Thursday, 11 July 2019


What drives a certain category of men, lets call them 'Gammons who like 'em young' (Gammon is so deliciously insulting), who believe that having a young, beautiful woman hanging on their arm, will somehow make them appear virile and desirable.  That other men will envy them and that other beautiful women will be curious as to what they are missing.  They bask in the reflected glory of the beauty by their side.  

It's all an illusion of course, while certain people will accept the shallowness of the above argument that the contestant with the best arm candy wins.  More will be repulsed.  Those men who seek ever younger partners as they themselves grow older, are clearly not mature or man enough to handle a grown woman who is their equal.  And I am not talking about genuine May/December romances that happen spontaneously.  Many of us have our own precious, 'Summer, the first time - she was 31, I was 17', moments, to look back on and smile.  Some I am sure led to long, very real, relationships, and kudos to them say I, love is hard to find and I applaud them for holding onto it.  I am, kinda, discussing misogyny.

I have, over a lifetime, come to categorise men into two kinds.  Those who really love women and those who do not.  I currently have it around 30/70 at the moment, those men who really love women being part of the much smaller group.  And any woman who has made love to a man who really loves women, will know exactly what I am talking about.  Those who really love women, can be divided into another subsection.  Those who love women but don't stay around long (who shouldn't be missed), and those who remain hopelessly devoted forever more, (who should be rushed to the altar post haste). 

The problem with those who don't stay around long, is, put simply, so many women, so little time.  They are on a mission.  They are spreading sweetness and light in their own seductive ways, and it must said, if you can avoid getting emotionally involved, they are worth the risk.  They will paint your toenails, join you in the bath and make you breakfast.  Every woman deserves the experience, its like all your spa days in one, with a few added extras.  Just don't ever think you can be the one to pin him down.

The hopelessly devoted may lack the fun extras of those who don't stick around long, but they make up for it in mileage.  Their heads won't be turned by a stunning new neighbour or the waitress who brings your drinks.  The only down side, they won't be drawn into humdinger arguments just for the hell of it.  They reply to everything with 'yes dear', a quality that I underrated for many years.  To me love was Marlon Brando in a torn vest shouting 'Stella', the rain pouring down and the pair reuniting in a passionate embrace.  All so they could get back to knocking seven bells out of each other.  Now my biggest turn ons are 'can I get you a cuppa'.

But I digress, this blog began (in my head) with the very ugly and very sensational case of Jeffrey Epstein's arrest.  Epstein and his ilk, are among that category of odious old men who really do not like women.  They are stuck in that pre-adolescent stage of male development where girls are still the enemy and the way to get attention is to pull their hair or flatter them with a patronising comment.  No wonder all the women in the Whitehouse wear their party frocks to work every day, probably in the hope that Trump will tell them how pretty they.  Melania is permanently in a pristine prom dress proving, as if we don't already know, that Melania does no cooking, no washing up, and absolutely never rolls her sleeves up so she can get stuck in.  And Trump, bless him, loves to show the men in the room how charming he can be to the womenfolk.  See Trump as he introduces his daughter 'look how beautiful she is' he says to the crowd and gets a big cheer. Would he introduce Don Jr with 'look how handsome he is'? Ok both are yucky on every level.

Art collectors like the world's acknowledgement of their exquisite taste, the fact that they have the disposable income to acquire iconic works of art.  Trump does it in his own way with his gold toilets and his supermodel wife.  How can we be jealous of him if we can't see his fabulous acquisitions - principally his perfectly coiffured, silicone enhanced spouse.  He actually made her sign a pre-nuptial agreement not to get fat I don't know what he will do with the getting old part.  Among all Trumps atrocities, that odious little snippet has passed largely unnoticed.  Men who really love women incidentally, make no such demands, they love every wrinkle and every squidgy bit as much as they always did. One of the nicest things about couples who grow old together is the kindness, respect and compassion they have for each other, pre nups not needed. 

It is that inability to cope with adult women that drives men like Trump, Epstein and Prince Andrew towards the kind of  'Lolita' parties Epstein had on his island and plane.  Epstein chose women of the younger kind, because women of the younger kind don't have the wisdom or life experience to understand they were being degraded.  They had nothing to judge these aging gropers by. no past real lover of women to compare them to.  Young women, and indeed young men, are very easy to manipulate, they accept, often without question, that the older person knows more than they do.  Especially if they come from a dysfunctional background where moral guidelines are obscured. A confident youngster incidentally, would be more likely to tell these dirty old men to go sling their hook.

I hope on a daily basis that one or all of Trump's crimes will bring him down, but I especially hope that this one does.  Even the most deranged of Trump's supporters must see that Trump has told us in plain sight, that he likes young girls, just as much as Brett Kavanagh likes beer.  Anyone who thinks a Miss Universe owning, model agency owning, and in your face lech, was the fatherly figure at the Epstein parties is totally deluded.  Trump has multiple allegations of rape and sexual assault against him, he stated publicly he found Epstein's penchant for younger women amusing. And this trial will probably reveal an avalanche of cringingly awful detail - especially from all those who were silenced first time round.   


  1. The answer/s to your opening paragraph are disappointingly simple.Take an old man with no looks or money and weigh up the odds of him finding a young stunner of a wife or girlfriend.1,000,000 - 1. Now give him a double roll over lottery win and weigh the odds up ; 2-1.It isn't because the women think the money adds depth and sensitivity to the man, i can assure you.Why do the men do it ? Well, as in the previous scenario, the old man with nothing hasn't had a young woman for decades and knows each day lessens the chance of getting one.If he falls into money and the opportunity arises, he's in.It's biology for him, business for her.Seeing any man with a beautiful woman seems to suggest that the man is 'a winner'.That simple.Think back to Anna Nicole Smith...

