Sunday, 12 August 2012


Time and time again, I have seen women choose a partner for themselves and substitute father for their children, in less time than it has taken them to choose a new pair of shoes.  

Let me put this bluntly, there is a breed of men out there who hone in on vulnerable women and take full advantage of the ready made home and family.  The often make the lives of their step children a living hell.  Especially if they do not adapt to the ideology of their new dad.  It can often be entirely different to the way the child has previously been raised. They may introduce new routines, new rules, new punishments.  

A word of warning, should the odious Toby Young ever be single again, I would advise any woman to run in the opposite direction.  He is man who believes in corporal punishment for kids.  Nice.  

I know this story of poor Tia, is as yet incomplete, but I feel the sorrow is in her short, transient life, a stepfather in one refuge, a step grandfather in the other.   As one person on Twitter put it, she had more parents than a PTA.  

I have written about my own dysfunctional childhood,  and should add, apart from the sadistic nuns and the paedophiles queuing up to be our carers, I also went through 3 occasions, between the ages of 11 and 15, where boyfriends of my mother, attempted to initiate sex.  Yes, 3 separate men, just to be clear, and all transient stepfathers.  They happened during my visits 'home', my mother never knew. I didn't make a big deal of it.  I wasn't harmed physically, I was repulsed, but not enough to cause a scene.  Basically it involved wanting me to watch porn with them, or showing me their bits.  I was a savvy kid, with a gift for the gab, and though they were creeps, they weren't violent,  I was able to stay safe, but I know many don't.

Too many women get all excited about nothing, and then marry him, to quote Cher.  I have related the above incidents, to demonstrate how common sexual abuse is.  However, abuse is not just sexual, it is physical and mental too, and it goes on, not just in the sink estates, but in the leafy Avenues too.  The streets of London, or indeed any major city, are filled with kids kicked out of their homes by their parent's new partner. 

Let's hope that Tia has not lost her life in vain and that parents will engage with their children, listen to them, and stop taking an adult's word above theirs.  


  1. Well said my sentiments exactly, although the media were right in focusing on the missing girl but underlying the whole affair is a broken home, no mention of her biological father and a mere hint of who her mother is. The moment i heard that she went out without her phone, Which is sacrilege amongst the kids and saw that so called step grandfatehr alarm bells were ringing. All said and done god bless her innocent soul and i pray for her family.