THE HARRY AND MEGHAN SAGA - a subversive view

The Harry/Meghan saga.  I can keep my trap shut no longer!  Meghan is of course a she devil, the cavalier (love that word) discarding of her sick father who doted on her, her entire life, is proof of that.  So too the dumping of her family and friends who didn't fit in with her new 'Princess' life.   She is the epitome of narcissism, she does not have one scintilla of empathy, least of all towards the poor sop who married her.  

Post shit hitting the fan, via the early release of Harry's book in Spain and as the dust begins to settle, commentators are asking, in earnest, whether Harry has anyone close left to advise him.  Someone who cared about him enough to stop him publishing the cringey, toe-curling details that will ensure he has the pee taken out of him for the rest of his life.  No man, especially not a 'vet', calls what they wear around their neck, probably a chain, a necklace.  Naturally, pictures of Harry dressed as the Queen in pearls went up immediately.  And that was just the beginning.   

As someone who has written a memoir, there are crucial things to bear in mind before you begin.  The first, honesty and integrity. Words matter and the written word lasts forever.  Whilst it is an easy way to get revenge, it is more honourable to take the compassionate ground, to question why, in hindsight, did that person act that way.  To step in their shoes for a moment.  And, as my beloved father drummed into me from childhood,  'don't hurt someone just because you can'.  

Memoirs, of the misery variety, which Harry's is, have an expectation of, well, err, misery, which is where I went wrong on the book sales front.  I had found, while digging through the memory banks, that I had a much happier childhood than I realised.  There was no way I was going to portray my wonderfully unique, beloved father and mother as ignorant, feckless or, heaven forbid, cruel.  I even eased up a little on the actually cruel nun and 'uncle' who ran our children's home like a gulag.  They were products of their time, their backgrounds, their own indoctrination.  For me, writing a memoir was a huge learning curve, in a good way, I found out that digging up things that make you feel bad is fecking crazy, digging up things that make you feel good, is a much better route to enlightenment and contentment. 

Revealing your deepest, darkest, secrets in writing, or even in therapy will haunt you forever more.  Save those for drunken sessions with friends who will never use them against you.  Friends who will never say, 'yar, publish that for the whole world to see, especially the tale of the necklace, the frostbitten dick and the 25 Taliban you killed'.  No-one who liked him would ever say that.  Anyone who liked him would have told him that he was handing the media and social media a huge artillery of weapons to use against him.  What a shame he didn't have his family, his friends and all those courtiers around to advise him.  Having had a book published by Random House, I don't know how these awful indiscretions got past his editors and legal readings. But they are paid by Random House, ditto, his agent and indeed himself.  It is the juicy bits that will bump up the sales.  It appears the 'you will be a laughing stock' talk never happened. 

Sadly, I think Meghan had a big, spiteful, hand in the writing of Harry's book.  I know how intense the book writing process is, especially if you have someone else reading and commenting on what you (or your ghostwriter) have written.  Meghan, the eternal English O-level student, would have encouraged him to reveal every tiny graphic, detail he could remember from his upbringing.  Especially, drawing, as much as possible, on his late, lamented mother, there is still much cashing in to do in her name.  

I suspect the hand of Meghan because men don't generally attack other men for their looks with bitchy balding comments, nor do they refer to their neckwear as a necklace.  That's more mean girls than two brothers.  But I can't blame Meghan entirely.  As much fun as Harry was, he always had a chip on his shoulder with regard to the press.  And, now we know, with his position in the family as 'spare'.  His girlfriends also kept dumping him.  From a romantic perspective, the planets were aligned for the meeting of Harry and Meghan, or from a jungle perspective, an alpha lioness spotted a limping gazelle trying to keep up with the herd.   

From all I have read and seen, I'm afraid I do see Meghan as a predator.  She came to England specifically to find status and a rich husband, and with Harry she struck gold.  Money and a title!  Harry's negative traits of self entitlement, and self pity that drove away previous girlfriends (I'm guessing, that and throwing crockery at servants) had the opposite effect on Meghan, not only did she have the same character defects, she admired them!  Nay, cultured and encouraged them.  'Everything that makes you feel really bad about yourself H, just focus on that'.  A bit like his grandaddy going along to Madame Luncheon Voucher for a good thrashing (allegedly).  Sorry about that.  Such salacious gossip  has no place here, added just for the coffee spilling moment.  

From a psychological perspective I don't know if there is any link between emotional battering and 10 physical lashes with a cane at public school.  The 'Madame Luncheon Voucher' affair, where most of the clientele turned out to be ex public schoolboys would suggest there is.  In any event, what Meghan did to Harry is eerily similar to what controlling narcissistic men to their (usually) battered wives.  That is they love bomb them and isolate them until they have absolute power and their victim has no-one to turn to but them.  