    With regard to your second para, I think you need to consider our brave new world.The internet has replaced the real world now.It is peopled by virtual people and virtual sentiment and shallowness.The men who 'don't love women' have increased in huge number, as have the women who con't love men.marriages are wrecked by the facility online to order temporary partners as though ordering a pizza.That's a love of freedom and hedonism, not respect for the opposite sex.Men know it and women aren't stupid.But it remains unspoken. An unwritten contract.long term relationships are vanishing.Kiss a woman goodnight now and you'e both reading your phone messages over each others shoulder.

    You live in an ideal, almost Mills and Boon world.That's not a criticism.I don't think that world is a bad world.Romance and sensitivity are human.But today the term 'Mills and Boon' is treated with derision as almost outdated and archaic.Ironically it's mostly by women who want to be seen as 'empowered'.They can't have the coin land on both sides with one spin.

    It's a sign of the times that we've become cynical about romance and selfless relationships.It's almost become 'cool' to not give a shit.That's 'empowerment' for you.Isolation with the occasional jaunt.

    Personally, i can't stomach ostentation.I think it looks tackier than cheap crap.It's a sign of trying way too hard to be seen as nothing less than amazing.It buries fears deeply and safely away in tombs of Gold.There's no depth. It's all glitz and glamour.And, in today's world, it's never been more obscene as poverty, starvation, poor health and homelessness is spiraling out of control thanks to the decisions of the same new age Roman Emperor Gods who wallow in money and obscenity.

    JFK was the alleged ladies man with thousands of women( who nobody ever names) yet Jackie was at it like a rabbit behind his back and later with his brother and the man who carved JFKs tombstone.Handsome ladies man Bill Clinton let Colombia borrow his now exploded nose as a coke lab while Hilary had sexual liaisons with Yoko Ono.George Bush S and Jr ? I won't even type it...

    This is what their millions and billions do. They fill their pockets and render them morally and spiritually bankrupt.They make good headlines and photo ops for those of us who can't acknowledge that we're seeking a vicarious existence because our real ones been shot to bits by these bastards.


  2. So that's the male perspective Z, a man with a supermodel on his arm is a winner? It's also 'trumpthink', juvenile and shallow. Pre Trump, it was mandatory that leaders had lifelong partners and families, it made them stable, reliable and trustworthy.

    Saying I live in a Mills and Boon world is quite bizarre Z. The only time I ever read M&B was around the age of 8 when I found a stash of them in my Granny's wardrobe. I was a voracious reader even then and the Mills and Boon novellas were as quick and easy to read as comics. I must have been entranced by them, because I read the lot. I can't say they influenced me or even stuck with me in any way, I didn't discover romance until I began reading the Brontes.

    You seem to have a bit of a problem with women who are empowered Z? Understandable, the world has changed, women are no longer compelled to find a husband or be labelled a failure. And that's how things were for centuries Z, Advantage men.

    And you can't blame the internet Z. The changes began decades ago, arguably during the 1960's when women gained their greatest freedom - birth control. It gave women the choice of how they wanted to live their lives and it allowed them to compete for top jobs on an equal footing to men. OK, there's still a long way to go on those fronts, but in a nutshell, women now have choices.

    Your clumsy metaphor implies women can't have it all ways, as men do. Men you see, have always had 'the coin land on both sides with one spin'. They can be husbands, fathers and top executives, and no one would suggest otherwise. But you think it's a bit much for women to expect the same? For shame Z.


  3. You may be cynical about romance Z, but I am not. Go have a stroll through a park, all around you will see young lovers and devoted elderly couples holding hands. Love is all around, it survives even in the harshest of conditions and most difficult of circumstances. And I say all that with optimism, even as a confirmed singleton. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world, as someone once said. Albert Finney I believe. Sadly, I am not among them. I want to live my own life, not be the other half of someone else's, if that makes sense. I acknowledge the English was appalling. But if I'm honest I fear commitment more than anything else. I hate the idea of being obliged to do something, go places I don't want to go, or speak to people I don't want to speak to. A life partner comes with all that 'baggage', and it frightens the bejesus out of me.

    Oh dear, probably a bit too much information, and, darn it, it makes me appear more cynical than yourself! Not to mention totally narcissistic and a tad bonkers. Female empowerment for you means total isolation with the occasional jaunt. Perhaps. But you seem ignorant to the concept that some women, like confirmed bachelors, enjoy the isolation with an occasional jaunt. Women who write, especially. Almost my entire life, I have used the wee small hours, that time during the night when the world stands still, to write my most evocative stuff. For a writer, the best time in the world, is 5.00am Sunday morning, when the only sounds you will hear is the birds tweeting.

    I expect you accept unequivocally that men need 'alone time', but that women might also need alone time is a joke. Apologies if I am attaching to you more dinosaur features than you deserve Z, but you are not yet forgiven for saying that women can't 'have it all'. The plaintive cry of Virginia Woolf's 'A Room of One's Own', seems to have passed you by. It's not isolation if you enjoy it.

    Ostentation, another subject, and another debate. It's easy to laugh at Trump's gold toilets and gold elevators, but in reality he is the poundshop version of ostentation. I have recently been luxuriating in the splendour of Louis XIV's Versailles, over and over, it is enlightening on so many levels, as history always is.

