Friday 13 April 2012


I regret that I was never put in charge of anybody, and it wasn't for for want of trying.  Whenever a job with a bit of authority came up, I would jump and down and shout 'pick me, pick me' , but the bosses would notice that maniacal glint in my eye and think better of it.  I once had a short lived career as a stationary monitor, but within weeks I had turned into a tyrant and was easily bribed. The power went straight to my head, I used to walk around the office singing 'You Must Love Me'.  Evita was big at the time. 

To be honest, I wasn't much good at all that ordering and re-ordering thingy, I just could not take the blue chits and the pink chits seriously, especially as chits is a funny word.  It eventually reached the point, where I only went into work for the extended lunch hours.  It was London, it was the eighties.......  and who would have thought an irate boss would have a heart attack because you still hadn't got him that stapler he ordered 3 weeks ago. 

Sadly, I never reached such lofty heights again, and wasn't sure I wanted to.   With power, comes a big head and a strong work ethic, and most of the time I couldn't be arsed.  There was nothing exciting in typing endless legal jargon dictated by dreary Henrys and Henriettas, who actually made the life choice of studying the most boring books in history.  You can just imagine a solicitor's leaving note to his wife 'My dahling Hermione, I hereby MAKE OATH and swear as follows:  I am running orf with my new secretary Chardonay and 4 of her 7 kids in a caravan.  See sub-paragraph 4. Section A.  Quite frankly, her tan, hair extensions and eyelashes come to £552,187.22 less p.a. than your dress allowance, and even with 7 kids and the extended family I will be quids in.  See Appendix D, Clause (b) (iv).  Signed, your former husband, Arnold (now known as Arnie the Asphalter).  Toodlepip.   For me being a secretary wasn't a life choice, I hated it.  That's why I love the George character in Seinfeld - no pretence whatsoever that he enjoys his job.  

Its probably fortunate for all that I gave the power craving a miss.  Much too stressful.


  1. Hiring and firing has become a very tricky job indeed. So many new laws have been put in place so you can't fire anyone without a legitimate and solid reason. Gone are the days when if you didn't like someones face they'd be out the door. You made the right decision to get out of there.

    1. Hi Bespoke, and thanks for the follow. I am reading your blog too!

      I'm not so sure about bosses getting rid of those they don't like - they can usually find a way. I once had a secretary in personnel following me for a month with a clipboard! lol

    2. in schools now they put the teachers on short tearm contacts And if they dont meet the targets the school wants , they get rid of them. so many going on sick . with stress again, some are teaching 2 classers at a time what isnt good. from mouldyplum