Sadly for Harry, the man he has become is a shell of the man he once was.  It's as if all the joy and humanity has been sucked out of him.  He doesn't even know the difference between right and wrong anymore, let alone good taste, bad taste.  He is living in a large mansion in California, not his dream, he wanted to live incognito in Africa. He also wanted what his brother had, a wife like Kate and a big family to meet up with for summer and Christmas holidays, a large country estate, polo chums, shooting weekends, bowing and deference from all around him.  Instead he ended up with his wife's 'Hollywood Wives' dream, of being fabulously wealthy and hanging out with the rich and famous.  The nouveau riche rather than the old families of the landed gentry.  And in California, he is no longer a big fish in a small pond, now he is competing in a ruthless industry, where being a Prince doesn't top talent and hard work. As yet, he and Meghan have exhibited no discernible talent. 

Sadly for Prince Harry, once Meghan had him in her sights, there was no escape for him.  She used every trick from 'the nasty girl's guide to ensnaring a dim witted aristocrat'.  Portraying herself as intelligent (she watched every episode of Jeopardy), a gourmet (she can name popular foreign foods), she is beautiful (she was a suitcase girl on Deal or No Deal), She is a feminist (she hated it). Her biggest hook for Harry however, was her idolatry of his poor departed mother.  A woman with 'powers' brought back the spirit of Diana to assure H&M they were on the right path.  And then Harry takes Meghan out to Diana's grave on the tiny private island on the Althorp Estate, where she laid her hand on Diana's headstone to connect with her.  Dear Lord yes, the big eejit recounts that, frankly creepy visit by the pair of them to his mother's grave. Clearly nothing is sacred, unless you count Meghan who was blessed by the spirit of Diana.  Perhaps they can reignite that spirit with a world tour, once more bringing the spirit of Diana to the masses.  Think ticket sales and merchandise.  

I haven't yet seen Harry's pre book release interviews, they are airing tonight, but it will truly be a struggle to watch them.  Harry is the victim of a narcissist.  He has narcissistic traits himself which probably drew him to her, but of the two, she is the dominant control freak.  She believes she can, through Harry, be invited back into the Windsor hierarchy on her terms.  I'm guessing a castle bigger than his brother's, apartments in London and New York, her pick of the Crown jewels, shedloads of dosch and a fleet of servants.  She is delusional of course, the monarchy have fought off (sometimes physically) the challenges of second sons and foreign she wolves for centuries.  The pair should be grateful they haven't been dragged off to the Tower and drowned in a vat of wine of their own choosing, the fate of one unfortunate second son.  

This won't of course blow over, it will be etched in history forever more, but it will fade away just like the Princess Diana and Paul Burrell books.  If Meghan truly was as intelligent as she thinks she is, she would have known that that the rest of the world and the USA especially are no longer in awe of crowns and titles.  The Duke of Windsor, formerly Edward VIII, did not become the popular global star his wife Wallace may have imagined.  After the initial furore of his abdication, he lived in semi obscurity in Paris.  Sarah Ferguson, who revelled in her Duchess of York title was fortunate to enjoy the tail end of the US's love of British Royalty.  Diana may have toyed with the idea of moving to the US but I suspect Buckingham Palace moved heaven and earth to ensure she stayed in the UK.  For her divorce settlement Diana got £17 million and £400,000 a year while Sarah got £15,000 a year.  A vast difference between the two, explained by Sarah being in the pay of Weightwatchers.  BP probably threw their hands in the air in horror at the thought of the mother of the future heir being in the pay of corporate America.  

Anyway, I will watch the Harry interviews, or at least try to.  I find at my age I am very discerning about how I spend my precious time, my guard is set to zero for negativity and whining.  And should mention, I found the Harry and Meghan docuseries boring. Listening to people telling you how wonderful they are is an absolute turnoff. And here they break that other golden rule of writing.  Do not preach. Readers hate it, they don't want to be told they need to go through the same brainwashing process as the writer in order to be fulfilled.  And if you are going for the 'look at me now' finale, you better be living the dream.  Harry preluded his book announcement with 'not the prince I was born, but the man I have become' as if his journey and transition were a resounding success, when we can see by his pallid, miserable face, that it clearly wasn't.  He doesn't look or act like a man living his dreams.  Hollywood people are not his people.  They don't go out stalking and shooting deer, they don't hold banquets, they don't have Presidents coming to dinner and only on special occasions are red carpets rolled out for them.  All the deference Harry received as a Prince of England.  Now he is a non-working Royal, which sounds almost as insulting as undeserving poor.  

Could you imagine Harry at a cocktail party or a meet and greet, being approached by a non resident Russian Oligarch with a few billion to launder.  'Sorry, can't do it old chap, I'm non-working'.  That's not to say the working side could or should, but that's a whole other nest of hornets.  Sadly, Harry, as a man (common) that he has become, is finding out that his days of hobnobbing with world leaders and billionaires are behind him.  Not only does he probably not get the invites anymore, but no-one admires a man who can betray his own brother.  He ditched his family and his birthright as cruelly as Meghan ditched her father and family.  That's why I don't like them.  If they can be so disloyal and despicable (behind closed doors) to the families who loved them, their public philanthropy and charity is phoney, in my opinion.

