mature student, so availed yourself of same standards) and if you, purportedly with a degree in English are making such errors I give it about 50 yrs before spelling your own name will win a place at the polytechnic, sorry, rebranded 'university'

    1. I consider leaving young children on their own to go out for the evening, abusive, I think most people do 23:13. If you are referring to something else, my time in the convent has given me a 'sixth sense' when it comes to child abusers, I can see right through them, and they know it.

      You can't blame me for the hysteria of certain antis 23:13, they have been screaming their shock, horror and outrage since this case began. I actually found being held personally responsible for their miserable lives, quite amusing.

      A spelling mistake is not an insult. Do get a grip. Trying to turn it into an abuse of holocaust victims takes ridiculous off the scale.

      I have a BA(Hons)Degree in Humanities, not English specifically. but it may be surprise to you that graduates can and do make spelling mistakes. I wonder, have you ever entered a university or indeed any Institution of Higher Education? Maybe as a visitor? If you had, you would be aware that spelling errors can occur at even the highest level.

      You make it clear that you consider my education and indeed myself, to be inferior. May I ask what it is that elevates you so far above myself and indeed most of the population? Are you a professor, or perhaps the winner of a Nobel or Pulitzer Prize?

      Apart from picking people up for grammatical errors online, what other major achievements do you have? I feel as though I am in the presence of greatness, perhaps you could tell me where I am going wrong, maybe teach me how to write? Better still, show us a few examples of your higher intelligence and superior writing skills?

    2. I have to agree with you on this one too. I have several degrees, and make many obvious spelling errors, when I write "general" information. When I wrote my academic essays and finally a thesis, I would spend hours checking all my spelling and grammar errors; all of which I found and then corrected.

      It seems that the less educated are always those that attack your spelling, and question your degree. I forgot to spell the name of my own daughter on a form the other day, and I know I don't have dementia. It's called having too many things to do in one day.

      "Auschwitz", is, after all a German word. It is simply the German word for the Polish town Oświęcim. Auschwitz was in Poland. If your detractor truly wanted you to offer the "correct" name for the death camp (and not the town), he/she would insist on you referring to it as
      is Auschwitz-Birkenau. That was the death camp's name. However, your detractor really knows or cares about the Holocaust; other than to use it to point to your spelling errors, and to accuse you of insensitivity to towards the Jewish people.

      In fact, many Jewish people might find it less insulting to see the name spelt incorrectly; given that "Auschwitz" is merely the German version of a Polish town. They might appreciate that someone was "bastardising" the spelling of those rotten Germans! If I were Jewish, I don't think I'd really care whether someone got the "German" version of a Polish town correct in its spelling.

      Given that you're writing a blog (and not an academic essay or a thesis) I don't see that it matters if you make the odd spelling mistake. It seems to matter a great deal to those who would appear to be less educated than yourself, and enjoy questioning your level of education. It's fairly clear that you're profoundly articulate, and can write with a combination of humanity, compassion and caustic humour; that's quite a difficult style of writing to achieve. Much harder than correctly spelling Auschwitz.

      I still don't think that Gerry and Kate McCann had anything to do with Madeleine's disappearance. However, as I've said before, I respect that you have different opinions. Your blog is the only so called "anti-McCann" blog that I can read. I wouldn't say I'm pro or anti the McCanns.

      I grew up in a medical family, and I think their entire way of dealing with the disappearance of Madeleine is simply typical of medicos. "The first thing is to the empirical research". When it comes to missing children, the highest academic research had been done by the Amber Alert Organisation in the USA. So, they followed the findings of that organisation. The statistics showed that the more you keep a missing child's picture in the public eye, the more likely you are to have that child found.

      They went jogging because it meant they'd have more energy in order to find Madeleine. That is scientifically correct, so that's what they did. They also forced themselves to sleep for the same reason. The greater the amount of rest, and the greater the amount of exercise, results in a human being having the optimum amount of energy. That's what they needed to find Madeleine, and so that's what they did.

      I grew up with a much more artistic, sensitive temperament to both of my medico parents, (and grandparents), but I understand the way they think. My father was a surgeon, and he told me that, unless something very serious was occurring during an operation, most of the doctors were talking about their golf scores. They're just a different breed Rosalinda. That's my "take" on the McCanns, but I completely respect your right to differ.

  7. Many thanks for your reply Hilary - your own education shines through btw, for a moment there I had to seriously question my belief that the parents were involved.