    Kings, Queens, Emperors, have always displayed their power, by displaying their wealth (see Field of the Cloth of Gold). My (nuclear) button is bigger than your button. Bizarre, that what worked in the Dark and the Middle Ages, is still going strong in the 21st century. It's part showing the people what a great King/Queen/Emperor they have, and part vanity/narcissism of said great King. The Donald is now adding good looking, to the compliments he gives himself daily, he is a firm believer in if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth. It is comical to those of us who still retain a degree of logic, but it is grotesque and frightening that those prone to believing any old shite (religion, weapons of mass destruction, McCanns) will so easily buy into it. The shiny veneer Z, washes away, read and digest the Romantic poem Ozymandias, even for Great Kings, all that remains is dust.

    JFK (and indeed Bill Clinton) I would place firmly amid Men who REALLY love women. Not just on their good looks that were average at best, but from the charisma they oozed. Average looking and even ugly men, can possess that same charm. Their sheer confidence and charisma makes them desirable. I doubt JFK or Bill Clinton ever 'moved on a woman like she was a bitch'. They would have charmed and seduced them as if she were Queen.

    But bless you Z, for giving me so many subjects to discuss. I may move onto your next point, lol.

    1. Rosalinda Hutton13 July 2019 at 12:28

      '['But if I'm honest I fear commitment more than anything else. I hate the idea of being obliged to do something, go places I don't want to go, or speak to people I don't want to speak to. A life partner comes with all that 'baggage', and it frightens the bejesus out of me.''

      It seems to me that your true 'core' self yearns for romance.You want to give love to somebody.You'd love that somebody to give you the same.Is it so hard to accept that ? It isn't a perversion. We were born to give love, not seek it.Seeking is a choice, giving of yourself is a human instinct.We come wired up that way.That's why 'people need people'.Think away from yourself for a minute and consider what the world would be like if not only you, but everyone else wanted the same.The whole system of values would be overhauled beyond recognition as would human relations.I think certain religious tomes are preaching this but using icons and prophets to sell it, thus shooting themselves in the foot.Love asks for nothing in return.Not real love.It gives.If you get angry, depressed or worse because the object of your affection isn't reciprocating it's a psychological, not emotional' phenomenon.Your disappointment, and how you read it and add to it, has hurt your ego, not your heart.

      You don't need to compromise yourself to maintain a relationship.Be yourself.That's good enough.If you have to hide some of you away or invent some attributes that aren't genuine, you're not loving, you're playing at it.Working at it.A partner should accept you, to coin an unfortunate phrase, 'warts and all'. You can be you, they can be them, together you inhabit a third person.You both look after that third person.This way, you live your life and they live theirs.You have your personal independence and space and you have time to give to each other and receive.This arrangement shouldn't scare anyone.It's rare.But if you crack it it's job done.

      I can relate to your nocturnal leanings. I've been the same all my life.I like the idea of the chaos going to sleep and the unpleasantness slipping out of view in the dark.Outside it feels like you own the streets( until a copper reminds you that you don't where i come from).I believe it's an attunement with the cycles of the moon and nature's septimal laws.We're tuned to that without doubt.From our embryonic stage.That's why so many writers / poets thrive then.The muse is less capricious in the quietness of night and its cover. It's human to feel this. It isn't gender -bound.It's healthy. As is shadow work.Shadow work is never a bad thing.And, by the way, I didn't say 'women can't have it all'. I said they can't have it both ways when referring to a specific demographic.Not the whole gender.I was talking about those who raise a fist for girl power and the shallowness of men but rarely discuss those who want to be seen as dressing on an old pigs arm for cash.We live in a time of great shallowness and one in which the youth are more impressionable and obsessed by appearance than any other age.I see girls every day, still teens, with 'trout mouth' cosmetic surgery and crystal ball tits.I live close to where footballers visit three times a week.Have you seen Liverpool's owner and his Mrs by the way ?

      Raise a glass to Cleopatra, Ros.She kicked the assesof the Donald Trump and Bill Clinton of her day in Caesar and Mark Anthony.It cost her her life but boy she was kick ass.

      I apologise if this has come across as a lecture or uninvited counseling session.It wasn't intended to.Had it been, I'd have painted your toenails as well :)


    2. I could, and probably will some time, do a whole blog on faux feminists Z. Especially politicians like Jess Phillips, who preface everything they say or do, with 'note, I am a woman and demand special treatment'. I prefer women who take on men as their equals, I hated Thatcher, but she would never have used her gender to get an advantage.

      I also despise those late to the party, like Ivanka Trump. She dresses and acts like daddy's favourite little girl. Her cause 'female empowerment', is meaningless and worse than useless. Those poverty stricken areas need help for the men, just as much for the women. Particularly in patriarchal societies. Families support each other, offering support to just one gender is divisive (like father like daughter). In one of her latest tweets, she states Afghan women should be at the peace talks. Displaying her absolute ignorance of the culture of the region, and that her one tweet will change thousands of years of Islamic culture. If she is now the US foreign secretary, the cringe moments will only increase.

      I've read what you have said with interest Z, nothing I haven't contemplated before, I have literally spent a lifetime navel gazing. Unfortunately, the sheer terror I have at the thought of commitment keeps me semi isolated. I'm like Seinfeld, I have a small group of friends and there's rarely a vacancy. Each of my friends has different qualities that I like and enjoy, but I have yet to find one person with all those qualities. Though having said that, I am not sure I would be enamoured with a guy who could spend all evening discussing shoes and cosmetics.

      Finally on the painting of toenails front, if I had my time again, that would be in my top ten questions for potential partners. My actual fantasy was a guitar strumming Rastafarian with dreadlocks who could roll a spliff with one hand, on a secluded beach in Cuba. A girl can dream, but what ho, I realise I must lower my expectations these days, I'll give up the beach in Cuba, but the dreadlocks and toenail painting must stay!

