Friday 6 February 2015


I apologise for behaving like a Drama Queen yesterday, I am afraid my emotions were very raw, reading thousands and thousands of words about what a loser you are can have that effect unfortunately. 

I wonder how these people have the time, or indeed the inclination, to psychoanalyse and profile complete strangers online and feel so passionately about the destruction of said stranger, that they are determined to get the rest of the population to join in with them. 

First we have the call for 'Jihad' by Tony Bennett against me.  He demands that the anti's unite to cast out the evil that is Cristobell.  In another life he would probably have been an Ayatollah, perhaps he doesn't hate Islam, so much as envy it?

Then we have Lazzeri, possibly a 'sock' of Tony Bennett, who has abandoned her pursuit of justice for Madeleine, to take up her new pursuit of Justice for Bennett and the universal condemnation of Cristobell.  Followed up by tigger who gives an indepth analysis/forensic linguistic interpretation of what a bitch I am, why, and sound reasons for everyone to buy a bag of rocks. 

I shouldn't have read it all, for that I blame myself, but its almost impossible not to.  And yes, it hurts like hell, because no matter how kind and compassionate the 'sane' people are, what you are left with is 'Go Away, Everyone Hates You'.  It reduces you to the lost angry, little girl or boy that you once were, the one the world doesn't understand and you don't know why, all you are left with is tears of frustration.

Tis no secret that I suffer from manic depression, perhaps I should never have spoken about it publicly because it attracts 'trolls' and those who get enjoyment out of making others suffer.  But I speak about my own depression so graphically and honestly, because I hope that it will strike a chord with others who have felt the same, and then I use humour to diffuse it, because that's what works for me.

I did the Sun interview, because I have worked damned hard this year to regain my physical and mental health, and I felt strong enough to face the fall out, which of course, I knew was inevitable.  The fact that the trolls could get to me at the peak of fitness is worrying, God help anyone they turn on who is feeling low. 

I also did the Sun interview, because everything I write and say, is based on honesty and integrity.  It enables me to sleep at night and face myself in the mirror.  I know for a fact that the 'enemy' (whoever that might these days) would not be able to find a single tweet, blog or statement made by me that would fit the description of 'troll'.

Yes I am a Drama Queen, as a child I was a 'Little Madam', and always the first one to challenge anything I saw as an injustice.  And yes, it has got me into trouble all my life, but I am not going to change now and I don't really see why I should.  I am what I am, and finally at peace with myself, the struggle to be something I'm not (Stepford Wife) wrecked my physical and mental health, so no, I won't be taking up knitting despite the 'kind' suggestions. 

My apology is to the kind, decent people out there, who were astute enough to recognise another person 'in trouble' and who swiftly came to my aid, I am sorry that I scared them, and I can't thank them enough, the world may be full of trickery, but it is filled with virtue too.  In the words of Michelle from CBB, Good Can Win.

For today, I am going to avoid twitter and everything malevolent so I can get things back into perspective.  I'm going to make some good wholesome soup (carrot, parsnip and ginger), followed by my latest 'alternate cream cake' creation, a meringue stack.  Actually, not so much a stack as tower, meringue, squirty cream fruit, meringue squirty cream fruit etc, which I intend to dive into face first. :)


  1. All opposition must be strangled, you are not allowed a different point of view as people might start thinking for themselves.

    Look at anyone trying to get the facts out there, they are drowned in shit!
    Bennett has spent years misinforming the public just look at his dead hand on Richard D Hall's work and the besmirching of the Smith family for example

    When did you see TB and his cohorts dissecting the lies of the tapas 7, Fiona Payne and Rachael Oldfield in particular, in forensic detail.


    Why is that?

    Just look after your health and don't let the bastards grind you down.

  2. Well done, Rosalind,

    I do fear that some things are better left unsaid, when it comes to writing. Many I have mixed with on the internet have no idea of the trauma I've witnessed with my own eyes; and after the developments of the last few years, I feel justified with my instinct to be very guarded.