    As you say jogging, or indeed any form of exercise, does indeed increase energy levels, and following the advice of the US Amber Alert Organisation in the USA is a logical choice for people with logical minds. It may even explain the lack of emotion and the coldness of the parents towards their daughter's plight - but I'm afraid, I am not convinced.

    I can't say that I have ever socialised with any doctors or had any among my circle of friends, other than a lovely doctor from Edinburgh that I once palled up with on a cruise down the Nile. She was terrific fun, she drank and smoked more than I did, and her star turn was a show stopping impression of Elvis!

    I think the earlier commentator has little understanding of education full stop. It doesn't begin and end with school or university, for some, and I include myself here, it is a lifelong commitment. While some might pack their books away when they finish a course, others use what they have learned to go onto further independent study of subjects that interest them.

    My own 'knowledge' is not just the result of the 3 years I spent at University, it is an accumulation of a lifetime of study. Even as a young mum, I would spend hours in library reference sections searching for answers to my zillion questions. My degree did not satisfy my hunger for knowledge, it was quite frustrating actually, because it brought home, quite harshly, how much I don't know, and how much I still have to learn.

    The Arts versus the Sciences, is of course, an argument that goes back to the Renaissance and probably beyond. My sons have no respect for my 'Arts' degree btw, and during particularly lively debates, they usually tell me to 'go hug a tree', lol.

    I can see that doctors are a 'different breed' Hilary, and it could be said that their thinking and behaviour differs from the majority. However, I am not really sure that argument works in their favour. For Arthur Conan Doyle, 'when a doctor goes wrong, he is the first of criminals. He has the nerve and he has the knowledge'.

  8. 'Little understanding of education full stop' Thank you for explaining Roz. I must have missed that lecture at the Russell group uni who obviously felt sorry for me by offering an educationally sub normal like me a place.

    I would like to congratulate Hilary ' I have several degrees' on her excellent use of Google and would say to her, in the same vein as my initial comment to Roz was made, check before you publish because your first attempt to discredit reads exactly the opposite. Your comprehension is no better either. At no point did I mention Jews or holocaust.

    1. You are entirely mistaken "Anonymous 4th February 2016 at 1.30. I majored in Holocaust studies at university, which included Master's thesis on the subject. I don't need to use "google" to get my facts straight when it comes to understanding this subject.

      Only an undereducated person such as yourself would "assume" that everyone uses "google" as his/her source of information.

      Personally, I find it repugnant that you use the most horrendous crime in modern history (ie; The Holocaust) to attack Rosalinda over a spelling mistake.

      I don't have to defend myself against your attacks. I know precisely what my education is, and what degrees I possess. You have attacked the wrong person here.

      My point about you was that you are attempting to use basic typos, that anyone can make, as an argument that Rosalinda is somehow 'insulting' the Jewish race by spelling the name of a death camp incorrectly. Using this kind of major crime against humanity as a "point-scoring" activity is simply disgusting.

      I was simply pointing out that you're one of those people that has to win at all costs; even if winning is putting down other people. You've put down Rosalinda for nothing other than a spelling error, and you're now attempting to put me down as someone who has "googled" her information.

      You are so far off the mar. It merely shows what a sad human being you are. You project your own actions onto others. You can't cope with the fact that Rosalinda is no doubt better educated than yourself, and you feel the same about me, despite not knowing the first thing about me.

      You did mention that Rosalinda's misspelling of a death camp was an insult You may not have mentioned "the Jews or holocaust", but you stated that Rosalinda's misspelling of the town/camp was an insult to those who had suffered there. So, precisely who are you referring to, if not the Jews and The Holocaust? The Jews represented the overwhelming majority of the people who suffered and died in the death camp named Auschwitz -Birkenau.
      I understand that it pains you to be undereducated, and to assume that any woman with an advanced tertiary education represents some kind of threat to you.

      You're threatened by Rosalinda and you want to beat her; hence, you attack her spelling and demean anyone who supports her, including myself. I know one thing for certain: You have no tertiary education and are extremely insecure over that fact! I don't know where you live, but it's never too late to begin a real education. (As opposed to relying on google, as you obviously do).

      Might I suggest that, if you are going to continue to rely on "google", you pay for some of the sites that actually belong to universities that can provide you with facts, as opposed to opinion.

      You're clearly troubled over your lack of education, but it's never too late to start. I, for one, believe in the power of education; hence, I have several degrees, as stated. They are hanging on my wall as I write this. If you were educated, you'd realise that I actually write like someone who possesses "several degrees" and that you write from an emotive point of view that is designed to belittle Rosalinda. I would wager that you are male, and simply cannot bear educated women.