      Oh yes, if I were young and on the prowl again, I would have a whole new set of ground rules! If I knew then, what I know now! First would be the tick box list, 10 questions they must pass before moving onto any of the next stages. I used to dump guys for the silliest and most trivial of reasons, not shaving properly, wearing all denim, even they way they held their cutlery, were all things that could have been stamped out. Groping and leching both you and every woman in the immediate vicinity is lifelong and incurable. Every woman should draw up a list with their own non negotiable demands. They should aim for a 10 in all cases, but passes can be given if subject is especially hot and irresistible or can be categorised as a non committed fling.

    3. I find it quite bizarre that so many women pay less attention to choosing a life partner, than they do to buying a house, or in some cases, buying a dress. I have friends who picked up men in nightclubs who simply never went home! Yet these same friends will spend an hour or more scrutinising a potential new coffee cup in a pound shop. If I were to write my own book of advice, I would advise young women, and indeed young men, to start out with a list of exactly what they want. I think the difference between successful and unsuccessful lives, is that the successful group start with a plan, and stick to it.

      But I am waffling, which is good. I have had 'writers block' for quite some time now. I cannot tell you how frustrating and painful that is, writing is my release, my daily session with a therapist. While I struggle to find the perfect words, the perfect way in which to put a sentence together, my demons are kept at bay.

      If I were a musician, I would be composing a melody. I want my words to sound the same in my readers' heads as they do in mine. I not only want to write down what I think, but I want to impart the knowledge I have acquired over the years. I want to share all those moments of enlightenment that I have personally experienced. It is vain I know, to think people want to read my words, but strangely they do. Not only because I go against the normal codes and conventions, but because I am able to say out loud what others think. Especially those who suffer from manic depression.

      ….. but now you have me talking Z, and for that I thank you. It is like being released from a tower, you are my Shrek!

  4. Rosalinda Hutton13 July 2019 at 11:10

    ''So that's the male perspective Z, a man with a supermodel on his arm is a winner?''

    Unfortunately, yes it is. It isn't mine.I think it's pathetic.I also believe most of the shame lies at the feet of the women.It's obvious what the man's in it for.Therefore, it's obvious what she is too.All relationships are based on an exchange system.A couple are running a joint account.Both are supposed to put in and both can take out.When one puts almost all into it and takes little out and the other puts little in out takes what they can get, the negative equity eventually destroys the relationship.Obviously I'm not discussing a bank account here. Other things are considered 'currency' in a relationship.

    When an older, conventionally unattractive man, or one reputedly unpleasant piece of work is seen publicly with a stunning young woman decorating his arm, what are the men her age doing ? You know, and I know, it's nudge nudge wink wink and 'lucky b***d' kind of remarks accompanied by that male 'knowing' smirk. The more cynical of use comment 'blimey he must have a huge wallet''.

    I'm reminded of the famous iconic mock chat show 'Mrs Merton.Interviewing the attractive eye candy magicians assistant Debbie McGee about her career and mariage . @@Debbie, what first attracted you to Millionaire Paul Daniels'. A stunned silence lasted a very long 3 seconds before the audience caved and burst out into laughter as poor Debbie blushed.To be fair, I actually think they were the exception and genuinely loved each other. Then I look at Rupert Murdoch who was born old and ugly with a repellent persona and never improved.How old is he now 123 ? He's married Texan ex-model and celebrity bed sport, Jerry Hall.She'd no spring chicken but still scrubs up well and towers above the dried prune that is her husband. How old is the latest Mrs Jagger ?Or Mrs McCartney ?Look at Charlie Drake and Charlie Chaplins history with ''women''.

    When i say the opinion shared i that the man is a winner, i mean, to be clearer, 'a success'. He has the woman on his arm that younger, fitter men could never get.Like everything else in his life, he saw what he wanted and got it.It's a close relation of the house and car status symbols. They suggest success( ego those who can't achieve the same are lesser men or failures).It's all appearance over content.Not just regarding the individuals involved in the relationships, but in the 'peacockery' involved in the worshiping of the so called 'success' of the man and the celebrity of the woman.Scratch the surface and there's just a hole.But we don't scratch.There's too many other stories and pictures to look at.


    1. 'towers above the dried prune that is her husband', that literally had me laughing out loud Z. It is my birthday today and I am off to a comedy club this evening, that big giggle was a great start. Many thanks :)

    2. very welcome'll probably be home and drunk by the time you see a belated happy birthday xx


      ( and if you find a man on your night out, it would only be fair to give the details here. In fact, it would be rude not to ;)

    3. Lol Z, no I didn't 'pull', but a rather charming Italian restaurant owner said I had a beautiful smile. He was trying to woo us into his restaurant at the time (it worked) but I'm going to take it.

      It was my first 'big night out' since taking the decision to 'ditch the dye', transition to grey, become a silver (foxy) lady. Trivial in the whole scheme of things, but a life altering decision for me, and I suspect many others when the time comes.

      Even though I know 99% of people are thinking about themselves 99% of the time, I still think they are pointing and laughing at my roots. My hair has reached a stage where no-one other than perhaps a coroner, is allowed to see me and it usually means I am at the lowest point of a crippling depressive episode.

      But the opposite is happening, if I were in a closet, I am now out of it. I am wearing my silver with pride, I am even styling my hair so more of it shows. I am on course to be a platinum blonde and I'm loving it! It was a colour that was a step too far when I was younger, but one I secretly longed to try. I'm not a believer as we all know lol, but I do think on occasion the good Lord gives me a nudge towards my secret dreams unbeknownst to myself.