So how did Meghan hook Harry.  Meghan follows the philosophy of 'The Secret'*.  That is she has unleashed the power (that we all have) to achieve her goals and desires.  Successful people will tell you to imagine, picture yourself, in the place you want to be and you will get there.  Sounds fanciful, but it works.  I will give an example.  I once coveted a brand new Rover car displayed in our local High Street.  I use the word covet because that was how I felt, I was obsessed with it.  The problem was there was no way I could ever own one, but I did.  I made it happen. Within a couple of years that mental image I had created of myself merrily driving a brand new shiny Rover became reality.  

The 'secret' is not such a great secret.  Most people who use it's powers and techniques are not even aware of it, some might call it ambition.  Once you decide what it is you want, you become hyper vigilant to ways, means and opportunities to get it.  You pick up on them because you have your eye on the goal.  As I say, we all have that power if we choose to use it.  But if we live and breathe that go-getting philosophy we embark on a nerve-racking roller coaster.  How far will we go to achieve our goals?  Are we prepared to be ruthless, to hurt others, at what point do we say, it's not worth it.

Happily most people are happy with a shiny new car or a semi-detached in the suburbs, others want world domination like Putin, Trump and Meghan Markle.  They keep their eye on the goal but they want to punish others along the way.  'Look at me now', is not enough, their enemies must suffer.   See every tyrant and despot throughout history.  

I feel bad now for portraying the philosophy of 'The Secret' as a bad thing.  It isn't.  Most people apply it with morality and reason, they are not aiming for world domination.  To be fair, I am not sure Meghan is either.  Right now she is going for iconic status as a humanitarian/feminist/activist/celebrity, she has given up on the acting.  Dare I say it, she is unfocused.  She is torn between battling for that Princess status, the castles, the jewels etc, continuing with her bland, non controversial, non subversive, podcast opinions on subjects no cares about, or, step over that great big red line and criticise US gun laws, stand up for abortion rights (Roe v. Wade), question the motives of the religious far right.  She and H live in America now, they are the laws they have to live under.   

Meghan describes herself as an activist but she doesn't lend her voice where activism is needed.  She visited the tragic scene of the Uvalde mass shooting, but she did not speak out about the crazy gun laws in the US that allowed this to happen.  That would have given her all the front pages she wanted.  She could have gone on 'The View' and all the late night talk shows.  Why didn't she?  (1)she doesn't know enough to discuss the subject, (2)she still abides by the Royal rule of no politics. I think (2) would result in the immediate loss of her Duchess title.  You can see her conundrum.  

Sadly, I do not think the future bodes well for Harry.  In this Disney movie, it is the Prince locked in the tower and loving it.  'Harold, lower your hair' shouts Prince Willy from below.  'I can't, I haven't got any' then 'no you fiend, let go of my necklace', a sorry saga indeed.  It's like the man in the iron mask, saying 'no, I'm good, leave me here for another 2 decades'.  Harry's mask is his beard, his casual California chic, his weird, woke BLM personality spewing out platitudes that brought to my mind that 1970's 'I'd like to buy the world a coke' ad, where all dress like hippies and link arms.  Now all those hippies wear suits and work for large (and often gun selling) corporations.  Such is life.  When Harry cuts his hair and discards his bellbottoms, there won't be much to go back to.  

I could go on, but I will spare you dear reader, especially if you have made it this far.  My kindest wishes to all.

*https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/1847370292/ref=asc_df_1847370292/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310805565966&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10138006440210790575&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9044987&hvtargid=pla-318206917580&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND A FREE FUN WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT

Several years ago I self published a book called the 'The Reluctant Dieter', sadly it was not a success commercially, but I am delighted to say that it was a success for those who read it.

I wrote the book because I had (in a New Year) decided to take control of my health and weight.  Within 3 months, I lost 3 stone!  Was it unhealthy?  Well err no, on asking my GP, he replied with a big smile, no, carry on with what you are doing!  

My diet book is unlike any diet book you have ever read.  It's real, it's honest, it's like having a giggly chat with your mates, I don't preach and I don't pontificate, I'm all about finding short cuts and lazy options.  In my opinion, if something is difficult or means denying yourself everything you enjoy, you will give up.  

Having been a yoyo dieter my entire adult life, I decided to devise my own diet and exercise routine.  I didn't buy expensive health foods.  I didn't go the gym or the swimming pool, I did the Jane Fonda warm up routine and danced (like no-one was watching) to 80's disco hits in the privacy of my bedroom.  And I walked every day, inspired by Stephen Fry who put his own amazing weight loss down to walking, though I hasten to add, I didn't walk nearly as much as he.  Best of all I carried on enjoying the food I love, just not so much of it!  

Now, several years later, I am pleased to say that the lifestyle changes I made then have stayed with me, though I now allow myself 1500 calories rather than 1,000, a day to maintain my current weight, and the Jane Fonda tape would kill me.  I jest, these days I just walk. Fifteen hundred calories may sound meagre, but I actually eat whatever I want.  If you are eating 5-7 portions of fruit and veg per day, which I recommend, you have little room left for the junk.

Anyway, I hope this lands with a little bit of cheer for the New Year, especially if you are looking for an easy way to lose weight and get healthier.  I am not sure how it all works but it looks as though it is free on Kindle, and I hope readers take it up.  Even if you don't get healthy, it's a fun read and some of the tips may stick - see reviews.  

