Cynical maybe, but I have had at least reached the 'acceptance' stage of last month's tragedy, that part where I accept there is nothing I can do about it. The heartfelt plea of 'hope' from the bottom of Pandora's box has had the lid shut down on it. We now need a Saviour, but may have to wait another 2000 plus years.
Meanwhile, I will revert to the scribblings of one of my favourite philosophers, Mr. John Lennon. As a small child he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. He replied 'Happy'. His teacher told him he didn't understand the assignment, he told her, she didn't understand life. If I were that way inclined, I would take myself off to meditate at a Buddhist retreat, but I lack discipline and would probably be thrown out within 10 minutes.
In any event, I think I have done enough navel gazing over the course of a lifetime, to truly know what I want. I mean I could kick myself for not knowing it 40 years ago, doh, but there is no reason why I shouldn't pursue it now. More reason in fact, my peers are dropping off like flies - as my dear old Irish grandmother used to say, 'you never know when you might wake up and find yourself dead!'. Indeed.
So this year, this decade, I will unashamedly pursue happiness, which I think will sit nicely alongside my quest for enlightenment. I'm not talking complete hedonism here, well maybe a bit, but I will devote my time to that which makes me happy. Now I have never actively pursued happiness, well not that I have been aware of, so I'm not entirely sure how to go about it. It will begin I think with discarding all that Catholic guilt I had pounded into me in my formative years. The kind of guilt that makes you go scrub the doorstep or wash the nets, rather than settle down with a good movie and a mince pie. That can go. The time has come I think to update my tick list, my list of things to do before I die. Get lost in the maze at Hampton Court is near the top and absolutely do-able, ride a horse across the Sahara (again), remains, drink coffee in the Seinfeld café ditto, but there is new addition - tour Versailles! And of course, get my head down and write a book.
So in this cheery mood, I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year and my hopes that all your dreams come true.