    I have had to be a very cautious person for a long time (over half my life), and I think what we're seeing is a huge testimony to that.

    And I must wholeheartedly agree with what you say about your 'integrity and honesty', which, in the world of publishing especially, is to be lauded - I once wrote this: "When a person makes fantastical statements about the true story of events (which are published), it is guaranteed that people will come and scrutinise those publications to the absolute minutest detail..."

    Clearly, anonymous agitators who allow no such scrutiny of their written work should not, and cannot, be taken seriously; or why else would they 'hide who they are'?

    And that's exactly why you stand out from the crowd :-) xx

  3. Hi Cristobell!!
    I am new to your Blog,and i must say i enjoy it,very much! I do admire your honesty,as i think this is a must for a good writer!!
    I have read some of your comments on Jill Havern,whilst i research blogs about the Madeleine MCcann case,and i enjoy them! I do enjoy your style of writing!! Do continue the good work!And i know you are sincere about Justice for Madeleine!!!!

  4. No need to be sorry, and it's not drama queen to shout 'help I'm drowning!' I am strong enough to hear it without fear and respond. Sod the stiff upper lip and suffering in silence, be yourself and the right people see you and stand by you.

  5. Be strong girl.It will soon be over for the McCanns and Bennett will be outed.His minions such as Plebgate,Smokeandmirrors and Aquila/Fragrance/Lazzerri will hang their heads in shame.

    1. 04:19, I second that. Take strength, Cristobell, from all of us who care for you, who wish you well, and who love you and your writings. So good to see you blogging here today, Cristobell. Go get that meringue tower!
      As for the Bennett Babes, time to ignore that coven.
      Stay strong, Cristobell.

  6. Chin up, take care. Don't fret about Bennett, he's a zealot !

  7. Its so easy to feel let down cristobell by the very people who you thought were on The Justice for Madeleine side,it is they who should feel very ashamed of themselves,we will keeping our eyes on them all to see which side of the fence they really are on. Keep you chin up,you have done nothing wrong.

  8. Cristobell. Nice to see you're back. I don't see why you should apologise to anyone, you are your own person, but being the decent person you are I know you felt you had to.I myself have been a target on a forum a few years ago, that's why I prefer to stay anonymous and post on blogs such as yours, without getting nutters piling in to defend their so-called friends as soon as you have a dispute with anyone. I once chose the subject of depression to be discussed on the forum I once belonged, you wouldn't believe the amount of hate directed at a poor chap that decided to reply to my post. They said he was an attention seeker who wanted sympathy. After explaining the type of depression he suffered from, and no doubt expecting some helpful replies OH NO by admitting he had depression he had in-fact given them ammunition with which to attack him with. I left the forum after many battles of my own with the 'holier-than-thou's' and to this day I've never taken part in one. I read them out of interest, but find nothing much has changed, they are as vindictive as they ever were, and can make you ill trying to justify yourself to some nobody!!

    Take care

  9. The only way I overcame my personal demons was to accept who I am and not to give a shit about what others think. As long as you are decent and treat others how you would want to be treated. That's the best you can do. Don't let them take that away from you.

    Yourself and Blacksmith are the only bloggers on this case that do so with common sense and logic. So ignore all the nutters and conspiracy theorists spouting their trash at you.

    You and Russian Doll were the only ones who stuck up for me when I was getting grief at CMOMM a couple of years back, and as for Tigger (hypocrite) and TB demanding answers tell them to shove it up their rears!

    Mind how you go Cristobell.

  10. Don't let the bastards grind you down

  11. Hi Cristobell. I agree, you have no need to apologise to anyone. But it's a tribute to your inner goodness that you have. I hope you realise that not everyone hates you. And some of us actually quite like you just as you are. x

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  14. You are fantastic Ros

  15. Chin up. You have been true to yourself. No need to apologise. We are all human. Which of us hasn't slipped up? You are a brave lady. Keep the faith xx