Anyway, Happy New Year everyone, and my kindest wishes to all.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/RELUCTANT-DIETERS-GUIDE-HEALTH-WEIGHT-ebook/product-reviews/B00RNV3PC4/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_show_all_btm?ie=UTF8&reviewerType=all_reviews

LETTER TO THE FUTURE - THE WEEK THE QUEEN DIED

 I had an idea a couple of weeks ago, to write a letter, or journal recounting the evets of our time, a bit like Samuel Pepys, though I get my information from the news I see and read on social media.  Twitter, for keeping up to date and Youtube for the same reason, but also for all the wonderful documentaries and charismatic vloggers and all their interesting niche subjects.  2022 is indeed the age of information, especially for my generation who's idea of a mobile phone was two rusty cans and a piece of string.  Our first home phone was a party line shared with neighbours we were at war with, not helped by the fact that I was a young teenager who needed to spend at least 8 hours a day chatting to my mates.

I abandoned my first letter to the future a couple of weeks ago.  It was full of doom and gloom as the soothsayer in me predicted all sorts of Walking Dead situations in the weeks and months to come.  We have already lived through one plague and I suspect more are on their way. But to be fair I was morose at the time and I had recently watched Prince of Egypt.  Ok, maybe not a WD situation, but certainly we are experiencing the rumblings of a revolution.  Without going all preachy again, the greed of the billionaires will force millions in the UK into food and energy poverty.  Something that should be unheard of this 21st century.  As in the French Revolution of 1789 and the Russian Revolution of 1917, something's got to give.

But I will stop from that political vein before I start throwing rotten tomatoes at myself.  This week has been ultra dramatic.  The old Queen, Queen Elizabeth II, who has been on the throne for 70 years has passed away!  It's the biggest news since Princess Diana.  QE11's son has instantly become King Charles III, lots of people are remembering their history lessons and saying The Queen is Dead, Long Live the King, in the same breath I believe.  A precaution previous monarchs had to take in case some upstart from another branch of the family decided to ride in with an army and steal the throne.  The Normandy branch were known for it.

Suffice to say the throne of Great Britain is pretty secure.  Heirs and spares all over the place.  Princess Diana secured the throne and kept her head, by giving Prince Charles two sons, and his sons have sons.  Now I am not particularly a monarchist, though maybe I am because I have always had an intense interest in the Royal family.  I think it started with Diana because I loved the clothes she wore and tutting at the mistakes she made.  Ditto Fergie, the Duchess of York, not because she couldn't wear haute couture but because she reminded me of my schooldays and those bossy, lumbering jolly hockeysticks types who did not share my love of a ciggy behind the bike sheds and talking about boys.  Oddly enough, in later life, those 'types' became great pals of mine, always good for a craic.

When I heard the news, well actually I was watching it all day, I had feelings of shock, and indeed sorrow, that I never expected to feel.  I have joked about this moment for years, well complained that she would probably outlive me, never thinking it would come.  I kind of felt sorry for Prince Charles, because he has spent a life in waiting and that is probably how history will remember him.  To his credit, in these days of mourning he has done a whistlestop tour of the United Kingdom and attended non stop church and cathedral services.  Actually the whole of  the Royal Family have been very much on show, including Prince Harry and Meghan (more on which later).  The age old pomp, ceremony and pageantry are very much to the forefront at this time, reminding us of the long lineage of our rulers.  I am actually quite proud of it all, the UK is putting on an amazing spectacle for the world, a reminder of not only our past, but theirs too.   

But I wanted to tell you what it feels like at this time.  It compares I think to the madness that took over the UK in September 1997 when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash in Paris.  The country was in shock, probably more so than now because Diana was only 36.  The feeling now is more that it is the end of an era, a very long era.  Most of us have not known any other monarch, Queen Elizabeth had been on the throne our entire lives.   No matter what our feelings towards the Monarchy and all the sycophancy that surrounds it, it is impossible to be untouched at this time.  We are caught in a moment of history.  We have lived through and are at the end of the second Elizabethan age.  Historians of the future will look back at the week of September 2022, and they will mark 1952-2022, the rule of Queen Elizabeth as a time of what?  Great change, democracy, fairness and equality?  Debateable.  We still have a huge divide between rich and poor, bigger I would say than during the Victorian Age.  Some would argue that the monarch has no say in the way in which the country is run.  But I disagree.  The Queen is often recited as being wise, informed and diplomatic, her experience is legendary, meeting 15 Prime Ministers and virtually every world leader.  She could, for example, have told Liz Truss (new PM) not to allow her people to freeze and/or starve to death this coming winter.  

But tut tut to myself here, I did not mean to criticise at this time.  I've actually grown quite fond of the Royal Family in recent years, I especially love the birthday pictures of the little ones taken by their mum Princess Catherine.  My whole perspective changed when I saw the then very elderly Queen visit a hospital in Manchester caring for the young victims of a devastating bomb at a Ariana Grande pop concert.  The effect this sweet old lady had on the patients and nurses was miraculous.  It was at that moment 'I got it'.    