      I am keeping a photo diary of my journey, mostly for myself it must be said, I am finding it fascinating checking new growth each day with a magnifying mirror. As you and my regular readers will know Z, my OCDs can apply to literally anything, be it a quest for knowledge, the perfect quiche, or beautifully coiffered hair. My hair could actually write an epic memoir of it's own. The Ups Downs and the Bouffants.

      But I digress, I am toying with idea of sharing my grey journey on here, but would it be too personal, a step too far. My OCDs can at times be pretty niche, but then again it's 'the way I tell 'em', that might click with a bigger audience. The pictures though, may leave me way too vulnerable. Don't do it, say my loved ones, but I have a political feminist message to send say I, then on your head be it, say they. What a dilemma.

      I'm kind of emboldened by my trip to a comedy club. A couple of times during the show I was tempted by the 'open mike' and the large pink gin I was drinking, to jump on stage, point at my head and say, 'yes this is intentional, anyone got a problem with that?'. It was that kind of revolutionary atmosphere and I was getting in the mood.

      But I am waffling. This afternoon I out for 'afternoon tea', at err, should I say, a more refined establishment. Sadly, I am still in 'rebel' mode ha ha, so I will report back :)

    4. Well....

      I think, having read all of that, you'll be reasonably comfortable sharing your innermost on here.OCD apart. I recommend saving the post for two days where you can't see it.Then look at it fresh in case there's am ''oh ffs did i say that'' moment or two.You know the score, you've no doubt given that advice to many a student with literary leanings.

      You're forgiven for falling for the Italian charm. I used to be Italian when i was about 22 and working in an Italian Pizza place in Devon.Me and my scouse mate looked like brothers.Both young, tan and could pass as we were in an italian establishment and dealing with thousands of ER students from Scandanavia, France and the likes. It was agony : ) We used to stand outside turning on the charm to get them in.My friend thought it was hilarious when the young Swedes couldn't speak a word of English. He'd smile and make italian gestures but make disgraceful suggestions in scouse.It was funny i have to say. But two came in one night, golden blonde and tanned in tight white numbers.He tried it only to be met with an angry '' eh would you like your f**n chin on your shoulder?''. They were two Kirkby girls down on holiday. And when a Kirkby girl makes that kind of threat you don't take a chance that she's bluffing.My mate, John, went many shades of pale thereafter and never tried it again.

      At your age( there's no tactful way of phrasing that) you've lived through a few decades.You have the advantage of living through, rather than reading about, the evolving attitudes and fashions.I do too.I;m no spring chicken-I just look( and walk) that way.Women( and some men) do get down when the grey appears.It's the first few snowflakes on the roof isn't it.A sign of the final page of another chapter and the beginning of another.It's more than just vanity.But, I have to say that there's a bizarre phenomenon taking hold now.Thanks to the creation of Instagram et al, millions of 16 - 30 year olds have taken to self-obsessing.Their insecurities are frightening.Self - inflicted but frightening. Compared to the 45 plus and their worries about their losing battle with gravity and greying, they are off the scale.

      I remember all the panic over magazines putting pressure on young girls to aspire to slimness and perfection. Even though they were worshipping air brushed beauty.Look on the internet and you can't possibly escape the now standard pose; the phone at arms length, the grapefruit shaped boobs out, hand on hip, sprayed on clothes( not many) and the 'trout pout' and comic 'sultry' eyes.If you can't manage it, don't worry,photoshop can.Then just sit back and spend your free time staring at a screen waiting for the likes and 'cheeky flirty' comments. Sad, really.
      The boys are as insecure.They have role models who play football or get idolised online because they were on Love Island or Geordie Shore. Ostensibly a 'just like you guys' show.But theyre all like plastic.
      The young of the present are living / existing vicariously.There's an obsession with the cover of the book and an ignorance to whether or not it has any pages.Don't worry, I'm not going to go on about being sapiosexual-that's my kink ;)

      But, the feminists of today are fighting a losing battle.They too are looking for cameras and TV attention and do the same.Image is everything.Take all the selfie-obsessed girls from 16 to 25 today and try to talk about feminism or aspiration.I mean inner city girls. You'll see feminism isn't an issue.Attracting men or money is.We can blame a minimal amount on social deprivation but that's all.

      Don't panic Ros.You have a hint of Stephanie Beacham about you.And she's had the advantage of a far easier life and access to cosmetic intervention.Watching her in the excellent 'Boomers' i see i still wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.And she's at least 97.


    5. if all else fails..take some inspiration from these words of wisdom.....

      When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
      With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
      And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
      And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
      I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
      And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
      And run my stick along the public railings
      And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
      I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
      And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
      And learn to spit.

      You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
      And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
      Or only bread and pickle for a week
      And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

      But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
      And pay our rent and not swear in the street
      And set a good example for the children.
      We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

      But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
      So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
      When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

      - Jenny Joseph

      I think the first verse alone is worthy of any manifesto ;)


    6. I remember reading that poem many years ago Z and thinking, darn right! Now I read it with a tinge of melancholy, because the underlying message is when you become old, you become invisible. You are the past, everyone else is the future.

      I rather like the invisibility of being older, which is hard to say, because I loved all the attention I got when I was younger! I used to spend two hours every morning getting ready for work, I wasn't going to turn my nose up at wolf whistles.

      But I am philosophical, I was fortunate to have my time in the sun, and I have a lifetime of funny, romantic and downright scandalous stories to relish in my dotage. But I'm not quite ready to settle into a rocking chair yet, lol. The white hair I see as phase 3, a far more powerful phase than the two that preceded it. The fear that needed a fringe and endless bottles of hair dye has gone. I am woman hear me roar!