Whilst I hate to end this missive on a sour note, the well oiled Royal PR machine failed to take into account the human factor, that is a very pampered, grumpy, 73 year old man surrounded by servants and sycophants who do literally everything for him!  From putting toothpaste on his toothbrush to ironing his shoelaces.  I also hear his staff have to cook six boiled eggs for his breakfast to ensure he gets the correct consistency.  I can't help thinking that in order to live that kind of life, one, hmm, would have to enjoy demeaning others because that's how the whole Master/Servant thing works.

OK, so he's a dinosaur, a relic from a bygone age, but the whole bottom teeth baring at lackies and temper tantrums, yes plural, was shocking.  I am referring to King Charles III's inability to operate a fountain pen or move an inkwell on his own.  In the words of Mya Angelou, 'when someone shows you who they are, believe them', I now suspect the purveyor of the dodgy fountain pens has now been dragged off to the Tower!

I should before I go, mention the dissent among the masses.  And there is some.  A bit of booing here and there, and few signs demanding the abolition of the Monarchy and 'Not my King'.  It is stamped out immediately with offenders being marched off in handcuffs.  There is a real clampdown on any signs of dissent, it's almost as if the entire establishment are insisting we all mourn and we all cheer the new King.  

I suppose those looking back at these times will consider just how stable the monarchy is at the end of a long reign.  While republicans might have put up with the Queen due to her longevity and distance from our lives, a new King might upset the status quo.  Maybe that is why all the Windsors are out and about meeting the ordinary people.  King Charles needs to capture that goodwill the Queen had enjoyed, he and  his heirs need it if the Monarchy is to survive.  

Now I really will say ttfn (ta ta for now).  There is a big week ahead with lots more ceremony and pageant to come.  It will be the biggest gathering of world leaders, well, ever.  Which begs the question, how does an Emperor greet a King?  Who bows first? I mention this because the Emperor of Japan, Emperor Naruhito is among the world leaders attending and of course the President of the USA, Joe Biden.  I'll give a full list of attendees in my next instalment.  For now, just those two names send a shiver down my spine and I feel quite chuffed on behalf of the Queen and her family that the world treated her with such respect.  My kindest wishes to any reader who has got this far - take care.

BEING OVER 60 ISN'T SO BAD

A year ago I was singing 'will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64'.  This year I am feeling even more trepidation as I approach 65.  I was filled with the hebee jeebies when reaching Sixty because that I would say, is definitely the turning point, when you go from middle aged to just plain old.  Sixty five is when you start to shrink away, both literally and figuratively, I have lost both height and weight and I think an invisible veil is starting to engulf me in.  

I can't say I have ever thought about what I would be like as an old person, I knew I would never be a regular little old lady with a cauliflower perm, a battered old purse and a shopping trolley, but yeah, ha ha, I am.  Except for the cauliflower perm.  But with the addition of a magnifying glass, because I cannot read food labels. when Smart Arsed Son first saw me use it, he asked 'anything I can help you with Sherlock', he has a gag for every occasion.  Seriously though, I need to know how many calories are in that large cream eclair before I commit.  You see I'm not all bad, I balance it out by eating a piece of mackerel and a handful of rasberries.   Not together obviously, but both look good in my daily eating record, yes I do that now, I keep a food diary.  Whilst the eclairs may congregate with the doughnuts around the waistline, the fish livens up the brain and the rasberries flush it all out.  There is a method to the madness.

I was going to have a moan about getting old and decrepit, but the truth is, I am quite enjoying it.  My flowing blue locks are fooling no-one, I'm perceived as ancient, but I'm OK with that.  The world feels like a much kinder place, young people go out of their way to be helpful and polite.  I am on the outside edges of the hustle and bustle and phew to that. I don't know how I managed as a single working mum, but I did, and I survived it and much, much more, but I'll never forget the nights I cried because I had to stay in.    

Now, at 65 I am able to do whatever I want whenever I feel.  Unfortunately the good Lord, if there is one, chucked we over 60's a curved ball.  He (it had to be a man) gave us all this freedom when we are least likely to enjoy it!  Sure we can go to wild parties, do drugs, and stay out all night, but we don't really want to.  My list of things to do before I die is shrinking.  I have had to strike off ketamine and MDMA but I'm still up for the mushrooms.  I jest, my weekend with Jack Nicholson getting drunk and high in New Orleans, has been downgraded to a night in with a movie (one of his obviously) and a cup of cocoa.  Nah, scrub that, loads of drugs and a medic on standby.  The wicked little devil became my kind of guy when he told Cher to leave the dishes and laundry because she would have to do it all again 'tomorrow', made me swoon.  

But I digress.  Getting old and decrepit can be cool.  No rushing for trains, no arsehole bosses, no boring filing and no paper cuts - jeez they hurt.  In the past few months I have been able to watch all the ins and outs of the Johnny Depp .v. Amber Heard trial and I have to say it had more drama, conflict and pathos than any movie or drama I have ever seen.  Being an old hippy chick, I am naturally aligned to Johnny Depp, he is unique and kind of crazy.  I don't know what it is with brilliant men, that they can be so easily swayed by a pretty face, but they can.  Arthur Miller/Marilyn Monroe (though she too was brilliant in her own way), Charlie Chaplin and his penchant for young starlets.  Some might say they ask to get taken for a ride, but it is a human trait.  History is littered with tales of young scarlet women and totally smitten old eejits willing to give up everything for them, see Henry VIII.

Happily justice has been done.  The jury saw exactly what the behaviour analysts, the pundits and we the audience saw.  AH is a terrible actress and violently psychotic.  Johnny, poor sod, was lucky to get away from her alive.  Prince Harry on the other hand has no escape.  When someone starts cutting people out of your life, you are in the hands of a control freak and it is not pleasant.  Harry has a new life, but he hasn't got his old life, the one he clearly enjoyed before he gave it all up for his wife. Ouch, actually a lifetime of ouch.

But back to the joys of getting older.  I love having the time to explore subjects that have always interested me and discovering new ones that have kept me fascinated.  I am still in the midst of my Viking phase, mostly because I have been able to go back and watch the series again from the beginning, this is where the geriatric memory loss comes in handy.  And I have loved being able to, vicariously, visit the most interesting and inaccessible places on earth via intrepid vloggers who always have their cameras with them.  Viva technology say I, who ever thought we would live in such a brave new world eh?

My kindest wishes to those who have come this far, my writer's block, I hope will break one of these days, now that I have the time and 'room of one's own', all I ever wanted.  Meanwhile, take care, thank you for reading.  Would love to hear how being over 60 affects others, thoughts welcome.

LONG HAIR OVER 60 - DO WE DARE?

Well, that's it, finally I have been to the hairdressers.  The no more cutting, no more colouring began with the lockdown, but then just carried on when I realised that long hair is actually far less maintenance than short hair!  Who knew?  I must have spent thousands over the years having my hair done, hair cutting is the one area of my life where I have never economised and I have had some wild and wonderful hairstyles over the years, it's always kind of been my thing.  Some might say, if I had taken as much care with my choice of men as I do with hair stylists, it might all have been different...... ah, such is life.

But little things make me happy, none more so than a great new 'Do'.  I had forgotten the joy and anxiety of going into a hairdressers, fearful yet excited as to how it is going to go.  I haven't been able to sleep since I made the appointment.  I can't forget the one time I gave my hairdresser free rein.  She cut my hair in the style of Friar Tuck, it was the 80's and boxy short hairdos were in.  There were no redeeming features, I could neither brush it upwards, backwards or anywhere other than square in the centre of my head.  The best I could get from family, colleagues and friends, and yes, there were snickers, was it will grow back.  Not when it's above your fecking ears it won't.

But I digress, I get very emotional when recalling bad hair experiences, mostly it has been a joy, in the past I would always go show my dear old Dad when I got my hair cut.  He knew the way to my narcissistic heart, if I was down in the dumps he would put his hand in his pocket for a couple of notes, so I could go and get my hair done.  His knowledge of psychology ran deep.  My next step would be to call my mother to discuss the new do in depth.  When I first went blonde she asked ' what, like Lily Savage?' why her first thoughts went to that extreme visual is mind boggling, but also hilarious.  Thereafter it would be 2 hours on the phone to my mate Big Lynn, she was a very patient woman, and then basically anyone who would listen.  

Keeping people interested in the hair talk is kind of hard work.  I am currently exchanging texts with a friend who's first love is home decor, she is pretty skilled at steering the conversation into lampshades and wallpaper, getting the chat back to my blue hair is proving difficult, it's like a game of chess.  Smart Arsed Son managed a 'yeah, it looks good', but will not go beyond that.  He pointed out yet again that he is not the gay son I had always dreamed of.  Now planning a night out (for my 65th) at a gay club where the shallow subject of hair can be discussed with empaths.  The whole concept of empaths is quite new to me, and I am sure I am one.  Not a wise thing to claim as I have discovered.  Smart Arsed Son has found thousands of new and creative ways to say 'not an empath', which is vexing.

But I cannot complain, I received an abundance of compliments from the young girls who worked in the salon and the stylist who kept using words like gorgeous and fabulous, I felt like a film star!  For anyone who is interested, I got the colour from Fanola No More Yellow purple shampoo (on recommendation of a dear reader) and the Fanola purple hair mask (like a conditioner).  I haven't used anything else, not even regular shampoo, and my hair has been in fabulous condition ever since.  I was advised 'carry on doing whatever you are doing', which is a great thing to hear from a hairdresser.  Also great to hear long hair at any age is OK.   I think back in the 60's you would have been put in a straight jacket, or earlier still, the ducking stool!   I will shut up about hair, a blog on the joys of being over 60 follows:

Sorry Sonia, but no........

 I'm not sure how I ever ended up on the same page as Sonia Poulton one time because on almost every subject we hold polemically opposite views.  I have no problem with people being whatever gender they choose to be, it matters not to me, I actually have a soft spot for those with the courage to be themselves, even if it does mean stepping outside of our traditional codes and conventions.  Most people, myself included, though less so these days, present ourselves as the world expects us to.