  5. For the record...

    I don't have a problem with women being empowered. Or men for that matter.I was making reference to the M and B idealistic and stereotypical portrayals of men, women and relationships.I wasn't suggesting you read such guff, i was referencing their view.It maintained the macho strong handsome man and the pretty reserved girly girl who was just wanting Mr Right to picker as the one to have her inner animal released.As time moves along it looks more ridiculous.But the woman in your blog are setting back the equality and power that thousands have fought for for 100 years.They live in the world that suffrage went to war for.They can vote, they can work and they can climb the ladder and be a match or more for any man.But these in your blog references take the oldest shortcut in the world to achieve recognition and the trappings of success( someone else's).That was why i said they can't have the coin land on both sides.And yes, I know men have always had it that way.Again, when young attractive women latch onto old unattractive powerful rich men, the men are sending out the signal that yes, you can still have it both ways guys.Obviously the women, when probed,will come out with cliches about how 'power is so sexy' or some other daytime TV nonsense.It's never 'so sexy' enough for them to use their drive in a world of equal opportunities to achieve their own though is it ?And don't mention any 'glass ceiling' to me.I just don't like that pretentious phrase.

    We still have enough humanity in us to believe and want romance.It's normal, healthy and human. Yes, I'm cynical.I make no apologies for that.But, like it or not, what i see all around me is short lived relationships and dead-in-the-water ones.Everyone's gone to the moon.You can sail your ship all over the waters of the internet and the only thing you won't see 'trending' is love and romance.Dating sites will lead you to a short lived failure.Yes, there will be exceptions to the rule.But the rule is more important.That's what needs to be exploiting the new attitude.

    The JFK / Clintom mythology is an interesting read from you.JFK had the charm, looks and charisma.He also had a horrible debilitating back problem that was doing immense damage to him.As such, his reputation was that of a keen but 'quick' lover, to be blunt.His brother was the 'stud muffin'.He had about 10 kids of his own and he too 'entertained' the first lady after his brothers death.He hated Onassis( much older and remarkably unattractive and wealthy) for spoiling his game.Jackie was the female JFK.I believe she 'entertained' Marlon Brando more than once in the Whitehouse.His report was that she wasn't really experienced but was 'quite keen'.

    Hilary Clinton had a reputation for the ladies too.Bill- he liked 'young'. The common ground they shared was nose powder.

    Women fell under the spell of JFK and Clinton due to the reflected glory.Both men were young enough, attractive enough and smart enough to do well with women without the fancy job.But that job raised the stakes to the highest level.Letting the leader of the free world hold missile talks in your nethers was the biggest aphrodisiac possible.Not deep is it...( so to speak)


    1. I feel I should do a few lectures on the real meaning of feminism, because the actual concept of feminism has been lost along the way. Unfortunately, most outspoken 'feminists' are only interested in feminist issues as they relate to themselves. It's the feminist equivalent of 'Got the foreman's job at last' so fuck you. The main issue for Jess Phillips for example, is the abuse SHE receives on social media because she is a woman. Not, of course, because she is an odious person. I'm not a fan of Janet Street-Porter either. While working class mothers were being given ankle tags for refusing to allow their violent exes to see the children, Janet SP, used her column to write about luxury airline seats.

      I would also like to give a few lectures, or just feckin preach, the absurdity of political correctness and #metoo, which are both sucking all the colour and creativity of our language and our interactions with other people, especially the opposite sex. I feel sorry for men these days, who I am sure, dare not chat up their female colleagues for fear of facing charges of sexual harassment. I was sexually harassed for most of my working life, and on the whole I enjoyed it, lol. The wolf whistles especially. Yes there were creeps and gropers in the many offices I worked in, but they were a joke, not a threat. And I think women were a lot tougher in those days, we knew how to handle ourselves and we knew how to avoid others handling us.

      Though I do remember one time, as a temp, being quite literally, locked in an office with a rather odd solicitor. It was Friday evening and everyone had gone home (or to the pub) except for my workaholic boss and myself. I was getting paid by the hour, which was a good incentive to stay, but the man I had worked for all week with not so much as a single un PC word, suddenly decided what he really wanted to do was chat. He especially wanted to show me a large, rather gawdy, hand carved phallic symbol that he kept locked away in a cupboard. Every time I tried to make a move, he would have an urgent letter to dictate. I can't say I felt threatened or afraid in any way, it was just a bizarre situation, and besides I was still on the clock, lol. Had he produced a bottle of wine out of his secret cabinet I might have stayed longer. I eventually said to him, in the nicest possible way, 'listen Dude (I didn't really say 'dude' just threw that in to make myself sound cool. ''s Friday night, they (on the receiving end of his faxes) don't care, I don't care, no-one cares'. It was harsh I know, but to be honest, I just wanted to go join the others in the pub. There is only so much discussion you can have about a phallic symbol, I think I got as far as 'Gosh that's big'. In retrospect, probably the hoped for response. I didn't know, nor did I want to know, the history of huge phalluses, and for me, Friday nights were party nights and we were in the heart of Covent Garden, even if it did mean giving up double time.

      But I have wandered yet again, just wanted to make clear, that I never saw myself as a victim. I was never traumatized (as if!) and I never saw the flirtatious behaviour of my male colleagues, invited or uninvited as hurtful in any way. Gross on occasions, but so easy to point that out. On the whole, I found it all quite charming, what's not to like about being wined and dined? Lol, I suppose in those days, I was being the arm candy. I remember being mortified one time whilst walking with him, past a building site and one of them shouted out 'what the f*** are you doing with 'im?', I was young and gorgeous lol. If I had had the time and inclination I would have pointed out, that I was trying to change the views of this right wing, conservative 'tosser', over lunch at the Ritz. Yeah, still doesn't sound good, ha ha.