To be honest I have not paid an awful lot of attention to what Sonia has to say about the trans community, the men especially, because I look on it as, and I hate to use this phrase; 'fearmongering'.  For myself, I cannot see how someone's sexual identity is in any way threatening to anybody.  I have never been scared to use a public bathroom and I would question is there even one recorded instance of a trans man accosting or assaulting a woman in public bathroom or store changing rooms?  I remember once bumping into a divinely glamorous Queen in a powder room, well it was more of a boudoir, did I feel threatened, not at all, I remember having a delightful conversation about lipstick.  I simply cannot understand why anyone would want to attack the way others choose to live their lives, what does it matter to them? it makes no sense to me.

Next the craziness surrounding Covid-19, the anti-masking, anti-vaxxing and lunatic conspiracy theories she is promoting regarding protecting ourselves.  She and others have forced our, albeit incompetent, government to drop all the defences we had against this virulent disease.  No masks, no distancing, no testing, no numbers, though we do know 4.5 million were infected last week and 368 people died.  That is, we are right back to the days when Covid was at it's peak - and no-one cares.  In 1918, the 'Spanish Flu' came in waves, then it mutated and killed 50 million worldwide.  Naturally, that is a risk Boris Johnson and his mates are willing to take, in their pursuit of even more riches, they have literally made billions out of the pandemic thus far.  Those on the front line, the NHS, the delivery drivers, the food industry, all the people who kept this country ticking over, abandoned as the virus rages.  We are now in the place Sonia campaigned for.  No more protections even if the virus does mutate into something more deadly.  We haven't gained more freedom, we have lost it.  Because those using common sense will continue to practice social distancing, masking, handwashing, and if advised, more boosters.  Those still taking advice from Boris et al need their heads testing.

It angers me that Sonia is using her considerable talents to take on causes that are not only wrong but dangerous.  I am no supporter of this government, but the half arsed effort they put into the pandemic in the beginning was something at least.  Compared to the rest of the world however, the abysmal UK covid stats were among the worst.  The big question I would ask Sonia?  How can she look at the dischevilled oaf that is Boris Johnson and the demonic coke heads that surround him and imagine him putting together some kind of Dr. Evil plot?  The most inept government we have ever had taking over our minds, lives, etc, now that is laugh out loud funny.  

Thus far, I can look on Sonia's views with a raised eyebrow and a few ffs, but but her latest comment on the invasion of Ukraine offends me on every level.  How on earth has she bought into Russian Propaganda?  We live in a time where news is instant and brought to us by people who are 'on the spot', both the press and the public.  We have factual news from every angle.  It is a cruel and wicked lie to suggest that footage of mass graves and bodies in the streets are staged.  That kind of cruel propaganda is expected from Putin but not from a British journalist.  Since the Russian invasion, I have followed a number of individuals, Ukrainians, who are on the front line, literally posting from a war zone.  How they are surviving on little rations and the devastating sights they are seeing.  The horror is very real to them as Sonia would know if she did a little more research.  I am also following Russians, escaping Russia, or reporting how the sanctions and the actions of the West are affecting real Russian citizens.  

Putin is a monster.  He is sending mobile crematoriums along with his tanks, to cover up the evidence of his war crimes.  No-one thought Hitler could be topped, but Putin has found a way.  This is a war where we hear the voices of the real people who are on the ground, Ukrainian and Russian.  There is no excuse for any connected Western journalist to promote clearly fake Russian propaganda.  For me it brings to mind Lord Haw Haw's 'Germany Calling', and that's a road no sane journalist wants to go down.

Sonia asks if any other President has spoken at the Grammys in wartime, a silly question in my opinion.  The world has moved on considerably since the Grammys began (1959), it is possible now to transmit information globally, in real time,   As a child of the 60's, WWII was still fresh in people's memories, especially the horrors of Hitler's death camps and crematoriums.  The top phrase at that time was 'this must never happen again'.  

We now have the technology and the will to record and report war crimes to a wide audience.  Yes, it was rare, in fact a first, for a President to speak at the Grammys, but President Zelensky was invited because he is a hero.  He is fighting for freedom and democracy, beliefs I would have thought were in line with Sonia's.  It is right that the world should be applauding him and helping him.  There is no moral dilemma here.  History is littered with heroes and villains,  and the heroes usually take unexpected and unconventional ways to win their battles.  This is a war of propaganda as much as it is a bloody battlefield and Putin is pretty good at brainwashing, he has had over two decades to practice.  Giving Zelensky a spot on the Grammys is one of the best weapons the West could have given him, without kicking off WWIII.  He spoke directly to the pop stars and musicians who are worshipped by young Russian people.  How can Putin top that?

 I have to admit that I am struggling at the moment to understand why Sonia and a handful of people on the Left that I used to admire, are taking the 'fake news' path on Russia's invasion of Ukraine, is there something I am not seeing?  

BLAIR AND STARMER, FEMINISM, UKRAINE, END OF WORLD PACK

I used to be a proud, fully paid up, member of the Labour Party many, many, many moons ago.  I even supported the smartened up New Labour of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown who eschewed the regulation corduroy trousers, pipe and no time for grooming look of the Left.  Looking like the working classes was getting Labour nowhere, all those Labour had lifted into the middle classes had no time for activists, they wanted their leaders to be like the Tories for a snapshot, but a little less cruel.  It was a time to cosy up to the bosses, be more like them.  

It worked for a while, in fact Blair and his descendants think it was a success and is working still.  Basically the ideology is give the bosses everything they want and they will stop treating their employees like shit. Bosses and workers, standing together, friends.  If peace is what you want, in the sense of workers not complaining, then yeah, it works, full appeasement usually does, but the rights of those workers have been decimated.  There are now zero hours contracts, firing and rehiring and a subjugated workforce with few, if any rights to protect pay and jobs.  See P&O Ferries.  Brexit helps too, no more pesky European Courts to point out Britain's human rights abuses.  

Sadly, Keir Starmer is of the same ilk as Blair, he wants to be everyone's friend and he is happy to stab workers in the back.  Starmer wants whatever unholy alliance Blair made with elite to continue. Maybe, like Peter Mandelson, he hopes one day to drink champagne on an Oligarch's yacht, or have a play day with Jeffrey Epstein.  

History repeats itself over and over again.  Tyrants know that if they impoverish their subjects, create mass unemployment, all the advantages lie in the hands of the employers, they can pick and choose and the workers will fight each other.  Cute, bumbling, laddish, Boris has broken the back of the working classes, He has taken the power of the many and given it back to the few.  How the fuck did that happen? Historians will ask centuries from now.

My heart was broken when Jeremy Corbyn did not win the 2019 General Election, it felt like the last chance, in my lifetime, of seeing a progressive socialist government that would invest in people, the NHS, infrastructure, education, science, the arts, the caring professions.  Imagine all those billions salted away by the greedy being invested in this country?   

Now I am politically homeless.  I simply cannot, cannot, vote for a party that has Keir Starmer, Wes Streeting and Jess Phillips.  Jess Phillips makes me hate the fact that I ever described myself as a feminist.  Feminism these days seems to be all about being a victim and of all soul destroying afflictions, victim mentality is about the worst.  Telling a woman she is a victim, will, err, keep her victim.  Surely, feminism is about empowerment?  The truth is no-one needs to remain in an intolerable situation.  The choices we make in our lives are OUR choices.  We have no control over the behaviour of another person, none whatsoever, our control lies in how we respond to that behaviour.  That is the limit of our control.  I hate to say it, but quite often abused women believe they can tame the beast, take control, I blame Disney, but they can't.  It is only when they accept they can't, that they can move on. Helpers should be telling them how powerful they are, not how pathetic they are.

Jess Phillips et all can blame men, make them the bad guys for every word or gesture they deem offensive, but hating men is rarely the answer.  I grew up in a non PC age, I worked in London as a 'temp' a different office every week.  Every office had every category of perv and groper, we 'gals about town' would swap notes and giggle about them.  No-one was traumatised.  In fact work was fun, I can't imagine how joyless offices must be these days, I certainly didn't turn up for my love of typing.  And before anyone calls me a wanton strumpet, purrlease, like most women my age, I can turn any man to an apologetic wuss with a raised eyebrow and one word 'Seriously?' 

But back to the present day, I am obsessed with the war in the Ukraine and terrified at how much it could escalate.  Yesterday our cars were covered with red sand from the Sahara, you see what I am saying.  Just how crazy is Putin?  He held a rally for himself, emulating Trump, but as we have seen large rallies are not an indication of overall public opinion.  Trump had big rallies and lost.

From everything I have read and seen, I think Putin has lost.  Not just because his large convoy of tanks is stuck in a quagmire, but because the soldiers on the ground in Ukraine are not committed to him and this war.  Many it seems, are abandoning their vehicles and going door to door begging for food.  Putin was badly advised.  He did not foresee how hard the Ukrainian people would fight.  How can he subdue a nation that refuses to be subdued?  At the same time he must subdue his own Russian people who, it would appear, are openly rebelling.  Today, Russian Cosmonauts appeared in public wearing Ukrainian colours.  Putin's victory celebration of annexing Crimea, was a show of strength, a commitment to his war (not a war in Russia) remains strong.  Putin is not known for putting on victory rallies, so I would say he is in big trouble.  

So those are my thoughts for this week, 19th March 2022, hopefully, I will do this regularly.  My kindest wishes to those who still look in, hope life is treating you well.  Who knew we would survive a pandemic only to face who knows what.  I am currently mentally preparing an 'end of world' pack.  It would contain lots of mind altering drugs (obviously), a nice Chablis, blinis with caviar (only had them once and they were mindblowing, or that may have been the shots of vodka that accompanied them).  Desserts, Oooh that is a toughie, I think a slice of Black Forest Gateau, but I do love panna cotta.  Strange how my end of world scenario goes straight to food and mind altering substances rather than a ball of string and a deadly weapon, but there you go.  Take care.