    2. There's a few chapters there..i can feel it...

      That poor man.It's pitiful when you get a young attractive busty secretary to yourself and the only phallus you dare whip out id from a cabinet.There's a tale there. mad man. h ewanted you to have a sort of 'mini awakening' and his jolly would have been listening to you talk about it and watching you.An 'eyeball merchant' as we used to call them..

      I think feminists need to understand that God or Mamma nature dereed that men and women are as a plus and minus; an 'x' and 'o'. Men didn't decide it.And if a man offers to open a door, carry your books or let you enter a room ahead of him, he isn't making a statement about a woman needing him or needing help, he's using something called manners.And a whistle or wink is intended as a 'looking good' compliment, not a vocal sexual assault.If a woman doesn't like compliments and attention from men because she looks attractive, then, don't spend time making yourself attractive.As long as men look and don't touch nobody dies in the battle.

      A relationship can actually work by accepting we're complimentary halves of a whole . It's not rocket surgery.

      Women can and do match men or better them today.They have the same rights. 100 years isn't that long if you consider the contrasts now.

      Snowflakery is spilling into every area of everything now. People are sat like birds of prey looking, waiting to pounce on a wrong act or word then go bragging to fellow snowflakes and posting it online for likes.Arseholes.

      A lot of the so called battles of the sexes could have been easily resolved by calm reasoning and debate( and common sense).But the anger was /is the fun apparently...


    3. Nothing wrong with charm, courtesy and good manners Z and I have always been impressed with men who open doors, pull out a chair for me and, ideally, go get me a large pink gin, lol. A lot of points are lost if they only get a single, ha ha.

      I once had a delightful treat - tea at the Ritz. It felt as though I had been taken back in time to a more courteous age, where even insults stay within the bounds of polite society, a drawing room in a Jane Austen novel. Quite exquisite. I value good manners above, well everything. Good manners and confidence and are the best gifts any parent can give to a child.

      Viva la difference say I. It's fun being a girl. I love make up, hair, fashion, lotions and potions that smell gorgeous.

      I've always been a feminist but I have never wanted to be like a man, because I have never felt in the least bit inferior. In most cases, I am much smarter, it just took me a while to realise. But I suppose I got as much fun playing the helpless female as the man did as the hunter/gatherer
      /protector. We, all of us, have played these games since Adam and Eve. It is possible that I could use a drill and put a shelf up, just as it's possible for a man to iron a shirt.

      The battles will go on Z, but ancient man (non shirt ironers) are becoming relics of the past. Young women demand 'new men', that not only change babies nappies but share their PMT. It's the young men I feel sorry for.

  6. "It Sure Looks Like Jeffrey Epstein Was a Spy—But Whose?"

    "What then can we conclude at this point? It appears that Jeffrey Epstein was involved in intelligence work, of some kind, for someone—and it probably wasn’t American intelligence either. The U.S. Intelligence Community is lenient about the private habits of high-value agents or informants, but they won’t countenance running sex trafficking rings for minors on American soil, for years. While it’s plausible that Epstein was sharing some information with the FBI—many criminals do so to buy themselves some insurance—it’s implausible that he was mainly working for the Americans.

    Who are the suspects then? It seems awfully coincidental that Epstein’s best pal and business partner for decades has been Ghislaine Maxwell, the British socialite and daughter of the late Robert Maxwell, the media mogul who died under mysterious circumstances in 1991. Something of a Bond villain turned real life, Maxwell loved the limelight, despite being a swindler and a spy. British counterintelligence assessed that Maxwell was working for the KGB, while pervasive allegations that he was working for Mossad too are equally plausible.

    Since the lines between Russian intelligence, Israeli intelligence and organized crime can get remarkably blurry in practice, as I’ve explained previously, assessing whom Epstein’s been working for may prove difficult to answer with any precision. But we have a suspect list to start asking questions.

    What’s not in doubt is that a sex trafficking ring centered on minors, which involved numerous global VIPs in compromising situations, would be of high interest to quite a few intelligence services. The Epstein saga seems certain to get even more unpleasant and interesting."

    1. I agree, the Epstein case may well be the 'big one' - not only a threat to Trump but to Bill Clinton, and it's said, a number of A list celebrities.

      As for Epstein being a spy - I caught part of an interview with Vicky Ward, a journalist for Vanity Fair, who investigated Epstein over a decade ago. He was definitely not a 'Hedge Fund Manager' as he claimed. I didn't see the whole interview so I don't know where Epstein got his money, but he copied his friend Trump, and opened a model agency, bringing in young undocumented girls from Eastern Europeans. Illegals, Trump would call them, if they were brown.

      Happily, there are so many prosecutors and journalists out to get Trump, no stone will go unturned. Whilst we are used to scandalous headlines every day, these new revelations, and they will be new, because they were kept under seal for 12 years, will take Trump's crimes to a whole new level. Epstein had cctv cameras all over his homes and a kept a library of thousands of pictures - he undoubtedly has 'kompromat' on Trump, Trump is said to have attended a party with Epstein, where it was just the two of them and 28 girls.

      It won't just get unpleasant, I imagine it will get downright ugly. Trump is already claiming that 'he was not a fan' of Epstein and going through his usual 'I don't know him' Judas routine, but he is on record claiming Epstein as his friend.

      Epstein, like Michael Cohen before him, will be hurt at Trump's betrayal, and a co-conspirator scorned, will give the prosecutors everything they want and more. Epstein knows he is going to prison for a very long time, he has nothing to lose.

    2. Epstein has some very powerful connections. His friendships indicate close relationships with Mossad, who, in turn are hand in glove with MI5 and the CIA. He can have a causal lunch with the likes of no less than Prince Andrew one day and the daughter of murdered Mossad asset, Robert Maxwell the next.Which leads back to my opinion on the previous blog ; too many people 'know where the bodies are' so silence has never been so golden. As Trump beavers away trying to scare the whole world from his Twitter account I'm reminded of one of his vocal memes from his campaign - ''I'll drain the swamp''. That suggested exciting things like releasing old favourites like the truth behind the JFK slaughter and all the little green men that half the nutcases on the planet believe are in area 51.No wonder he was voted in.But the real 'swamp' is far murkier and contains far more theories.It could come back to bite him on his arse and give him brain damage.


  7. Rosalinda Hutton 14 July 2019 at 15:09

    “Oh yes, if I were young…”

    A lady is always young, dear Rosalinda, IMHO.

    I wish you a very happy birthday, 32nd, I believe, Your Elegance. Drinks are on me. :)



    1. Ahh bless you T for remembering. I shall raise a glass to you this evening - I am very partial to pink gin these days, there is a touch of divine decadence about it!

      Thank you for sticking with me, even though I have been so discombobulated (great word) of late. Your friendship and loyalty means much to me T, bless you. In your own sweet way, you empower me and that is just about the nicest thing one person can do for another :)

      Your '32' is poignant, and hits the spot, strangely. I have for the past few months been obsessed with letting my hair go grey (not what you want to hear from a fair maiden, ha ha), but it is a life altering decision that has dominated my every moment. I even did a blog with pictures documenting the almighty changes but have not had the courage to publish it. Maybe tonight I will get tipsy and press the button :)

      My reservations are:

      1) so I am going grey, who cares, I'm no-one :(
      2) all those hate me will have a field day
      3) I didn't make my bed and tidy up before I took the pictures
      4) I have definitely overdone the eyebrows and my upper arms look flabby
      5) Do I really want to get that personal? That is, put a face to the words

      I have a thousand other anxieties too, but today, they don't matter, and I shall raise my first drink to you T :)

  8. Christ it took a lot of dross reading before it got down to your pet hate Trump.

    Maybe you could post your experience of marriage - ya know just so we know where you are coming from?


    1. Ahh Dave, you call my writing dross, but still you return. Could it be that you secretly enjoy it?

      Tis true, Trump is one of my pet hates, actually that's putting it mildly, it is an obsession. I feel (all of us) are witnessing dramatic history in the making. I imagine telling my dear old Dad, the USA voted in a right wing, bigoted conman as President who is very likely to kick off WWIII. The chants of the 60's 'Never Again' have been forgotten as Trump replicas the moves of Hitler, even so far as 'rounding up' immigrants and putting them in concentration camps. The next step for those unfamiliar with modern history, is a final solution.

      I think I have written blogs in the past about marriage Dave. There may be one or two entitled 'Dear Cristobell', they might turn up if you put in a search. They are of course more 'me,me,me' (albeit as a spoof agony aunt) but some found them amusing.

  9. Helllo Rosalinda,
    This is just a quick question for you, obviously I don't want the content publishing of the earlier comment as it's of a sensitive nature. What I'm wondering is did you receive my DNP comment? That's all, I'm not expecting to discuss it, just a yes or no answer will suffice.Thanks for your time & take care!

    1. I did receive it Magenta, but I did not understand it. I'm sorry, I will go back and try again.

  10. Dear Ros
    I am so glad to see you, I thought you'd gone!
    To not have you here would be like unstitching part of the Bayeux Tapestry, things would never be the same again.
    I for one always enjoying your writing, the stories they tell.
    I look forward to your cook book with a decent quiche recipe in it, one day!


    1. @ SixYearsInAComanMan 18 July 2019 at 16:51

      What a beautiful heartfelt post.

      Believability - zero.

      I remember when Ros told you what reply you should make to a question I asked of you - and both you and Ros acknowledged it.

      Totally false.


    2. What a sad and cynical man you are Dave. SYIACM is quite real and quite sincere, I know who he is.

      I don't know what it is that troubles you Dave, but it is beyond my scope, and, I don't really care.

    3. How nice to see you SYIACM, and apologies for not replying. I am more unfocused than usual of late, settling down to write more and more impossible. I am unsettled and agitated and I can't find a lifeline to pull myself back. Apologies, too much information, I know it will pass.

      I have at least half a dozen blogs that I have failed to publish. I'm partially held back by fear - in that I am hated enough for my views on the McCann case, why give my enemies more ammunition. But then I saw a clip from Winston Churchill, if you don't have any enemies then you haven't stood up for anything.

      I sound steeped in melancholia, I'm not really, just transitioning. Trying to decide which road to try next, and the good news is, I'm not scared of any of them.

  11. "If you watch Fox News, you will believe Bill Clinton was Epstein’s No. 1 pal and enabler. If you watch MSNBC, this scandal is usually all about Donald Trump. In fact, both presidents are guilty (at the very least) of giving Epstein cover and credibility. There are so many unanswered questions about Epstein, but one that looms over all of them is whether the bipartisan crowd who cleared a path for him will cover its tracks before we can get answers — not just Clinton and Trump and all those who drank at Epstein’s trough but also (among others) institutions like Harvard, Dalton, and the Council on Foreign Relations, or lawyers like the New York prosecutor Cy Vance Jr., whose office tried to downgrade Epstein’s sex-offender status; Kenneth Starr, who tried to pressure Republican Justice Department officials to keep the Epstein case from ever being prosecuted; and Alan Dershowitz, who tried to pressure the Pulitzer Prizes to shut out the Miami Herald for its epic investigative reporting that cracked open the case anew."

    Jeffrey Epstein's Contacts, A to Z

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